Total Drama Action: Unmade Bonds
by Sandstormzach
Summary: The sequel to my first fan fic, Unbroken Rules. If you haven't read it, please find it and do so, otherwise I doubt this story will make enough sense. Basically, last season Chris didn't allow anyone to break the rules. As a result, various things changed, including relationships. How will this affect the course of TDA? This story is my answer. Read to find out. Thanks 4 reviews!
1. Chapter 1

**Hello, everyone! Thank you for reading this. This story is the not very highly anticipated sequel to my first long-term fan fiction, Unbroken Rules. I hope you all like it. After TDI went so oddly in my last story due to Chris not letting anyone break the rules, things will diverge even more in this story. Like last time, the first chapter isn't very good, but it's necessary to have it. Things diverge more in the second chapter, so try to be patient. Next chapter will be up tomorrow. For now, read on and enjoy.**

Total Drama Action: Unmade Bonds

By Sandstormzach

Chapter 1: TDA, Now With 20% More Eva and Cody

After the hunt for the million dollars ended terribly, and fourteen of the Total Drama campers were forced into a second season, Chris let everyone rest for a few days before things got started again. Then, they all got on a bus and got out when they reached an old film lot. The bus pulled up to the gate and a bumper fell off of it. Duncan came out first and smelled the air. "Man, I missed the smell of the city", he said. Leshawna was next, followed by Harold, and then Gwen and Heather tried to exit at the same time. "Step off!" "You step off!" They growled at each other and both got out at once, running into Harold, who hit Leshawna. "Oww! Sorry, Leshawna", Harold said. "No harm done", she replied. Everyone else got off the bus, and it left. "Where is everybody?", Leshawna asked. "Maybe we got off at the wrong stop?", Gwen said. "But that bus was for us, it only HAD one stop", Cody said. "I'm not hanging around here", Heather said. Leshawna rolled her eyes. "You're gonna give up your chance at a million big ones? Yeah right." Heather sighed. "Guess I can stay for a bit." "Well I don't want to!", Eva yelled. "Where the heck is Chris? He was supposed to meet us here." Right on cue, Chris pulled up in a very long cart. "Dude, it's about time!", Duncan said. He and the others got in.

"Come on, people, we haven't got all day! This cart's rented by the hour!", Chris yelled. Geoff looked around and noticed someone was missing. He turned and called "Yo, Izzy!" She just stood there, whistling. "Oh, I mean Kaleidoscope!" She smiled. "No one leaves E-Scope behind!" She ran to the bus, jumped in and kissed Geoff. "Welcome to the set of Total Drama Action!", Chris said. "This season's hottest reality show will be shot here, on an abandoned film lot." Lindsay gasped. "Does this mean we're gonna be in the movies?" "No, it means you're gonna be on TV. And don't interrupt me! Ever!" He turned and flicked Lindsay's nose, then resumed driving. "You'll be spending the next six weeks here, competing against each other in challenges and for rewards, all for the chance to win some monster cash!" Owen laughed. "Yeah, baby, I'm gonna win me some moolah!" "Shush! Anyway, like last season, one team will win and the other team will watch one of their own make their way down the dreaded walk of shame, to the lame-ousine." He pulled up to the limo by a stadium, which spewed exhaust fumes at the campers. Trent coughed. "Couldn't you have sprung for a better ride?", he asked. "No. Now since we don't have the outhouse to dump your deepest, darkest secrets in, you'll dish the dirt in our new makeup booth confession cam." He pulled up to it and Lindsay hopped out.

_Confession Cam: Lindsay_

"_Oh my gosh, a whole trailer full of makeup!" A hand appeared, offering some lipstick. "Oh, sorry, I don't use that brand."_

Chris drove past some more buildings and then to a tent. "On your left is the craft services tent and mess hall, catered by Chef. If you survive Chef, you'll have to make it through our dramatic award ceremony, where all but one loser will receive a gilded Chris award." Chris smiled. "Cool, huh?"

_Confession Cam: Gwen_

"_The gilded Chris? Ha! What a narcissist! Don't get me wrong, though, I still want one."_

Geoff sighed. "You done now, dude?" Chris glared at him. "I have an eject button, and I'll use it." "Please, continue." He didn't. Instead, he drove through some fancy backdrops. "Whoa... Cool! Is this a dream?", Harold asked. "No Harold, it is not, but you may soon wish it was. A few months ago, this lot was home to a high budget monster movie, until the star began experiencing some, ah... uuuh... difficulties?" Lindsay gasped. "Oh no, did she have, like, a mental breakdown?" Chris grinned wickedly. "Actually the star wasn't a 'her'... it was an animatronic monster!" Gwen looked around. "Is that why half these buildings have bite marks on them?"

Suddenly, a loud roar was heard from nearby. "Come on, dudes, he's yanking our chains", Duncan said. He was soon proven wrong by some intense stomping and a falling phone pole. Several campers screamed, and Cody started clinging to Lindsay. Chris stopped the cart and turned to the campers. "Since we're on a film lot, this season's challenges will be based on movie genres. Today's genre: the monster movie!" Chris laughed and the giant monster walked by the cart. DJ fainted. Chris got out and poked him with a stick. "Huh. Down for the count. Anyway, for your first challenge, just get from here to the cast trailers while our state of the art monster prevents your every move."

Several minutes of this episode cannot be found on YouTube so I can't go over exactly what happened during them. Basically the monster chased them around for a while and caught some of the contestants, the next part I can get video of is when Gwen and Trent reach the beach...

Gwen and Trent ran to the beach, and the monster tried to whack them with its tail. Cody ran by, and the monster caught him. "Oh, crap..." While Trent and Gwen ran to hide, the monster carried Cody over to the bounce house, where Leshawna, Harold, Geoff and Bridgette were.

_Confession Cam: Cody_

"_I really should've watched some of the old Kaiju movies I own before coming here..." _

Later, Heather was running from the monster, and Lindsay ran after it. The monster roared at Heather. "You tell her, we don't like her!", Lindsay said. The monster turned around and scooped her up, then grabbed Heather, and dropped them in the bounce house. Lindsay hugged Cody. "Oh, I'm so glad you're safe, Brody!" "Cody." "Whatever!" Meanwhile, the monster went off to chase, Trent, Gwen, DJ and Eva. After a few blocks, Trent stopped suddenly and yelled "Everyone, follow me!"

_Confession Cam: Gwen_

"_That's what makes Trent such a great boyfriend. He's always thinking of others. It's one of the things I love about him."_

He led them into a building, but when they got through the door they were out in a clearing. "You mean everything around here is fake?", Trent asked. The monster reached over the fake building and grabbed all four of them. It walked over to the bounce house and dropped them. "I'm here for you, Gwen!", Trent yelled. But, they landed safely. "Oh... huh." Back where those four had been, Duncan and Owen came out from behind a fake car. "Haha, losers!", Duncan said. "I'm glad I'm not them", said Owen. Then, the monster tapped Duncan on the shoulder and roared at him. He grabbed Duncan and took him away. Owen tried to run in the other direction, but didn't get far. "I can't... run... any... more..." He fell over, and the monster came back to take him away. It grabbed and lifted Owen, but its arm started to break and sparks flew from it. "Huh?"

_Confession Cam: Owen_

"_Boy, am I ever glad I didn't go on that diet! Being unhealthily fat saved my life! Pretty ironic, huh?"_

The monster dropped Owen, who cheered. "Yes, I win! I win!" Chris walked up and said "Not yet, Owen my man. You still have to find the trailers." Owen groaned. "Aww, man..." The next morning, he found them. He fell over by the bounce house and broke it open with a pin. "It took you ten and a half hours to walk three city blocks? That's just sad, man", DJ said. After they got out, Leshawna looked around. "Wait, where's Izzy?" The monster walked up, crushed a nearby trailer and set Izzy down by the others. "Thanks for the date, baby!", she said. Geoff gasped. "You're cheating on me with a giant lizard?" She hugged him. "Oh, don't be silly. I was just in it for the fancy dinner. He wouldn't take no for an answer. Pretty crazy, can't even tell you guys."

Chris walked out of the other, uncrushed trailer, and looked around. "Whoa, am I ever glad I chose not to wait in THAT trailer. Well, it looks like you all made it. Guess I lose the bet... that was just a warmup. Good news is your next challenge is for a reward." The campers cheered. "It will be the boys against the girls, with the winner getting the first pick of the trailers, where you'll be living for the next six weeks. Now, off to the craft services tent!" "Yeah, baby", Owen said, "I'm starving!"

_Confession Cam: Owen_

"_My mom says I eat when I'm upset. And happy. And tired. Not to mention bored, gassy, morose, joyous, comatose, semiconscious, avuncular... Hahaha, avuncular." _

At the tent, Owen yelled "This is awesome!"_ "_Dude, this chow looks like something out of a commercial", Geoff said. "Ooh, can I star?", Lindsay asked. Owen smiled. "Let's get this speed eating contest started! On your marks, get set, come to papa!" Owen charged at the food and started eating. Chris yelled "No, wait!", but Owen ignored him. When he finished eating everything, he collapsed on the table. "Owen, the man of many appetites. How was it?", Chris asked. "Uh, the turkey was a bit dry..." "Not surprising, since the food was fake." "Fake?" "Yep. Just props made from foam core, silicone, sawdust and wax. It wasn't a speed eating contest. It was a contest to find the key." "What key?" Owen belched and it shot out of his mouth. "Oh, you mean this key?" "That'd be the one", Chris said. Owen smiled. "Does this mean I win?" "Yes, yes it does." "Alright!" The guys cheered.

_Confession Cam: Eva_

"_I swear, if he wins another challenge just by being a disgusting pig, I'm gonna beat the crap out of him. AND everything else in his guts!" _

_Confession Cam: Harold_

"_I could've done that, you know. I just wasn't hungry."_

_Confession Cam: Leshawna_

"_You know what that boy has? Guts. Guts full of foam core and wax, but still." _

Chef got some medicine for Owen. "Don't worry", he told him, "my mom says I've got a gut like a goat... okay nevermind, call a doctor." Chef laughed. "You're gonna need it." Chris walked up chuckling. "Yeah, but since you're the winner, you need to pick your team's trailer." Everyone went to the trailers and Owen looked at them. "I choose... the squashed one!" The guys complained. "What? It has more character." The girls cheered, but then the monster walked up and squashed the other trailer. The girls groaned.

Later that night, Chef fixed up the trailers and Chris drove up in his cart. "Okay everyone, get a good night's sleep because you've got a seriously early wake up call tomorrow. Call time is: six AM! Sleep tight!" The guys went into their trailer and split up the bunks without much fuss, but the girls had more trouble. "I need to sleep on the east side so my head will be closer to the ocean", Heather said. "That's the dumbest thing I've ever heard", Leshawna told her. "We're in Toronto, we're nowhere near the ocean." "Well, what do you suggest?" "I suggest you keep bein' nice so I don't get an urge to hit you upside the head!" Bridgette whistled. "Girls, you heard Chris, we need to be on set by six AM tomorrow. Can we just settle this peacefully?" Eva groaned. "Aww, do we have to?" "We can draw straws or something", Bridgette said. "Who's got straws?" Lindsay raised her hand. "Ooh, we can use makeup brushes instead!" She got them and handed them to Bridgette. "Longest ones get the top bunks. Shortest ones get the bottoms. Shortest of all get to sleep with Heather." Heather blushed. "Um, I think you mean bunk?" The girls picked their brushes out and paired off, leaving Heather alone. "So I get two beds all to myself?", she asked. "Sweet." Gwen facepalmed. "Yeah, we've really gotta work on our math." Then, they rested up for the next day's challenge.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2: Alien versus Heather

Early the next morning, the campers got up and went for breakfast at the craft services tent. Chef served up bacon and scrambled eggs, which may or may not have come from chickens. DJ was first in line, smiling. "More eggs and bacon for me, Chef. Keep 'em comin'." Chef growled at him and he walked away. Duncan got his next. "Forgot how hungry I was last season, eating on Chris's wrecked schedule." "I know", Gwen said, "it got to the point where I'd kill for Chef's disgusting food. No offense, Chef." "None taken", he said. Gwen stepped forward to get her eggs and he dropped them on the ground. "You can have my burnt toast, big mouth", Duncan said. "Really? Judging by that gut, I thought you'd be all over the extra carbs." Duncan chuckled. "Haha, nice." Trent walked up, smiling. "You can have my toast, Gwen." She smirked. "Thanks, but I can't take enemy toast." "Enemies? We're not enemies..." "In this game, we're all enemies", Duncan told him. "Except for me and Gwen. I'll always have her back", Trent said. "No matter what." Gwen smiled. "Right back at ya, babe." Duncan rolled his eyes. "I'll remind you two of that when the money's being divvied up."

Izzy got some pancakes and began coating them in ketchup. "That is so wrong", Lindsay said. Izzy giggled. "In battle we put ketchup on everything. Covers the taste of mortar." Lindsay looked at her hand, then showed it to Eva. "My new nail polish is mortar. Isn't it hot?" "Uh, sure. It's nice and... gray." They got their food, and Owen came up to get his. Chef put a tray on the counter, and Owen came up groaning. "No eggs and bacon for me, Chef. I'll just have this... ugh... nice bowl of prunes." Everyone else gasped and stared at him.

_Confession Cam: Owen_

"_My, uh, plumbing has been clogged ever since I ate all those fake food props. Pressure buildup's killin' me! Come on, colon, don't fail me now!" He farted and smiled. "Oh, I hear bowels!"_

Chris walked in during breakfast, wearing a scarf and a beret and carrying a backpack. "Welcome to day two of Total Drama Action!", he said. "Are you gonna do that every time?", Duncan asked. "Yes. Yes I will." Duncan shrugged. "Today's movie genre: aliens! Our unpaid interns have been hard at work figuring out what makes an alien movie successful. Chef?" "You got three basic moves. Aliens wanna take over the world and start making lots of baby aliens. People fight back. Then the military's called." Chef tossed some food at Owen and glared at Chris. "Yo, Chris. Where's my paycheck at?" "It's in the mail!", he replied. Then, he pulled a map out of his backpack. "Today's challenge: find an alien egg and return to home base before mama alien finds you. The first two to arrive get to pick teams this season."

Duncan smirked. "Sorry, losers, but no one knows alien movies the way I do. The more obscure, the better." Gwen cleared her throat and said "I'm gonna blend up those no-good aliens and have 'em for breakfast!" "Dude, Alien Chunks is my favorite alien movie of all time!" Gwen smiled. "Me too! I've seen it twenty seven times!" "Fifty three." Gwen smirked. "You'll be tough to beat. But, I have my lucky charm."

_Confession Cam: Gwen_

"_I love the scene in Alien Chunks where they turn the aliens into fruity blended drinks. I even have the necklace. It's a good luck charm, too bad I forgot to bring it last season. Maybe I could've won if I had it."_

"I like that movie where the aliens take over the government. Take me to your leader!", Trent said. Duncan laughed. "Oh, dude, you are so going down." "It was a good movie! Right? Gwen?" Gwen looked away. "Um, okay, this is kinda awkward." DJ raised his hand and yelled "Yo, Chris! You got some laser shooting monster mama alien?" "Not quite", He said. Then, Chef walked out of the kitchen in a damp green alien costume. "You call that slime? Makeup, more slime over here!", Chris yelled. Someone poured a bucket of green goop on Chef's head. "I hate my life", said Chef. Then, Chris pulled some gadgets out of his backpack and threw them to the teens. "Here are your GPS devices, complete with maps of the film lot. Find the alien eggs, but be careful, cause today you're all on Chef's menu!" Chef laughed.

After finishing their food, the campers walked to a spaceship set and went in. Izzy ran off, looking around at the walls. "Hey, follow me!", she yelled. "I know aliens. Uh-huh, I've been abducted loads of times. There's a tracking device in my neck, see?" Harold looked at it. "Does it hurt?" "Only when I hiccup." Behind them, Leshawna stopped by a door and shivered. "Can you feel that? It's like there's somethin' in there, cold as ice! With no soul..." From his control booth, Chris turned on a steam vent to blast her. Harold shrieked and jumped into her arms.

_Confession Cam: Leshawna_

"_I've already told that skinny little tadpole that things between us aren't meant to be! Guess he can't get over the lusciousness that is Leshawna."_

_Confession Cam: Harold_

"_I'm pretty sure Leshawna secretly likes me. I see the way she looks at me, like she's unpantsing me with her eyes. Her beautiful brown eyes... like chocolate almonds..."_

The teens kept walking along the corridor with Heather bringing up the rear. "How come we're the only dots on the screen?", she asked. "Where's Chef? Where are the eggs?" Cody shrugged. "Probably to keep us on our toes. Good thing I'm a pro at running from guys who are bigger and tougher than me." Meanwhile, in another corridor, Gwen, Trent, Bridgette and Duncan heard some weird sucking sounds. She turned around and shushed the others. They stood still for a minute. "What is that?", Trent asked. "Must be Chef", Duncan answered. "You guys wanna run, or do you wanna kick some alien butt?" "Let's kick some alien butt!", Gwen yelled. "Ahem?", Trent said. "Oh. Trent, any thoughts?" "Yeah, let's... kick some alien butt!" The teens charged forward and turned a corner, running into Geoff and Izzy making out, with the others behind them. Duncan laughed. "Oh, it's just you guys!" Bridgette sighed. "Come on, you're in the middle of a challenge. Stop locking lips, this is not the right time for it!" "Enough messing around, we've got alien eggs to capture", said Gwen.

_Confession Cam: Gwen_

"_I wasn't worried about Chef, alien costume or not. I mean, I did place second last season. I know exactly what I'm doing."_

Gwen pulled out her GPS and checked it. "Good thing we're all lined up in a row..." "Yeah", Trent said, "ready for Chef to pick us off one at a time." "We've really gotta work on our strategizing." Suddenly, a siren went off. DANGER, DANGER, DANGER, DANGER. "Let's get out of here!", Heather yelled. "Which way do we go?", Cody asked. "North is nice, and east is least, so west is best!", Lindsay said. "Can't argue with that logic", Cody said. "Let's go!" They ran off with Leshawna and Eva behind them. "The map says the boiler room is east of here", Gwen said. "Alien eggs are always in the boiler room." "Uh, yeah, totally! East it is", Trent said. They ran off along with Duncan and DJ. Geoff and Izzy went to follow them, but Duncan turned around and asked "Where do you think you're going?" "With you, to the boiler room." Duncan crossed his arms. "Sorry, but you lovebirds are on your own." Izzy shrugged. "Alright then. E-Scope the alien hunter's gonna win this challenge anyway." They ran off up a ramp, and the remaining campers went a fourth way.

"Everyone, snap out of it", Heather said. "If we don't band together, we are gonna lose this challenge. Now who's with me?" "It's hard to say", Owen said. "Does being with you imply some sort of alliance?" "Of course it does! My alliance helped me win last season, remember?" "That's the problem", Bridgette said. "We don't want you to win again. We want US to win. You're on your own." "Okay, okay, forget being with me. Who's willing to walk beside me, in mutual pursuit of our goals with no commitment of any kind?" "I can agree to that." "Count me in", Harold said. Then, Chef dropped down from the ceiling. "Did anyone else here that?"

_Confession Cam: Harold_

"_I may not be the best looking guy, or the best dressed, or the most buff, but I get my butt kicked a lot, so my senses are totally heightened. I can sense when something is coming. Nothing gets by me."_

Chef tapped Harold's shoulder. "Say hello to eternity", he said. He shot Harold, knocking him to the floor, and Owen ran up to Chef. "It's time... take me out! I beg you! It's an emergency!" Chef shot him, and he ran off to the bathroom. "Oh, thank you! Thank you!"

Heather and Bridgette were left alone, with Chef laughing and walking toward them. Heather glared at him. "Okay! I put up with your nasty food for eight weeks, and I'm willing to put up with it for a few more! But I am not gonna let you stand between me and my victory!" She charged at Chef and started punching him, then tried to yank his gun away. He shot her shirt. "Hey, watch it! These clothes are expensive!" She kicked him between the legs. "You'd better hope that stain comes out!" Chef fell over, groaning in pain, and Heather and Bridgette ran off. Next, Chef ran into Geoff and Izzy making out. "Oh, this is too easy." "Oh, there you are!", Izzy said. She jumped over Geoff, landed on Chef's head, jumped off again and ran away. "Good luck, Geoffie!"

Meanwhile, Gwen's group found the boiler room. They opened the door, peeked in and saw a tank full of eggs. Elsewhere, Lindsay's group reached a dead end. "Um, how did we get here?", she asked. "If we knew, we wouldn't be lost", Eva said. "Let me take charge, I'll find the stupid eggs." Then, a door closed behind them. "I hate to be the big bad bearer of alien news", Leshawna said, "but I think this may be a trap." Lindsay hugged Cody, and gunk started raining from the ceiling. The teens screamed in horror and groaned with disgust. "Eww, grody!"

Back in the boiler room, Trent picked up one of the eggs. "Wow, they look so real." "Woohoo! We won, yeah!", DJ yelled. "Not so fast, big guy. We still need to get the eggs back to home base", said Duncan. The others got their eggs and then a door opened. Chef walked in, grinning. DJ tried to run, but tripped and crushed his egg. He yelled "Save yourselves!" The others ran off and Chef chased after them out into a cowboy movie set. Chris flew over them in a helicopter. "Hello, civilians! The military is here to protect you now! Unfortunately, we can't let you leave with any alien eggs." "But we're supposed to take the alien eggs, that's what you said!", Trent yelled. "Zip it, I'm playing a role here!" Chris hit a button on his control pad and dropped some bombs. The teens and Chef ran for cover and the bombs blew up, coating the area with green goop. Chris laughed. "Whew, glad I don't have to clean that up!"

Duncan walked up to Gwen and Trent, covered in gunk. "Does this mean I'm out?" "Too bad, so sad. More money for me", Gwen said. "Ooh, down for the count!", Duncan said. Gwen laughed. Trent raised an eyebrow and tapped Gwen's shoulder. "Come on, let's get moving." Gwen looked down. "Oh no! Our alien eggs! Where'd they go?" Duncan spotted one. "I'm on it!" "No, I'm on it!" Trent ran to get the egg, and Gwen touched her throat. "My necklace! It's gone!" Trent stopped and looked for it. He saw it falling into a drain, dove for it and snatched it up.

_Confession Cam: Gwen_

"_I know this is gonna sound really girly, but I was seriously touched when Trent chose my necklace over the egg. Most guys would've gone for the win."_

"Personally, I would've picked the win", Duncan said. Trent walked up to Gwen and handed her the necklace. "Sorry about losing the egg", he said. "It's okay. Thanks for saving my necklace... I want you to have it. For luck." She put it around his neck. He smiled. "It suits you." Then, Chris jumped out of his copter and parachuted down. "You three gave a valiant effort", he said. "But, you're still losers!" He pointed at them and laughed, but Trent spotted a pair of eggs. "Not so fast, Chris", he said. He ran and brought them over. "Looks like my good luck charm is workin' already." He handed one to Gwen. "Meet you at home base, babe." They ran off, and Chris walked up to Chef. "Can't you do anything right?" Chef glared at him. "Where's my money? Hmm? Give me my money!" Chris ran away and Chef ran after him, demanding his paycheck.

Back at camp, everyone was hanging out by the trailers when Trent and Gwen arrived with their eggs. "We have our two winners!", Chris said. "Our only two winners! As our winners, Gwen and Trent will now be able to pick their teams, which means they'll be competing against each other this season." Trent's jaw dropped. "Aww, dude, no!" Chris laughed. "Bet you didn't see that one coming! After we vote off a cast member in the first thrilling gilded Chris ceremony of the season, you will be on opposite teams, starting tomorrow."

That evening, the cast members went to the big stadium for the ceremony. Chris walked up to the podium. "It's time to cast your votes", he said. "Under your seats, you'll find your voting devices. Just press the button next to the person you want voted off. Oh, and no peeking, or your vote doesn't count." The cast members took a few seconds to make their decision. "Okay, the votes have been cast." Chef walked up sulking and in a dress, carrying a tray of tiny statues. The teens laughed. "If you get a gilded Chris, it means you're safe. For now. And the gilded Chrises go to... Trent, Gwen, Harold, Duncan, and Izzy..." "E-Scope!" "Fine, E-Scope. Lindsay, Cody and Eva are also safe. So is Owen. Next is DJ, Heather, Bridgette and... Geoff." Leshawna stood up. "What? For real? You guys voted me off?" "I didn't, Leshawna!", Harold said. "I love you!" She rolled her eyes, grumbled and walked off to the lame-ousine. "Well, see y'all later, then. Good luck, Gwen!" Gwen waved. Then, Chris ran up to the camera. "Who will Gwen and Trent pick for their teams? Will Izzy ever answer to her actual name again? Will this be the toughest season ever? Guess we'll all find out tomorrow!"


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3: Seeing Through the Act

Early in the morning, Chris woke the cast members up with his megaphone. "All crew on set!", he yelled, "Call time is four AM!" He kissed his megaphone. "I love this thing!" The girls groaned and walked out of their trailer. "Chris is gonna pay for this, I swear", Eva grumbled. The guys came out next. "This continuing sadistic wake-up call is messing with the natural rhythms of my body clock", Harold said. "My mojo will be destroyed!" Geoff patted him on the shoulder. "Chill out, dude, it's not so bad. This is probably just part of the challenge or something."

After sunrise, Chris came to the teens at their trailers. "You're on a film set now, and you're gonna learn showbiz is not all red carpets and pool parties. Today you're gonna get schooled on how tough on-set production life can be", He told them. "Whatever. I can deal", Gwen said. "I once had a summer job at a petting zoo. It's sooo adorable, everybody feeding the adorable goats their adorable cabbages, but somebody, meaning me, had to clean up the less adorable end of the digestive process." "Well, speaking of number two, it's time you pick your teammates, and then try to stick it to the team your boyfriend chooses." Trent turned to Gwen, looking worried. "We're not gonna get all competitive and nasty, are we?" She hugged him. "Absolutely not. We learned from last season, right?" "Right."

Chris had the campers line up in front of Gwen and Trent. "Okay, let's get this blood bath started", he said. "You're gonna choose schoolyard style, boy girl boy girl... ladies first, but since we have no ladies here, Gwen." Gwen sighed. "I dunno... Duncan?" Trent gasped, and Duncan smirked.

_Confession Cam: Trent_

"_I can't believe she just went ahead and chose Duncan! I mean, they're kind of alike, and now she wants to be on the same team? What am I supposed to make of that? All I know is I do NOT want anyone taking Gwen away from me." _

Duncan walked up and high fived Gwen. Trent glared at him. "I choose the beautiful Lindsay!" "Yay!", Lindsay said.

_Confession Cam: Gwen_

"_The beautiful? What, was Trent trying to tick me off by picking Lindsay like that? What's his problem all of a sudden?"_

"Because I like to keep things cool", Gwen said, "I choose Bridgette." Bridgette walked over, smiling. "You think I'm cool?" Gwen nodded. "You know what would be seriously great?", Lindsay asked. "If you picked Cody!" Trent shrugged. "Eh, sure. Cody, get over here." "Sweet! I didn't get picked last!" He ran over to Trent and Lindsay and waved at Gwen. "Good luck, Gwen!" Gwen raised an eyebrow. "DJ." "Eva." Gwen looked over the others. "I pick... Heather." Heather looked at her and slowly walked over. "Really?" Gwen nodded. "Yeah, you made it to the finals with me last season. I need a strong player."

_Confession Cam: Heather_

"_It's about time someone realized I'm the most valuable player here. I mean seriously, I won last season. I'm surprised she didn't pick me first."_

Trent looked at the remaining three guys. "Uh... I choose Owen." "Woohoo!" Owen ran over and high fived him. "Um, hello", Harold asked, "Don't wicked skills count for anything? I mean, who else here went to film camp, and is fully trained as a junior cinematographer with a thorough knowledge of lighting filters, film stock-" "I pick him", Gwen said. "If for no other reason but to shut him up." "Wise choice", he said. Trent looked at the last two cast members. "Um... I guess Izzy's on my team", he said. Izzy just stood there. "Izzy?" She started whistling. "She likes to be called Kaleidoscope", Geoff said. "Oh, right. E-Scope?" "Here!" She smiled and ran over. Then, Geoff walked over to Gwen's team and waved at Izzy. "Good luck, babe!" "Good luck, Geoffie!", she replied.

Chris walked up to Gwen. "Gwen, I christen your team the Screaming Gaffers." Then he ran over to Trent. "Trent, you're the Killer Grips." Eva smirked. "Sounds good to me!" "What the heck is a Gaffer?", Heather asked. "It sounds like something that has rabies." Suddenly there was a crashing sound from over at another set. Chris got a call on his phone. "Yeah? Uh-huh. Uh-huh... Well, alright then." He turned off his phone. "Well, since we're behind schedule and some of our interns just quit, we'd better get going. Your challenge: for each team to set up a film set." He walked over to some smaller trailers and film equipment near the base of a cliff. "As location manager, I want your sets to go... there!" He pointed up the cliff. Gwen glared at him. "You just love doing this to us." "Yes. Yes I do." He pulled out his megaphone. "Lights! Camera! Action!"

The teams began racing up the cliff, carrying their equipment. Eva started pushing the trailer for the Grips. "Outta my way, you wimps!", she yelled. She ran into Gwen and nearly knocked her over, but Duncan helped her stay balanced. Trent turned and noticed this. "What're you doing with him?", he asked. "Uh, we're on the same team?" Trent rolled his eyes and kept walking, but tripped. Lindsay ran over to help him back up, and Trent smiled. "Yeah, so are we." Heather went up to Gwen. "Okay, this system is really inefficient. I say we organize things relay style and pass the equipment up." "If you say it, we're not doing it", Gwen replied. "But it's a good idea!" "I'm totally with you", Harold said. "Write down all your good ideas and we can bring them up at the next team meeting. I'll second you. Cool?" Heather shook her head and went back down the cliff. "Thanks, but no thanks. Gwen doesn't seem to trust me enough for that to work."

Trent pulled out Gwen's necklace and kissed it nine times. "Come on, lucky necklace, papa Trent needs you", he told it. Izzy laughed. "Haha, wow! And I thought I was crazy! You're talking to jewelry?" "You are crazy", he said. "I'm just trying to help our team win this thing." "Hey, that's what I'm tryin' to do too! If you've got some lucky earrings I'd be glad to have a little chat with them!" Trent ignored her and kept running. Then, Eva reached the top of the cliff with the trailer. "Yes, I did it! I win!" "Actually WE won", Trent said. Eva rolled her eyes. "Yeah, whatever. Okay, Chris, are we done now?" Chris called up from the bottom of the cliff. "No, we still need the other team to get up there!" The Gaffers groaned and got going.

After some convincing from the others, DJ pulled the trailer up the cliff. "Okay, we're done now. Right?" Chris laughed. "I never said that!" Eva glared at him. "What!" "That was only the first part of the challenge. Did I neglect to mention that?" He motioned for them to follow him over to the backdrops. "It's time to make a movie. What we've got here is the set for a tear jerker, starring an elderly lady considering her long life." "Boring", Trent said. Then Chris pointed at the second backdrop. "You'll be making a feature about a thug who tries to go straight but can't resist the lure of the street. Sound good, Gaffers?" "Yeah, it's been done", Gwen said. "Hey, what about lunch?", Heather asked. "We've been working for eight hours and you are legally obligated by union rules to give us a meal break." Chris glared at her. "Oh yeah? Who here is in the union?" He and Chef raised their hands. No one else did. "Yeah, I thought so."

_Confession Cam: Heather_

"_I am hereby forming Local 1 of United Workers Against Chris. Who's with me? Everybody? It'll be like a big anti Chris alliance!" _

"And now it's time to choose an actor to perform a scene", Chris said. "Chef, give the teams their scenes." He tossed some folders at the cast members. Trent looked over his. "Alright, we need an old lady." Izzy ran to the middle of the set. "Oh, please, let me do it! It's gotta be me! I've got an old soul! I'm like eighty seven years old on the inside cause I've been reincarnated like a whole bunch of times. Actually, I'm the reincarnation of my very own granny Mavis!" She closed one eye, bent over and walked up to Trent. "Aye there, laddie, ya spilled a wee bit of haggis on your kilt, and I can tell ya of the lochs a-risin' up to the claw!" She bowed, and the others yelled "Okay, fine!" Then, Gwen looked at her folder. "'Big Lucky' Parmesano?" "A tough guy", Heather said. "Duncan?" "What?" "You have got to play the gangster", Gwen said. "Don't type cast me, I don't even know if I can act", Duncan said. "You want Harold or DJ to do it?" "What about me?", Geoff said. "I can act tough!" Gwen raised an eyebrow. "Really? You sure?" He walked up and glared at her. "You callin' me a liar, huh? I wouldn't do that if I were you, there could be some serious consequences!" Gwen backed off and Geoff laughed. "See? I totally know how to act." Chris pulled out his megaphone again. "Alright, set up the shots! Whoever can get Chef, mister ex army corporal, to show any emotion besides anger wins the challenge." Chef glared and growled at the camera.

Lindsay started putting makeup on Izzy. "Your makeup? Gorgeous! And now I'm going to make you really feel like an old lady!", she said. She pushed Izzy down and kept applying makeup. "I feel like eighty years have already passed since we started to adjust the lighting", Izzy said. "Don't you dare move", Eva said. "Oh don't worry, I can't. My legs are totally asleep." "Could I get that last line again?", Cody asked. Trent lowered the mic to her and she grabbed it. "I SAID MY LEGS ARE ASLEEP!" Cody shrieked and fell over. Meanwhile, Geoff went over his lines. "Dude, I don't think think I can memorize this. Also, these lines are way outta left field", he said. "Just say what's written and don't be such a Prima Donna", Heather said. "Trust me, I know from experience that it doesn't go well."

Lindsay pulled out a box of fabric. "There's seven colors on these tape roll thingies but I don't know which one to use... And what kind of shape would a mark be? Like, an M for Mark? Or..." Izzy groaned and started wobbling. "Legs are starting to tingle... I don't think I can hold much-" she fell over. "Longer..." "Oh, come on!", Eva yelled. "We had the lighting perfect! Get back into position!" "Ugh, it's been decades! Can we just get the ball rolling on my eventual best actress nomination?" Meanwhile, Heather went back behind her team's set. "No wonder we're taking so long, this place is a mess. What are half these cords even for?" She walked into one, tripped and got pulled up by the lighting. "Gah, come on! Someone get me down! PLEASE!" Harold walked up with a hook thing. "I'll help you down, milady", he said. Heather groaned, then yelled when Harold got her down and she hit the floor. "Ouch!" She rubbed her head. "Uh... thank you." Harold bowed. "Anything for milady."

_Confession Cam: Harold_

"_Ive been working on my courting skills. Yup... I've mastered girl whispering."_

_Confession Cam: Heather_

"_Is this part of what being nice does? It makes guys like you more? I don't like it! I liked it better when guys only liked me because I'm not! Besides, I'm not into him, or anyone else here with an H in their name. Just a G. Well, at least he'll make an easy to persuade alliance member, and right now, 'milady' needs all the help she can get."_

"And now, time for the final hair and makeup", Chris announced. DJ walked up to Geoff with a purple bag. "This light is just appalling! How am I supposed to work without proper lighting?" He pulled out a brush and started wiping off Geoff's face. The girls stared at him and gasped. "I mean, can you tilt that chin up just a smidge?", he asked Geoff. "That's enough!", Chef yelled. He grabbed DJ and pulled him aside. "What? My mama always told me I had a flair for applying her church makeup, so I figured-" "We've got to toughen you up, you big ol' marshmallow", Chef said.

_Confession Cam: Chef_

"_I've gotta admit, I see a bit of myself in DJ, but I had to develop the macho in myself without somebody like me helpin.' This is gonna be fun..." _

Chef started pacing. "Here's the deal", he said. "I'll help you man up and win this thing, if you don't ask any stupid questions and you split the prize money with me. Like they say, it's an offer you can't refuse... I won't let you." He glared at DJ, who backed away and fell over in his chair. Back on the set, Lindsay finished dressing up Izzy. "Wow, you don't look like you!", she said. "Aye, lassie, that's on account of me bein' a master thespian!" "Just make sure you lose the accent", Trent said. "Okay, granny McE-Scope?" At the other set, DJ and Harold handed Geoff a fedora and a paintball gun. "And that's... action!", Chris said. The cast members began their acts.

First up, Geoff. "When I was a young school girl in Poland, frolicking through the fields with my pet goat in the summer sun, those were my happiest days." Chris turned to Chef, who was watching. "Did you check the envelopes before you labeled them?" "I thought YOU checked 'em", he replied. They both laughed. Meanwhile, it was Izzy's turn. "Now you listen and you listen good. If your fighter doesn't go down in the first round, you'll be sleepin' with the fishes! And, uh... that's tough to do because... you know, they have no eyelids, and it's hard to sleep. Hey, I can flip my eyelids, anyone wanna see me flip them?" Offstage, Trent smirked and looked to Cody. "Okay, granny Izzy's nuts, but but at least she's committed. Geoff's gonna have a hard time beating that."

And, back to Geoff. "I've lived a good, long life. I've loved, and laughed, but what I miss most of all is my sweet little goat... Chopin, ohhh, baaa... baaa..." Chef watched, and frowned. "Baa... baa..." He began crying and covered his face. Chris started to cry, but stopped himself and yelled. "Cut, cut! Okay, enough! It's too much for Chef to take! Geoff clearly wins for best performance. Screaming Gaffers win it!" Izzy ripped her bonnet off and threw it on the ground angrily. Then, DJ walked up to Chef. "You're gonna teach me how to be a tough guy?" He lifted DJ off the ground by his shirt. "Tough guys cry! And did you notice how your team just won? Who was the judge, DJ? Huh? Who?"

After having lunch, everyone went back to the cabins. The girls were having a party, except for Izzy who didn't feel like celebrating and Gwen who walked out in the middle of it. She saw Trent leaning by a tree and walked over. "Geoff's performance made me realize some stuff", he said. "Like, I've loved, lost, but what I miss most... is my sweet little goat Gwen." Gwen smiled. "Baaa!" She started laughing and Trent kissed her. "Sorry about the Lindsay thing from earlier, and always bugging you and Duncan. I just... I get jealous, you know? I've lost things. I don't wanna lose you too." Gwen hugged him. "Don't worry, he's not coming between us. We're just friends." "You sure?" Gwen nodded. "You're the one wearing my necklace, aren't you?" He smiled.

Then, Chris turned on the intercom. "Okay, everyone, there's been a situation and I've decided to change the results of the last challenge. I'll explain at the gilded Chris ceremony. Gaffers, one of you is going home tonight." Gwen let go of Trent and went up to a tree. She hit her head against it. "You have got to be kidding me!", she yelled. Trent sighed.

That night, the Gaffers went to the stadium. Chris walked out, with Chef behind him carrying the gilded Chris statues. He walked up to the podium and looked at the cast members, who were glaring at him. "Okay, I know I owe you an explanation", he said. "but before that I'd like to ask Chef here why he thought making a pact with DJ was a good idea." Chris turned to Chef, who backed away. "Uh, I have no idea what you're talking about", he said. Chris narrowed his eyes. "You do know it's my job to watch all the confession cam videos, right?" "Uh... no." "Well did you at least know we have a camera on every camper at all times during challenges?" "No." Chris sighed. "Well we do. I know what you did, Chef. You cried during Geoff's act just so DJ's team would win. I can't let you get away with that", he said. Then he turned to DJ. "You're not gonna be kicked off since Chef forced you into it, but you and the others have to vote someone off now. So, get your voting devices and make your decision."

The campers voted and were done in a few seconds. "Okay, the results are in", Chris said. "Gilded Chris awards go to... Gwen, DJ, Harold, Geoff, Bridgette and... Heather." Heather sighed, and Duncan crossed his arms. "Oh, great. I'm out. Well, see ya later, Gwen." She waved goodbye as he walked to the limo and hopped in. Then, the other Gaffers went back to the trailers.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4: Flaws

A few days later, the cast members were getting breakfast while waiting for Chris. Heather got her food and stared at it. "Now I know how starlets stay thin", she said. "Wish Chef would let me in the kitchen", Harold told her, "I've got me some mad culinary skills." Heather ignored him and sat down at her team's table. At the other table, Cody and Lindsay were feeding each other and Trent spilled salt all over his scrambled eggs. He sighed, picked a handful of it up and threw it over his shoulder, hitting Heather in the face. "Well, nothing a little pepper won't fix..." He poured some pepper on the eggs but the lid fell off and it all poured out. He picked a handful up and threw it over his shoulder, hitting Heather again. She started running around and sneezing, while Lindsay and Cody laughed. Gwen came over and hugged him. "Sorry about your breakfast. If you want, I'll trade you mine." Trent shook his head. "No, it's fine. Besides, I've got nine pieces left, so that's good." Gwen smirked. "You're lucky I like weird guys", she said.

Then, Chris walked in with sunglasses on and carrying a surf board. "Hang onto your coconuts, players, cause we're going back to the beach!" Bridgette gasped. "Oh my gosh, this is gonna be awesome!" She, Geoff and Owen cheered. "Ever seen one of those fifties era surfer movies where they kids get up to neato fun before the big bonfire twist-athon, and the bully kicks the sand castle in the nerdy guy's face?" Bridgette raised her hand, and the others just looked at Chris. "Well at least that's one of you. Today we're gonna recreate one. Two challenges, followed by a tie breaker if necessary. So, grab your swimsuits!"

The cast members got changed and then followed Chris to a building which had its AC cranked up. They stood shivering while Lindsay tried to apply sunscreen. "When did you move the beach to Antarctica?", she asked. "As some of you can see", Chris said, "we're actually in the shooting studio. All the cameras and lights get so hot they need the AC on, and my agent says 'sweaty' isn't a good look for me. Your challenge: hang ten this deck into the big blue without swallowing tail in the soup." "Talk normally!", Eva yelled. Bridgette rolled her eyes. "He means we need to stay on the board and not fall into the water tank." "Exactamundo, groovy cats!", Chris said. "The team that wins will get a half hour head start on the next challenge, and given tonight's reward, you should be fighting really hard over who gets that head start. So, who's goin' first?" Bridgette ran up. "Me, pick me! I love surfing!" "Alright then, get on the board."

Bridgette climbed up and balanced on it, on one leg. "And, here's some season one fan favorites: the sharks!" A pair of sharks jumped up to bite Bridgette, but she dodge them. "Whoa, seriously!" They tried to attack a few more times, but she kept avoiding them. "How long do I have to do this!" "As long as you can, Bridgette!", Chris said. She stayed on the board another ten minutes before jumping off. "Okay, that's long enough." Her team applauded. Trent sighed, pulled out Gwen's necklace and kissed it nine times. "Okay, we can still do this..." Eva walked up to Cody. "What's the deal with Trent?" "Heck if I know. Guess he really likes that necklace." Next up was Lindsay. She stayed on the board for a minute, but then Chef turned on some giant fans and she got blown off the board. DJ lost his swim trunks to the sharks on his turn, and Owen broke the board during his. He fell in the pool, launching the sharks into the air. "Oh, sorry shark dudes!", he yelled. "Reeeeally sorry!"

Next up was Harold's turn, while the sharks were on their break. "Sweet", he said, "my mad surfing skills can be used to their full potential now!" Then, Chris got a seagull Gatling gun and began shooting at Harold. He dodged the birds, karate chopping a few of them, until Chris ran out of ammo. Last up was Eva. Chris got some more ammo for his gun and started launching the birds at her, but she punched them all away. "Ha! Is that all you got?" But, she lost her balance and fell into the water. Lindsay gasped. "Oh my gosh, is she gonna be okay?" She got her answer when Eva hurled a shark out of the tank. Her team cheered and Chris applauded. "Beating up a shark? Very cool", he said. "But, thanks to Bridgette and Harold, the Gaffers win this round." They cheered and the Grips groaned. Trent pulled out the necklace again and shook it a few times. "Five six seven eight nine..." "Excuse me?", Owen said. "Four five six seven eight nine!" "You're being really weird, bro." Trent glared at him. "If being weird brings us good luck then, yeah, I'm weird. Besides... Gwen likes weird."

Then, the campers took a bus and then a boat to their second location: the island from last season. "Yes campers, we're actually back at your old stomping grounds", Chris said. "If you need to take a moment and reminisce about the great times you had here..." Everyone started laughing. Chris frowned. "Fine, we'll skip the good memories montage. Screaming Gaffers, you've got a thirty minute head start on the sand castle building contest, to be judged by our resident king of the dunes, Chef." Chef put a sand castle hat on his head. "Make like prop masters, guys, and give me something awesome. I really don't want the tie breaker to have to go down... don't think legal's quite approved it yet."

The Gaffers got to work, with Harold giving orders. "DJ, get wetter sand for the castle! Bridgette, pack it firmer!" After working for a while, he stood up to admire the impressive results. "Now how 'bout some props for my fine buttresses?", he said. Geoff chuckled. Then, Chef pulled out a trumpet and played it. "Screaming Gaffers, your thirty minute lead is up. So, Grips, get castling." Owen yelled "Water! We need water!" He ran around screaming and Trent yelled "Quiet! We need a plan, and I've got one." They got building. "Yeah that's right, nine towers, nine doors, Cody- add one more moat so we have-" "Nine, I know." A hermit crab crawled over and Lindsay picked it up. She drew a Killer Grip symbol on it with nail polish and put it on the castle. "Now we have a flag!" Izzy pulled off part of her dressed, tied it to a stick and shoved it in the castle. "And now we have a better one! I hereby claim this castle for the great nation of Escopia! All hail queen E-Scope!"

Meanwhile, Harold finished the Gaffers' castle. "The Taj Maharold. Perfect!" The others admired it. Back at the Grips side, Trent was making eight hermit crab flags. "Dude, we already have a flag, you can stop with the nine thing. Come on, you're gonna break it!" Trent laughed. "No way, just one more and it's perfect!" He put it in and the castle collapsed. Cody sighed. "We're doomed." Eva pulled off her wrist bands. "How 'bout we use these to hold it up?" "It's a sand castle building contest", Cody said. Eva glared at him. "He said to make like prop masters, so let's make like stinking prop masters! Anyone got a problem with that!" Everyone shook their heads. "Good!"

_Confession Cam: Eva_

"_Trent's a decent guy, if a bit crazy, but he's no leader. It's a good thing I can take charge, otherwise there'd be no way we could win. Those guys owe me, majorly." _

They finished it and Trent check it over. "Nine of everything... great. I dub thee 'Casa dos Gwen.'" Gwen watched this from her team's side. "Now he's naming buildings after me? I think Trent's obsessed... wait. Last season he told me he ran out of his meds on the island. He didn't forget to bring them this season, did he?" Bridgette walked up and put her hand on Gwen's shoulder. "Hey, calm down. He's gonna be alright, just you worry..." They waved at Trent, and he waved back nine times. Bridgette facepalmed. "Okay, maybe not." Meanwhile a flock of seagulls came and landed on the Gaffers' castle. Harold ran up and tried to shoo them away. "No, there's birds in my belfry!" DJ kicked at them and they flew off, but the castle collapsed. "Dang, DJ, you busted my buttresses!" "Sorry..." Chris smiled. "We have a winner! Eva's plan and the Grips' castle win this round, which means we need a tie breaker. One that's legal... hmm." Chris scratched his chin for a minute, then smiled. "Gather some wood, campers, for a fire of the bon variety.

Trent ran into Gwen in the forest while looking for wood. "Hey! How's it going? I feel like it's been ages since we had any, you know, quality time together." "Yeah, I know..." Gwen looked away. "I kinda wanna talk to you about- are you carrying nine sticks?" Trent nodded. "Of course! It's my lucky number." Gwen began backing away. "Listen Trent, I'd love to stay and chat, but I really gotta go help my team. See ya!" She ran off, leaving Trent behind. He sighed. "There's gotta be something I can do to make her happy... but what?"

After sundown, it was time for the challenge. They came back to the beach and there was already a bonfire set up. "Why did you send us out to get firewood?", Heather asked. Chris glared and thrust his hand at her. "I needed some alone time. You think these hands manicure themselves? Anyway, the tie breaking challenge: an old school dancing contest! Teams, choose your best warrior for battle!" Bridgette ran up. "Ooh, how about me? I know a lot of surfer dances!" Gwen nodded. "You go for it, girl." "I vote for Trent", Lindsay said. Trent looked at his team. "Really?" They shrugged and nodded. "Sure, why not? But only if you guys say my name nine times", he said. They sighed and did so.

Chris turned on a boombox and the dancers walked up to each other. "May the best dancer win", Trent said. Bridgette smiled. "Don't worry, I will." They both started dancing. Trent did okay, but Bridge's old school moves left the other teens staring in confusion.

_Confession Cam: Heather_

"_I'm trying to tone down my insult level, but this time I just can't. Those lame surfer moves are NOT made for land. That was total flop. I know ballet, so I know I'm right when I say she's a balleri-no. Get some new tricks, Bridgette."_

Trent kept dancing and the Grips cheered him on. He looked at Gwen, and she looked away. He looked at Cody, and Cody shrugged.

_Confession Cam: Trent_

"_Most people like winning. So, Gwen probably wants to win, and if Gwen wants to win, why is it unethical for me to help her? I'm Trent first and a Killer Grip second... Oh, can we erase that?" _

Trent started moonwalking and tripped on a stick 'by accident.' The Grips gasped. "Dude, get up!", Eva yelled. He tried, but fell back down. "Ah, I think I sprained my ankle!" Chris shook his head. "Well that's just sad. Looks like the challenge is over! Bridgette and the Screaming Gaffers win! And your reward: the greatest beach party ever!" The Gaffers cheered. Trent stood up and looked at Gwen, who smiled and motioned for him to follow her to the woods.

"Congrats on winning", he said. "How do you feel?" "Pretty good", Gwen said. "You know, you're a really good dancer." Trent chuckled. "Yeah? You like that?" He moonwalked over to her. "Your ankle seems better." "I'm weird like that", he said. "You sure are." They both leaned in for a kiss, but then Owen popped out from behind a tree. "You guys gonna make out now?" They responded by hurling sticks at him. They went back to the beach, where the Gaffers were already partying. Chris walked up to Trent and the Grips. "Well, we're staying here tonight, so you guys just have to watch your rivals gorge on victory. And poi!" They ignored Chris and went to the edge of the beach, where Owen started eating their sand castle. "How is it, Omar?", Lindsay asked. "Eh, I've had worse." He kept eating while Eva looked at him. "I'm not sure who has more issues here. You, Lindsay, or Trent."

Back at the bonfire, Heather danced over toward Harold. "Hey", she said. "Hey", Harold replied. "I was wondering... what would you think of joining my alliance this season?" Harold smiled. "Sounds great, milady!" Heather smirked. "Perfect... now I just need to find one more."


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5: Brokebones Mountin'

The next day was an unusually hot and humid one. The cast members were all trying to stay in the shade outside, since the trailers had no AC. Harold was still inside, but at the window. "Too hot... to do... anythuhhh..."

_Confession Cam: Harold_

"_My mad skills are leeching out of me. I can feel it. My mojo isn't sweat proof!"_

Cody and Lindsay reclined on the ground, under the sun, trying to get tans. Cody was just getting a sunburn. "Ah, Lindsay? Do you think it's been long enough?", he asked. Lindsay groaned. "Uh... yeah, maybe... let's crawl over by that tree, Jody..." They did so, and Izzy waved down from the branches. "Hey guys, how's the weather down there?" "Terrible", Cody told her. Over by a bush, Gwen started sniffling. "I can't be getting a cold in this heat..." She sneezed, and Trent passed her his water bottle. "You're the only girl I'd risk catching some heinous virus from", he said. "Haha, that's, uh... sweet, Trent, thanks. It's probably just allergies, but why the heck would there be eucalyptus around here?" Trent shrugged. Gwen took a sip and handed the water bottle back to Trent, who wiped the lid off nine times.

_Confession Cam: Trent_

"_Sweet, think I just scored a few extra bonus points!"_

_Confession Cam: Gwen_

"_And we're down to zero on the relationship scale. Not that anyone but Trent is counting..."_

Chris moseyed over to the trailers, wearing a cowboy hat and holding some revolvers. He fired a shot into the air and the cast members all looked toward him. Eva yelled "Chris, what the heck was that for! You could've just said hi or something!" "Take it easy", he said, "guns are loaded with blanks... at least I'm pretty sure one of them is." "I sent a man to the hospital by firing a blank at him once", Eva said. "Huh... okay then. Well, since there's no beatin' the heat, we're goin' west this week! There's a town meetin' at high noon! Be there, or I'll drive ya deadbeats outta town!" Lindsay gasped. "If you're driving us outta town, can we go to the mall?"

_Confession Cam: Cody_

"_Yeah, Linday's normally not that bright, but I'm worried the heat is gonna fry what's left of her brain if it doesn't fry me first. How does she handle this tanning thing? I'm turning into bacon!"_

The cast members grudgingly followed Chris to the wild west set. One of the tumbleweed props caught on fire. "Listen up, partners", Chris said, "in any good western there are heroes, outlaws, horses, and pretty dames. The hero defeats the outlaw and, then rides off into the sunset on the horse." "What about the pretty dame?", Lindsay asked. "They usually hang out in the saloon during the bar brawl." Harold smiled. "Bar brawl, cool!" He began practicing some martial arts moves, and Geoff tripped him. He landed in a trough. "Awesome reenactment, Harold", Geoff said. "You got the ending perfect." Heather helped him out. "You okay?" Harold nodded.

"Okay, all eyes on me", Chris said. He fired two shots into the air. "Time for your first challenge! No cowboy worth spittin' at would go one day without saddle practice. Time to saddle up!" Everyone turned to the only nearby horse. "That's the best steed we could afford?", Chris asked. "You want shellfish and champagne and caviar for breakfast? I gotta cut expenses somewhere", Chef said. "It's perfect! Don't change a thing", Chris told him.

_Confession Cam: Geoff_

"_Yeehaw! Now this is my kind of challenge! I may be from a coastal town, but I love westerns, as you can probably tell by lookin' at my hat. I am so gonna win this!"_

_Confession Cam: Trent_

"_Who says a western has to end with a guy and his horse? This is the movies! The guy always gets the girl, which means I'm gonna get Gwen."_

Geoff walked up to the horse, which was standing in the middle of a bullseye on the ground. He laughed. "You call this a challenge?" "Not so fast", Chris said, "you cowboys and cowbabes are gonna have to mount the steed from up there." He pointed to the top of a nearby water tower. "No, not there. Waaaaaay up there!" He pointed farther up, to the top of a diving board attached to the tower. "Since the Gaffers won last time, they go first. Don't worry, our unpaid interns have assured us it's safe." Gwen sneezed. "Guys, I really think I'm coming down with something", she said. "Don't worry", said Geoff, "we'll help you up the ladder." Trent walked up to them. "Uh, guys, Gwen really is sick. In her condition she'd probably fall right off the platform and hurt herself!" Geoff rolled his eyes. "Oh calm down, she's gonna be fine." Gwen frowned. "Well... wish me luck..." The Gaffers cheered her on and she went up to the ladder. She climbed up to the top and looked over the edge. "Break a leg, Gwen!", Trent yelled.

_Confession Cam: Gwen_

"_Break a leg! That's what Trent says to me as I'm about to plummet a hundred feet!"_

_Confession Cam: Trent_

"_...Stupid!" He smacked himself in the head nine times._

"I can't do it!", she said. She turned around and started walking, but sneezed and blew herself backwards off the diving board. She screamed, fell and landed perfectly on the horse. "You okay, Gwen?", Bridgette asked. She fell off the horse. Trent ran over to help her up. She smiled. "Uh, thanks, just watch my left OWW, ARM!" Trent facepalmed. "Sorry, sorry!" Chris laughed. "Wow, that was awesome, Gwen! Gaffers win one point. Grips, you're up." Trent went up to the diving board, jumped off and landed with a wooden post hitting him between the legs. Harold jumped next and landed safely, but Geoff jumped next and landed on top of him. Chris gave him a thumbs up. "Way to pad the saddle, Geoff!" "I think you broke my spine!", Harold said. Next, Owen tried to jump onto the horse, but it ran away. He chased after it, caught it and hopped on. "Nice effort, Owen", Chris said, "but I'm afraid that's against the rules. Gaffers, you're up again." DJ tried to safely fall down using a piece of cloth, but got blown over to some electrical wires and got shocked. Bridgette walked up to Chris. "Um, you are gonna send someone to help DJ, right?" Chris just laughed at her. Cody tried to jump next, but missed the horse and landed on the ground, screaming. "Oh, my skin! Ouch!" Next was Lindsay. "If I go to that big beauty parlor in the sky, don't let Heather have my clothes, okay?" Eva nodded and Lindsay went up the ladder. Next was Eva and Izzy. "Look out below!", Eva yelled. "Banzai!", Izzy shrieked. They jumped. Eva landed on the horse, but Izzy landed right behind it. "Oh, my head! That was great!", she said.

"Okay, the teams are now tied at three each", Chris said. "Girls, it's up to you to break it. Who wants to take one for the Gaffers?" Heather raised her hand. "I'll do it." She went up the ladder and jumped, but went a little too far and didn't come down. "Where'd she go?", Gwen asked. "Way up there", Chris said. He pointed up to Heather, hanging by her shorts from a lightning rod. "Can someone gimme a hand?", Heather asked. "No way! Get yourself down, slacker!", Chris told her. She grumbled and tried to pull herself off the lightning rod, and finally got down. "Well, at least that humiliation is over", she said. Behind her, Chris started laughing. "Yeah, but a whole new one has just begun!" Heather turned and saw a hole had been torn in her shorts. She blushed and ran away.

_Confession Cam: Harold_

"_Wow... that's a side of Heather I never thought I'd see."_

"Okay Bridgette, you're up", Chris said. She nodded and climbed up to the diving board. "Okay", she told herself, "it's just like at the pool. Just a nice, simple dive down..." She ran off the board and fell, landing stomach side down on the horse. "Owww... oh, I did it! Right?" Chris nodded and the Gaffers cheered. "Okay, time for part two! This one is an old west style showdown. Captains will pick their strongest cowpoke to compete in what will likely be a fight to the death!" Suddenly Chris got a phone call. He answered it. "Hello? What, really? Oh come on! ...Fine." He hung up. "Our lawyers have informed me that you may shoot until someone is mildly injured or cries like a little baby, but a fight to the death is strictly prohibited. Time to pick your cowboys!" Trent scratched his head and looked at his team. "The Grips choose... Owen."

_Confession Cam: Gwen_

"_What is he doing, throwing challenges for me? I don't wanna win this way!"_

_Confession Cam: Trent_

"_Finally I think I did good today... man, girls are complicated."_

"What? You wanna use Owen for target practice? He's a guaranteed hit!", Cody said. Lindsay hugged him. "Oh come on, have some trust in your teammates. I'm sure he'll do fine." Over by the saloon, Owen was drinking out of some water guns. Chris walked up to him, pouting. "Owen, we needed that water for the quick draw cowboy showdown!", he said. Owen burped. "Sorry, I was thirsty." "Okay, new challenge!", Chris said. He led the cast members over to a field.

"Since Owen ruined my last idea, your next challenge will be calf roping. "Where are the cute little baby cows at?", DJ asked. "There aren't any. Grips are the cowboys, Gaffers are the cattle. The cowboys rope the cattle and they win. The cattle dodge the cowboys, and THEY win. Grips get to wear these stylin' cowboy hats, and Gaffers get to wear udders!" Trent smiled. "I bet you'll look cute with it, Gwen. Udderly adorable!", he said. Geoff sighed. "Wish I could keep my cowboy hat on instead."

_Confession Cam: Harold_

"_Heheh, I have cow boobies on my head!"_

_Confession Cam: Izzy_

"_This is awesome, I always wanted to be a cowboy! I know that's kinda weird, since I'm a girl and I should wanna be a cowgirl, but if I were that I'd wanna actually be part cow, so yeah, cowboy it is. Wish we got to shoot animals instead of roping up the Gaffers though."_

"Chef will now judge the competition", Chris said. "Yo, Chef! Or should I say, Chef-Ette?" Chef walked in glaring at Chris and wearing a pink dress. Chris and the cast members laughed. Chef growled and tied Chris to a post. "Maybe when I change, I'll come back and untie you", Chef said. He walked away in a huff. "I can't feel my arms!", Chris said. He sighed. "Okay, let the calf roping begin." The Gaffers ran off and the Grips chased them. Izzy caught Heather first. "Yeah, one down already! I'm on fire!" Heather groaned. "In this heat, we all are." Cody tried to catch DJ, but failed. Lindsay tried to catch Bridgette, but her rope got caught on a post and she tied herself up by accident. "None of this would be happening if Chris had taken me to the mall like he promised!", she yelled. Cody sighed and came over to untie her. Elsewhere, Gwen and Trent bumped into each other. Gwen shrugged and held still so Trent could tie her up, but he tossed his rope away. "Aww shoot, so close!", he said. Gwen glared and growled at him.

_Confession Cam: Gwen_

"_Okay, that's it. If he's gonna baby me just because I have a cold, or is gonna let me win because I'm his girlfriend, this isn't gonna work out. I'm an equal, not someone in need of help."_

_Confession Cam: Trent_

"_What kind of girl doesn't like it when a dude helps her out? Holds a door, opens a pickle jar, helps her win a million dollar competition..."_

Lindsay walked over to Trent, who was sitting on a rock, and threw her lasso over him. "Gotcha, cowboy!", she said. "Lindsay, I'm on your team. Rope the cattle! You know, the people with udders?" She laughed. "You're funny." Meanwhile, the Gaffers ran by Chris and took the ropes that were tying him up. They chased down the Grips and tied them up, though it took four of them to get Eva down. She growled at them. "Just you wait until I break these things, and then you're gonna pay!", she yelled. Geoff laughed. "Oh yeah?" She growled and tried stretching the ropes. She broke one, and the Gaffers ran away screaming. Chris walked up to the Grips. "Well, what do we have here? The cattle have roped the cowboys! Well, that's two wins for the Gaffers now, so they win today." They cheered while the Grips got untied by Chef. "You Grips are losers. And you know what happens to losers?" Chris walked over to a fire and pulled out a branding iron. "Who wants to take the heat?" They ran away, except Trent. "Got anything in a G?", he asked.

_Confession Cam: Gwen_

"_And, he's officially wandered into 'obsessive boyfriend' territory. Well... now to break the news to him."_

"Legal team says branding is out", Chris told him. "Guess I'll have to settle for booting one of the Grips off in the most exciting gilded Chris ceremony yet! Now, go shower! You stink!" Most of them went to clean off in a barrel by the saloon, but Gwen and Trent went to the communal washroom instead. Trent finished second, and came out to find Gwen waiting for him. "What happened to bathing in a barrel with the rest of your team?", she asked. "I figured I'd made enough of a fool of myself today." Gwen sighed and looked down. "Trent, we need to talk." "Aww, please tell me this isn't what I think it is", he said. Gwen frowned and turned away. "It's what you think it is." "I told you not to tell me that!" Gwen walked up to Trent and patted his shoulder. "Trent, you're a great guy, I mean that, but this isn't working." "Is this because I offered to brand myself with a G?" "No... well yes, but it's not just that. Your OCD thing is getting out of hand, and now you've been throwing challenges for me, and I need to win this fair and square, okay?" "What are you saying?", Trent asked. "It's over. I'm sorry." Trent sighed. "I hear you loud and clear." Gwen kissed his cheek. "No hard feelings, okay? We can still be friends, but maybe if we're not together you won't have to throw challenges." Trent nodded. "Yeah, sure." Meanwhile, Eva crept up behind the washroom building. She looked at Trent and growled.

_Confession Cam: Eva_

"_That's it. I'm taking charge now. That traitor is gonna pay dearly for screwing my team over!"_

Gwen arrived back at the trailers to see the other five Killer Grips waiting for her. Eva walked over and raised Gwen up by her shirt. "Tell them what I heard you guys talking about at the washroom or I'm gonna pound your face in!", she said. "W-what do you mean?" Eva let Gwen down and punched her. She fell to the ground. "Oww!" Lindsay and Izzy gasped. Eva turned to them. "Trent's been throwing challenges for Gwen!", she said. Lindsay gasped again. "Gwen would never let Trent do that, ever!", she said. "Right, Gwen?" Gwen got up and Eva growled at her again. Gwen sighed. "Look, he did it without talking to me about it. I figured it out after he chose Owen for the showdown challenge", she said. "Why should we believe you?", Eva asked her. "Because I broke up with Trent." "You're gonna pay for this! Both of you!", Eva yelled. She turned back to her team. "Tonight we're gonna vote that traitor off! And then, Gwen's gonna do whatever we say, or she won't be finishing any more challenges here! Anyone disagree!" The Killer Grips backed away.

After sundown, the Killer Grips went to the stadium and voted. "The votes have been cast", Chris said. "If you get a gilded Chris, it means you're safe. For now." Chef walked in, back in his normal clothes, carrying the statues. "What happened to your dress?", Chris asked. Chef glared at him. "Meh. The gilded Chris statues go to... Lindsay and Izzy, Owen and Cody, and last but not least, Eva." "What? This has to be a mistake!", Trent said. "No it isn't", Eva told him. "Now get lost, traitor!" "But I can't leave without saying goodbye to Gwen!" Eva growled, picked him up and carried him to the limo. "GWEN!" Eva forced him into the limo and slammed the door. It drove off and she walked back to her team. "That takes care of one problem", she said. "One more to go..."


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6: Aftermath 1

It's the Total Drama Action Aftermath Show! The cameras turned on to show the applauding studio audience, then zoomed in on Noah and Beth on the couch in the middle of the stage. Beth waved at the camera. "Hi there, viewers! Welcome to the brand new, totally exciting TDA Aftermath show!" The audience cheered. Noah sighed. "Yes, in his attempt to exploit us as much as possible, Chris has forced us rejects to host a talk show while the others compete in the second season of Total Drama. Beth and I are hosting this time." "This is where the real action is", Beth said. "The behind the scenes action, anyway. Now we get to hang with the TDA competitors who get voted off, see how they feel about it, and show some deleted scenes." Noah nodded. "So, some quick questions. You guys liking this season so far?" The audience cheered. "Cool. So, there's been enough drama and enough action?" They cheered even louder.

"Hey! Aren't you forgetting something?", Justin yelled. "No, we're ignoring you", Noah said. Beth slapped his shoulder. "Noah, don't be rude!" She turned and waved at the others, who were sitting on some bleachers nearby. "Everyone, say hello to the old Total Drama campers! Justin, Ezekiel, Courtney, Katie, Sadie, and Tyler!" They smiled and waved at the cameras while the audience cheered. "Yo, wassup, my peeps?", Ezekiel asked. Katie and Sadie waved energetically. "Hi mom, hi dad!" "Mom, I'm on TV again!" "We've also got a ton of texts and emails from the viewers", Beth said. "We're even gonna have some of you live on webcam! Cool, huh?" Noah nodded. "Yes, and we're also going to have Leshawna and Duncan here, and our latest loser, Trent." The audience cheered. Beth sighed. "Yeah, poor Trent. What happened to him was so sad." "We felt so terrible for Trent", Sadie said. "Like, he went nuttier than my sister's peanut allergy!" "But he's still super cute", Katie said. Noah grumbled. "Why do the musicians get all the fangirls?", he asked himself.

"It's almost time for our first guest", Beth said, "but first, take a look." The TV screen above them began playing clips of Leshawna's time on the show. "Leshawna's time on TDA may have been short, but I'm sure she had fun on the show. Facing a giant robot monster, playing in a bounce house, and seeing a bunch of film sets in person... wish I could've been there!", she said. "For one reason or another, Leshawna was the first to go this season", Noah said. "And now we get to ask her how it feels. So, here she is!" Leshawna walked in and waved at the audience. "What's up, everybody? How're y'all doin'?" "Have a seat, Leshawna", Noah said. She sat down on the couch on Noah's right. "Hey Beth, Hey Noah. Glad to be here", she said. "Glad you could join us", Noah said. "Sorry it had to be so soon, though. You made it pretty far last season, how's it feel to be the first one voted out this time?", he asked. "It must be terrible", Beth said.

Leshawna sighed. "Yeah, I sure wish I could've at least lasted until we picked teams", she said. "I mean, Ezekiel was first to leave last season, and he made it that far. Why not me?" "He probably thinks it's because you're a girl", Noah said. Ezekiel stood up and yelled. "No way, bro! I'm a changed man! I told Beth I wouldn't be mean to girls anymore, right?" Beth nodded. "Yeah, he did. No more sexist junk." Noah cleared his throat. "Yeah, so, back to you. Your friend Gwen just broke up with her boyfriend and now Eva's out to get her. You worried about her?" Leshawna nodded. "Course I'm worried about Gwen. If muscle girl tries to mess with her, I'm gonna have to pay her back tenfold", she said. Noah smirked. "So you aren't too worried about Eva hurting her?" Leshawna shook her head and Noah picked up a remote control from the table in front of him. "Not even if I show you this?"

Noah hit a button and a video recording of Eva appeared on the TV screen. She was holding some dumbbells and striking a punching bag with Gwen's face on it. "That little rat is going down, down, down! No one messes with my team or my victory and gets away with it!" She punched the Gwen face and ripped a hole through the punching bag. Then, the video ended. Leshawna was staring wide-eyed at the screen, while Noah laughed. "Yeah, just wait til she gets her hands on that goth girl", he said. "That's gonna be tragic! Great TV, though." Beth and Leshawna glared at him. "You better stop laughing before I whoop your ass, Noah", Leshawna said. Noah rolled his eyes. "Oh please, getting beat up is part of my daily routine at school. You don't scare me." "Hey, let's play a little game!", Beth said. "You know, to ease the tension. It's called Truth or Hammer. We ask you a question, and if you give us the wrong answer, you get hit with a big wooden hammer. So all you have to do is be honest!" Leshawna smiled. "Sounds easy enough."

"Okay, first question", Beth said. "Season two started so well for you. Where did things go wrong?" "Probably when Chef got involved", Leshawna answered. "First he uses his military training to mess with us in the alien challenge, and then he tried to form that alliance with DJ? Not cool." "Let's hear from a viewer now", Beth said. "Bluepunks 350 asks: Do you think the Gaffers are gonna vote Gwen off?" "Why would they? It was Trent who was throwing challenges", Leshawna said. "True, but not everyone knows that", Noah said. "It's not like anyone but Eva actually saw Gwen and Trent talk about it." Leshawna groaned. "Oh boy..."

"Well, let's move on to Duncan", Noah said. The TV screen began playing clips of Duncan from TDI and TDA. "In my opinion that criminal should never have been on this show", Noah said. "Then again, he was good at stirring up drama, so perhaps it was worth it." "I can't tell whether Duncan's a total jerk or secretly a nice guy", Beth said. "Sure, he's a criminal, but he helped DJ with the Bunny incident..." "He also flat-out said he'd go for the win instead of helping his girlfriend in a challenge", Noah said. Beth shrugged. "Well, either way, he's a pretty cool guy. And, here he is!" Duncan walked up from backstage over to the couches, and took a seat next to Leshawna as the audience cheered.

He waved over at the bleachers. "Hey, Courtney!", he yelled, "What's up?" She crossed her arms and turned away. Duncan smirked. "She digs me", he said. Noah laughed. "Yeah, sure she does. So, Duncan, how goes it?" Duncan shrugged. "Same as usual", he said. "Before you even ask, yeah, it sucks to be voted off so early. So what? At least I made it INTO second season, unlike you losers." Noah glared at him. "Yeah, whatever. It's not like the show was that great to begin with. Putting up with you guys, dealing with Chris, all those physical challenges-" "Which is why you got voted off last season", Duncan said. "Didn't even try in the dodgeball one." Noah facepalmed. "Look at me. Do I look like I can throw a ball? I have sticks for arms, and my legs are too short for me to run very fast. I'd be a waste of space on a dodgeball court", Noah said. "Besides, why'd you get voted off?" "Because the others didn't wanna have to deal with me after the merge, I bet", Duncan replied. Noah smirked. "Yeah, that totally explains why you got voted out as soon as your team had to eliminate someone. I think it's just because you're a pain in the ass and they didn't like you." They started glaring at each other while Beth backed away.

"Yeah, bet you know how that feels, slacker", Duncan said. "At least I'm still popular at home. I'm class president at my high school, while you probably spend all your time in detention!", Noah yelled. Duncan stood up and stepped toward Noah, who picked up the remote control and hit a button. A giant hammer swung down from the ceiling and hit Duncan, knocking him over. Beth gasped, ran over and took the remote away. Noah glared at her. "Let's just stop before you guys kill each other", Beth said. Noah crossed his arms and glared at Duncan. "Fine." "Fine", Duncan said. "So, should we move on to Trent?", Beth asked. The audience cheered in response. "Okay, okay!"

"Trent is such a stand-up guy, he did not deserve what happened, right?", Beth asked. "Oh, totally not", Sadie said. "Oh come on, he just lost his girlfriend and a chance at a million bucks", Noah said. "Why is that so bad?" "You don't get it because you weren't even in this season", Beth said. "And you've probably never HAD a girlfriend." Noah looked away. "What does that have to do with it? Besides, he got voted off because of Eva, not because of his relationship issues.", Noah said. "The others wouldn't have voted him off if Gwen hadn't talked to Trent to make him stop throwing challenges in the first place", Beth said. "So in a way it is her fault." Duncan laughed. "I think it's his. The dude went loco, his girlfriend dumped him for acting so weird. He got himself into this mess", said Duncan. Noah glared at him. "No one asked you!" He grabbed the remote from Beth and hit the hammer button again. Duncan got hit and was sent flying. Noah laughed. "Oh, this is fun. More than makes up for not competing this season."

"So, which side are you guys on?", Noah asked. "Team Gwen, because it makes sense for her to break up with a crazy person, or team Trent, because he was just trying to help his girlfriend despite his instability?" The audience was equally divided. "I'm on team Gwen myself", Duncan said. "Trent screwed up." "Aww, but Trent's such a sweetheart!", Beth said. "I'm totally on his team." Noah rolled his eyes. "I'm on team neutral", he said. "This whole argument is ridiculous. What about you guys?" Sadie raised her hand. "I'm totally on team Trent", she said. "Me too", Katie added. "That poor guy, losing his girlfriend like that." "I'm on team Gwen", Courtney said. "Not because I like her, but because Trent is a loser- by choice!" "I'm with Courtney, eh", Ezekiel said. "Gwen's totally the bomb, and a wicked tough chick, too." Tyler looked at him. "Dude, stop talking like that." Noah sighed. "Stupid rabid fans."

"Okay, time to talk to Trent!", Beth announced. Trent walked up from backstage, carrying his guitar, while the audience cheered. Leshawna and Duncan left the couch so Trent could sit down, and he did. "Hey, Trent", Beth said. "Sorry about what happened on the show." Trent sighed. "It's cool, it's not your fault..." "How'd you get to this point, Trent?", Noah asked. "Well, I'm not really sure. Things were going going great until Gwen and I were put on different teams. Then she and Duncan started hanging out... Then the competition set in." "And you completely lost it", Noah said. "Care to explain that? Oh, and we're gonna be doing the Truth or Hammer thing, so be honest unless you don't mind some broken ribs." Trent looked away and scratched his head. "I guess somewhere along the line I decided Gwen was more important than the money." Noah smirked. "Ah, that's a classic", he said. Beth, Katie and Sadie went "Awww..." "Yeah, but I guess I lost my game", Trent continued. "I really let my team down. Sorry, Grips", he said. "Yeah, they can't hear you, genius", Noah said. "Plus, I don't think Eva would really wanna listen." Trent shrugged. "Yeah, good point."

"So, what's with the number nine thing?", Beth asked. Trent sighed. "Well, you see... I have OCD. I can usually keep it under control, but when I can't, I get really compulsive about things. I feel terrible unless I do them the 'right' amount of times... and there's a reason it's nine times. I had this toy train my grandad gave me as a kid. Right before he died, one of the wheels fell off so there were only nine. I was devastated, so my mom told me nine was now my lucky number." Everyone except Noah went "Awww..." Noah raised an eyebrow and asked "So what made you lose control so early this season? You were fine in TDI until right before you got voted off..." "We only had a two day break between seasons. I didn't have time to get a refill for my prescription before TDA started", Trent explained. "Aww, I'm sure Gwen will understand once she finds out", Beth said.

"Time to hear from a viewer", Noah said. "Snowgirl asks: Trent, what kind of girl are you into?" Noah facepalmed. "Oh, for crying out loud..." Trent blushed. "It was a girl like Gwen. Guess I'm gonna have to find a new type." Katie and Sadie raised their hands. "Pick me, Trent!" "No, me!", they yelled. Trent shook his head. "No, I like girls who are more down to earth- and who have their own style, not copying their friends." "What about Bridgette?", Beth asked. "Well she's friends with Gwen, that'd be kinda awkward." "I think it'd be worth it", Noah said. "She seems nice." "Time to check in on our webcams", Beth said. "We've got Ginger from Sudbury. What's up, Ginger?" The TV turned on and showed Ginger waving at the screen. "Trent, I'd love it if you went psycho crazy over me!", she said. Noah groaned and facepalmed again. Trent looked upset. "Uh, didn't I just explain that the going crazy isn't normal?", he asked. "Okay, we've also got... Steve the Yeti?" Beth scratched her head and changed the signal for the TV. It showed the sasquatchanawkwa from last season. "How's it... going?", Beth asked. "Chris McLean is the best host ever!", it said. "Don't you guys think so?" Chef's voice was heard from offscreen. " Yo Chris, if I wanted to take a hot tub by myself, I- oh, you're on the webcam?" The former campers looked at the screen. "Chris?" Chef walked up to the screen and said "Don't listen to a word he says, the man's crazy", he said.

Noah turned off the webcam, and Beth picked up a cell phone. "And, we've got a call!", she said. "Hello?" "Gwen and Trent stink!", the voice on the phone said. "Go, team Eva!" "You're on team Eva?", Beth asked. "Why?" "Because Eva's the strongest player on the show, and SHE'S GONNA CRUSH ANYONE WHO GETS IN HER WAY, YOU GOT THAT?" Trent gasped. "Wait, is that Eva?", he asked. "You bet it is, traitor!", Eva said. "Now that you're outta the way, I'm gonna crush that stupid cheating girlfriend of yours! She owes me two challenges, and if she's still here after that I'm gonna beat her til she's even MORE black and blue! See you later, nutcase!" Eva's end of the line went dead, and Beth put the phone down.

After a few seconds, Noah cleared his throat. "Okay, time for a new segment called 'That's Gonna Leave a Mark'", he said. The TV screen turned on and showed a series of short clips. "Here's some deleted scenes from TDA", Noah explained. "It's just people getting injured, but that's about as funny as anything else on the show." The clips shown were Harold getting hit on the head by a falling spotlight, Cody getting stepped on by the giant monster robot, Lindsay getting bitten by a crab during the sand castle challenge, Owen tying himself up with rope during the cowboy challenge, and Chef in his alien costume slipping and falling in some green slime. "Now that's gonna leave a mark!", Beth said. Trent picked up his guitar. "Do you guys think I could sing a song? It's something I wrote after Gwen and I broke up", he said. "Oh, of course, Trent", Beth said. He played the song while the audience sighed and cheered like crazy. He smiled and waved at the cameras. Noah sighed. "Well, that's about all our time for today. I'm done here." He walked away and Beth turned to the cameras. "Okay, see you guys on the next Aftermath!"


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7: Nerdman of Alcatraz

A few days after Trent left, Chris woke the campers up early with his air horn. Cody ran to the trailer door and tried to open it, but it was stuck. "Hey, DJ? Can you you gimme a hand?", he asked. DJ yawned and walked up to the door. "Sure thing, man." He yanked the handle, but it wouldn't budge. "Okay, what the heck is going on?" Meanwhile, in the girls' trailer, Heather asked the others the same question. "I have no idea what's up", Eva said, "but I'm gonna find out!" She grabbed the door handle, pulled, and broke it. She threw it down and began pounding on the door. "Come on Eva, you've gotta open the door, I have claustrophobia!", Gwen said. Eva glared at her and stopped striking the door. "Not funny!" "It isn't a joke", Eva said. Gwen looked up and noticed the emergency exit. "Up there! Maybe one of us can squeeze through!", she said. Heather raised her hand. "I'll volunteer."

Back in the other trailer, the guys got the same idea. The problem was Owen tried to exit first. "Owen, you'll never fit!", Harold told him. "I can try my best!", Owen responded. "It's not about trying, it's just a scientific fact." DJ and Harold held Owen down while Cody climbed on top of him and grabbed onto the emergency exit latch. "Okay, got it! We should be outta here in a minute", Cody said.

Just as he got the exit open, Chris opened the door to the trailer. The guys sighed with relief and went out, where the girls were already waiting. Chris walked up to them in his cop costume. "Hope you all enjoyed your first taste of the gulag", he said. "Gulag? I didn't get any gulag!", Lindsay said. "Well, prepare for it to get a whole lot worse, because today is prison flick day!", Chris announced. The campers groaned, except Eva. "Big deal", she said. "I've been to juvie a few times for fighting at school, this'll be a piece of cake." Chris sighed and smiled. "Ah, prison. The confinement, the claustrophobia, the vile, nasty food, and you're always looking over your shoulder cause mister killer dude wants to cut ya for taking the last tater tot! And no matter how hard you try, digging out spoonfuls of dirt, year after year, there's no escape! Unless you get voted off, of course."

_Confession Cam: Harold_

"_Talk about overkill. This place is plenty prisonlike already. Not that I'm complaining, I mean, I should probably be locked up for the ladies' sake anyways."_

_Confession Cam: Gwen_

"_If only Duncan were here... then we'd win this challenge for sure."_

Chris led the campers to the prison set and took them inside. "Lockdown, people, let's get this challenge started!", he said. He led them over to a pair of tables with 'food' on them and two hanging cells. "Teams, take a prisoner from the other team, and Chef, I mean, Warden, lock 'em up." The Killer Grips huddled. "Okay, we're gonna pick Gwen", Eva said. "Agreed?" The others nodded. Meanwhile, the Screaming Gaffers huddled up as well. "Remember when Lindsay locked herself in the bathroom?", Heather asked. Gwen smirked. "Yeah, she lost it! Drank everyone's shampoos in case any of them were magic potions and then barfed on herself." "So, we're picking her?", Heather asked. "Definitely", said Gwen. Chris walked up to them. "Choices? Gaffers?" "Lindsay." "Yay, I win!", Lindsay squealed. "Grips?", Chris asked. "We pick Gwen", Eva said. She glared at Gwen angrily.

"Today's first game is the prison chow-lenge", Chris said. "Each team of prison chefs whips up the foulest, nastiest, most barf inducing slop this side of Alcatraz. Gwen and Lindsay have to stomach as much as they can. Last one to power hurl wins!" Chef led Gwen and Lindsay to their cells. "I-I can't! I'm innocent, I tell you!", Lindsay yelled. "That's what they all say", Chris said. Cody walked up to her as Chef locked the door. "Lindsay, it's just a game. It's gonna be okay." She smiled. "Right... thanks, Cody."

_Confession Cam: Gwen_

"_I know I owe the Grips because of Trent's cheating, but even if we forget Lindsay's shampoo incident, last night she nearly hurled because Heather's gum smelled too minty fresh. How am I gonna puke before that?"_

Gwen looked at the rotten ingredients on the tables and gulped. "The reward better be worth it", she said. "Have I ever let you down?", Chris asked. "Wait, scratch that. Anyway, the winning team gets this." He pulled out a golden shovel. "What're we supposed to do with a shovel?", Lindsay asked. Chris proceeded to ignore her. "Prisoners ready? And, go!" The two teams began preparing the food, mixing the nastiest stuff on their tables... except for DJ, who took one look at the food and topped it off with some seasoning he'd brought with him. "There, that's better", he said. "Mama would be proud. I think." "Time's up!", Chris said. "And jailbirds? Hope your appetites are primed."

Eva brought Gwen her food and glared at her. "You know what to do, right?" Gwen gulped. "Lose?" Eva nodded. Harold brought Lindsay her food. "Bon apetit", he said. "This stuff is low fat and low carb, right?", she asked. "Are you maggots ready?", Chris yelled. "You have one minute to down that chow. And... dig in." Gwen started eating, and so did Lindsay. She gasped. "Wow, that's delicious! It's like eating an angel's wings!" She started scooping the slop into her mouth, while Gwen tried to keep up with her. She didn't, and Lindsay finished first. Then she dropped the bowl and grabbed her stomach. "Oh, I think I ate too much..." She threw up, spewing vomit onto Gwen's face. "Gwen keeps it down for the Screaming Gaffers and wins the reward!", Chris said. Gwen spat up some of Linday's barf. "Aww, don't worry Gwen", Chris said. "The Gaffers will be thanking you during the elimination challenge." Chris walked away and Lindsay walked up to her. "Thanks, Gwen", she said sarcastically. "So much for our deal. Don't screw it up next time, k? Thanks!" Gwen walked over to her team. "What were you and Lindsay just talking about?", Heather asked. "The weather", Gwen said. "Windy and cold with an eighty percent chance of barf." She scraped some vomit off her face and threw it onto Heather's. Heather glared at her. "You're up to something, and I am finding out what."

Chris led the campers outside and over to some laundry carts. "Time for the serious challenge", he said. "No get outta jail free cards here, people. This is escape from Total Drama prison. Each team must hop in their laundry carts while one member pushes them through the obstacle course to freedom. When you reach the wall, get digging. First team to reach the box car to freedom wins immunity. Convicts, select a pusher." DJ raised his hand. "I'll do it", he said. "You sure you can handle the pressure? Everything is riding on this, but if you like being the one who could lose us the whole thing...", Gwen said. DJ scratched his head. "Uh, yeah, I'll sit this one out." Gwen smirked. "It's okay, DJ. I'll do it." She winked at Eva, who just glared at her. Heather walked over to Bridgette. "That girl is seriously sketchy. I for one refuse to trust her", Heather said. "I trust her over you", Bridgette said. "Let's just get in the cart." Heather sighed and Harold approached her. "I believe you", he said. "Even if we can't have DJ push, there's no reason for Gwen to volunteer. After all, we've got my mad upper body strength to rely on." Heather rolled her eyes. "Oh please, you have the upper body strength of a beetle. Still, if we lose this, we're voting Gwen off."

"Well, we all agree I'll push for our team, right?", Eva asked. The other Grips nodded. "Yeah, we're breakin' outta this joint!", Izzy said. "I've always wanted to do this a third time!" The riders hopped into the cart and the pushers got into position. "This is it, teams", Chris said. "On your marks... get set... escape!" The pushers took off, with Eva taking an ever increasing lead. "We really should've let DJ do this", Heather said. "Oh, be quiet!", Gwen yelled. "This is my team, and I'm gonna make sure we win! Trust me!" The Grips reached the wall first and started digging. Cody and Lindsay used spoons while Eva and Izzy dug with their bare hands, so progress was slow. The Gaffers finally caught up to them. Geoff hopped out of the cart and started digging with the shovel. "Geoff, you'll hurt yourself!", Gwen yelled. Heather glared at her. "Would it kill you to offer a little encouragement? Like someone who wants to WIN might do?", Heather asked. Gwen glared back. "Sue me for caring about the wellness of my teammate!", she yelled.

The teams began digging under the wall. Izzy was digging like a dog and Eva was tearing dirt out of the way while the others used their spoons. "Yeah, this is awesome!", Izzy said. "We might've won even without Gwen throwing the game." Cody sighed. "I feel so bad for her", he said. "I mean, she lost her boyfriend and now she's losing this? How is that fair?" "If you don't go along with it, you're gonna lose a limb!", Eva said. Cody zipped his mouth shut and kept digging. In the other tunnel, the Gaffers were making quick progress. "Yeah, now that's what I'm talkin' about!", Geoff said. "I'm starting to like our chances", Heather added. Gwen gulped, then gasped. "Ah, my claustrophobia! The walls, they're closing in! I'm like a caged animal, man! I can't take another second of AAARGH!" She grabbed the shovel from Geoff, flipped out and broke it on Harold's head. Heather screamed. "That's just great, Gwen! Way to wreck our reward!" Bridgette glared at her. "Heather, she has a phobia, give her a break." "Oh, you mean like the one she gave our shovel?" "Just keep digging!", Bridgette yelled. The Gaffers finished their tunnel and reached the surface to find the Grips already waiting for them. They were at the finish line, cheering. "They actually won?", Gwen asked. "Try not to look so upset, traitor", Heather said. The two girls glared at each other.

Then, it was time for dinner. Cody and Lindsay were making out to celebrate victory, while the others tried to force down their food. "Geez, this stuff is barely better than what we made at the prison", Izzy said. "It's not so bad", said Owen. "Just eat really fast and you can barely taste the rotting bits." Meanwhile, the Gaffers were still waiting for their food. "It's so sad that you'll be kicked off tonight, isn't it, Gwen?", Heather asked. Gwen glared at her. "What makes your royal smugness so sure?" "I saw through your little stunt. You threw the challenge, and you're gonna pay." DJ walked up with the first plate of food and gave it to Gwen. "Gwen, here. After the barfing, running and digging, you need to keep your strength up", he told her. Gwen pinched DJ's cheek. "Aww, thanks, DJ. I can always count on you", Gwen said. She smirked.

That evening, the Gaffers went to the stadium for the gilded Chris ceremony. They cast their votes. "Okay, that's everyone", Chris said. "Okay, first statues go to Geoff, Bridgette, DJ and Harold. Tonight's final gilded Chris, and another chance at the million, goes to... Heather." Heather walked up and took the statue from Chris, then pushed him over. "Sorry Gwen, you're not the winner. You lost, again. Better luck next season! Bye bye, Gwennie!" Chef walked up to Gwen, handcuffed her and led her to the lame-ousine. Suddenly, Eva ran up. "Wait! I need to beat her up first!", she yelled. Chris got up and raised an eyebrow. "What for?" "That traitor needs to pay for what Trent did! Besides, I only got one victory out of her!" The Gaffers gasped. "Wait. You mean Heather was right?", Bridgette asked. Eva nodded and walked up to the limo, but the driver hit the gas and sped off. Eva ran after it, yelling about how Gwen had to pay. Heather smirked and walked back to her team, sitting down by Bridgette. "I guess I should've trusted you", Bridgette said. Heather nodded. "I want what's best for my team. Apparently Gwen didn't. That's why she didn't win last season, and I did. But, I also had an alliance last season..." Bridgette raised an eyebrow. "Is this going where I think it is?" Heather nodded and Bridgette sighed. "Okay... fine. I'll join your alliance." Heather patted Bridgette on the shoulder and said "Trust me, you won't regret it."


	8. Chapter 8

**My apologies for the unexpected delay, everyone. I had to take some extra time to ensure standard quality for this chapter, my first draft of it was a very rough one. I hope it's satisfactory now. So... read on and enjoy.**

Chapter 8: Total Medical Drama

After the gilded Chris ceremony, the Screaming Gaffers went back to the trailers to sleep. "I still can't believe Gwen made a side deal with the other team", Geoff said. "One thing you have to learn about people is that they'll do whatever it takes to get what they want", Heather said. "Trust me. I'd know." When they reached the trailers, the Grips were outside waiting for them. "Oh, hey guys", Lindsay said, yawning. "Have you seen Eva?" "She's probably still chasing the limo Gwen left in", Bridgette said. "That girl is crazy." Lindsay nodded. "Okay. Well, goodnight everybody." She tried to open the trailer door but it was stuck. Geoff tried to open the door to the other one, but it was stuck too. "Hey, who locked the door?", he asked. "Oh, wait, let me try it!", Izzy said. She ran at the door and hit her head against it, but it didn't budge.

Suddenly, a siren was heard in the distance. Izzy gasped and dove under a trailer to hide. "Crap, the RCMP's back to get me!" But, no. The source of the siren arrived and it turned out to be an ambulance. It zoomed by and a stretcher with something covered in a blanket on it fell out of the back. Everyone approached it. "Eww, what is that, a dead body?", Heather asked. "Or an undead body", Harold said. Suddenly, the thing under the blanket rose up. It turned out to be Chris. "Calm yourselves, no one's dead yet", he said. "I'm here to prep you plucky ducks for our most awesome challenge yet. These textbooks I brought hold the sum total of eight years of med school, and each one of you gets one, cause tomorrow we're gonna play doctor!" Chris thew a book to each camper.

_Confession Cam: Harold_

"_I could be a doctor if I wanted to. I have plenty of hands-on experience cause I've contracted more than three hundred known diseases, and I've been cured of nearly all of them. But, there is no known vaccine for loving Leshawna."_

"To win this challenge, you're gonna wanna memorize the entire contents of these textbooks, by morning", Chris told the cast members. "But it's already so late!", Heather yelled. "You got that right!" Then, Chef arrived in a pizza delivery vehicle. "What med school all-nighter would be complete without pizza?" Chef hopped out of the vehicle and carried a stack of pizza boxes to Owen. "Mmm, that smells good!", he said. "This has to be a trick", Bridgette said. "More like method acting", Chris told her. "Med school interns consume eight hundred and fifty percent more pizza than the average human. So, dig in, cause there's plenty more where that came from!" Chef and Chris hopped in the pizza vehicle and drove off. Geoff shrugged. "Well, you heard the dude. Let's chow down!" He grabbed one of the boxes, pulled out a slice and took a bite. "Wow, tastes incredible!" "How is that even possible?", Heather asked. The other campers ignored her.

"Hey, you know what my brothers and I did once?", Owen asked. "We had a no hands pizza-off. You should've been there", he said. Izzy smiled. "Let's pretend I was!" "Count me in too, dude!", Geoff said. He, Izzy and Owen started eating pizza like dogs. Geoff and Izzy stopped long enough to share a slice, starting at opposite ends and meeting in the middle, then went back to eating wildly. Izzy was making a mess, which landed on the other campers. "My hair!" "My shirt!" "My eyes!"

_Confession Cam: Izzy_

"_This is gonna be the best challenge ever! I was at the top of my pre-med class before the RCMP started chasing me, so this should be a snap! And, Geoff is just the sweetest thing ever! It's great to hang out with him between challenges like this."_

"This pie is rad!", Geoff said. "Who knew Chef could actually cook?" "Aren't you having any, Bridgette?", Harold asked. She shook her head. "No, I'm a vegetarian and all we've got is pepperoni pizzas. Stupid omnivore bias..." "Well, no pizza for Bridge means more for the rest of us", Geoff said. "Amen, brother!", DJ said. He grabbed two slices and ate them both at once. Brigette sighed and started reading one of the books.

The next morning, all the cast members went to the hospital set for the challenge. Harold yawned. "So tired..." Lindsay rubbed her head. "Owwie, my brain is full!" Eva raised an eyebrow. "What the heck were you guys doing after I left?" "Studying for today's challenge", Cody said. "Huh. Alright then." Chris opened the door they were waiting by. "Morning, competitors!", he said. "Or should I say doctors?" He pulled out a large gun and shot medical gear at them. "Ready for today's challenge?" "Some of us are more ready than others", Heather said. She smirked at Eva, who glared at her in response. "Ooh, tension, my favorite!", Chris said. "Let's take it inside." He led the teams into the set, which had two large tubs of gunk and two diving boards. "Today's reward challenge is called Visiting Hours, and only one member of the winning team will get to enjoy the reward." "If only one of us gets the prize, why even bother trying to win?", DJ asked. "A challenge is a challenge", Heather said. "It's one for all, and in this case, all for one." "Yeah, but if we win, who gets to be the one?" "The person who most directly contributes to the win", Heather said.

_Confession Cam: Heather_

"_I couldn't just say it would be me. That'd be too blunt, too selfish. So I have to look like I'm being nice and unbiased. Am I doing okay? I'm still not used to this."_

"Chris, you haven't told us what the reward is yet", Harold said. "You're very perceptive, Harold", Chris replied. "Let's see if that'll help you and your team assemble a cadaver!" Lindsay gasped. "You mean like... a dead body?" "No, I mean like a giant dead body. These tanks contain the dismembered parts of two identical cadavers. Each player will climb their team's ladder, strap on the bungee cord and jump into the tank with hopes of retrieving a body part. Any parts you find will be snapped in place on the platforms by your tank. Then when it's done, use the chains to raise it all the way to the roof, where they'll be reanimated by a blast of lightning. First team to bring their cadaver to life wins", Chris explained.

"First shot goes to the team who can tell me how to treat someone with a bean stuck up their nose", Chris said. Cody raised his hand. "Administer two CC's of pain meds and probe the affected area with a sterile swab. "Correctamundo!" Cody smiled, got up to the diving board and jumped into the tank. He came up with an electric eel. He dropped it and grabbed onto the diving board. "What the heck was that?" "Oh yeah", Chris said, "I forgot to mention the electric eels. Three zaps and you're out." Cody sighed and jumped back in. He came out with a foot. "Got it!" He tossed it to Owen, who put it in place. The challenge continued. Heather gave her team a hand and the cadaver arm it was attached to, Owen got the cadaver's other foot for the Grips, Bridgette got a leg, and so on. Finally, the Gaffers finished theirs and began raising it up. Then, the Grips finished and Eva began pulling their cadaver up.

"Oh, it's so exciting I can't take it!", Izzy said. She grabbed Owen's arm and bit it. "Ouch!" "Sorry!" She looked at the bite mark, then the rest of his arm, and gasped. "Owen, what's that icky sore?" She put a hand on Owen's forehead. "And you're burning up!" He belched and Izzy fell over. "Mmm, lemony", he said. Cody stopped pulling the chain for his team's cadaver. "Wait a sec. Red sores, fevers, lemony burps... those are symptoms of one of the diseases in the book I read." Cody went wide-eyed. "And it's fatal!" "It's not just fatal", Heather said, "it's highly contagious!"

Chris began backing out of the room. "Okay, looks like it's quarantine time. See ya, wouldn't wanna be ya!" He ran out and barricaded the door. "Hey, lemme out of here!", Eva yelled. She pounded against the door but it wouldn't budge. "Oh, come on!" "How did Owen get a fatal disease anyway?", Geoff asked. "Probably by eating something", Eva said. Owen nodded. Harold found an inflatable bubble and an air pump. "We need to quarantine Owen, stat!" Eva pumped oxygen into the bubble while the rest of the Grips forced him into it. Then, Heather screamed. "I see another sore, on DJ!" "It's gotta be some kind of mistake!", he said. Harold and Eva got another bubble set up and DJ got in. "Hey, where is the exit door on these things?", Owen asked. "There isn't one", Cody said. "Uh-oh... starting to panic here... Let me outta this crazy thing!" Owen began rolling around, screaming and bouncing off of things in his bubble. "Oh, great", Heather said, "now Owen's not just infected, he's a deranged pinball of death!"

"We need to confirm no one else is infected", Harold said. "Symptoms of this disease include explosive diarrhea, itchy lips, sudden hot flashes, stomach sickness, speaking in tongues, and temporary blindness. Anyone? Well, that's a relief." Harold turned around and began walking, but collided with Izzy. "I'm blind!" Meanwhile, everyone but Harold, Bridgette and Eva showed one of the other symptoms. "Let's hope this thing kills people quickly", Eva said. She and Bridgette got the others onto some stretchers since there we no bubbles left. "Okay, just try to relax", Bridgette told them. "I don't think I can...", Harold said. "I'm burning up!" "Here, have some water." She handed Harold a glass and had him take a sip, but he coughed and it spat out onto her face. "Gross." Eva walked up to her. "Did anything weird happen last night?" "No, everyone just had some pizza and studied. Well, everyone but me had the pizza..." "There's gotta be a way out of here..." Eva looked up and saw a hole in the roof. "Perfect." she walked over to the chains from one of the cadavers and began climbing. "Follow me." Bridgette frowned. "But what about the others?" "If they're really infected, I for one don't wanna die. Let's go try to find a cure or something."

Bridgette and Eva climbed out, then climbed down from the roof. "You go find your books, I'm gonna find Chris", Eva said. She ran into the mess hall. "Hey, Chef! Where's Chris!" She walked into the kitchen. "Hello!" She went to the counter and noticed something odd. "Wait, what the heck?" She picked up a can of itching powder, and a box of laxatives. "What're these doing here?" She gasped. "Aha!"

She ran back to the hospital set and stormed in. She broke down the barricade and went into the challenge room. "Okay, everyone calm down!", she yelled. "This disease thing is fake!" "What are you talking about? No one's faking being sick", Harold said. "No, but the symptoms aren't from illness. I found some itching powder and laxatives in the kitchen. I think that pizza you guys ate had some secret ingredients in it." "Huh. Well that would explain why Bridgette didn't have any symptoms. But what about my blindness, and Izzy speaking in tongues, and the red sores?" DJ rubbed his sore and it came off. "Hey, it's just some pepperoni!" Owen took his off and ate it. "Mm, delicious! Now let me outta this bubble!" "We're still missing a few explanations", Cody said. Izzy laughed. "I just realized it! It's first year med school syndrome! When you study diseases too long, every little itch you have makes you think you've got one. I remember it from my first aid training... ah, those were the days."

Suddenly, Chris and Bridgette walked in. "Congratulations, Killer Grips, you just won the challenge!" Bridgette sighed. "Sorry, guys." "Brilliant snooping skills, Eva. You figured out this whole thing was faked, and everyone's looking better already. So, you guys have a choice to make. Who's going to get the reward?" Eva raised her hand. "Um... can it be me?", she asked. The others looked at her. Cody shrugged. "I don't see why not", he said. Eva nodded. "Thanks." "Alright", Chris said, "your reward is to spend a few hours at a spa with a friend from back home. Who's it gonna be, Eva?" She shook her head. "No one. I don't really have friends, and I'd rather just have some quiet time alone." Chris shrugged. "Alright then. See you in a few hours. Chef, get the limo!" He did so, and Eva left to go enjoy her spa trip. The other cast members went back to the trailers.

When Eva came back that night, she was smiling. Lindsay saw her and gasped. "Oh my gosh, Eva, what's wrong with your face!" Eva frowned. "Oh, never mind. It's gone." Eva sighed. "Yeah, thanks. Well, it's getting late. Let's get some sleep now." So, they went back in the trailer to rest up for the next challenge.


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter 9: Paranormal Stupidity

The next day, the cast members were relaxing by the trailers. Izzy, Owen and a few others were playing cards. "Izzy, do you have a BLT?", Owen asked. She squinted at him. "I'll also take a five", he said. She took his cards away, made a poker face and shuffled both their hands into the deck. Harold watched.

_Confession Cam: Harold_

"_Izzy thinks she's so cool, but did she spend three entire summers at Magic Steve's Magic Camp? Allow me to demonstrate my mad magic skills by producing the ace of spades!" Instead, he produced a picture of himself in a speedo. "Oh, huh. Hey, how did that get in there?"_

Meanwhile, Lindsay and Eva were having some mini sandwiches. "I can't believe we managed to steal these from lunch", she said. "Good thing DJ's willing to share his seasonings, huh?" Eva took a sandwich and nodded. Owen crept up behind them and took a few sandwiches. "Owen, stop stealing our food!", Eva said. "What're you talking about?", he mumbled between bites. "You disgust me, Owen", she said. Geoff yawned. "Man, this is a good day. Wouldn't it be awesome if there were no challenge?", he asked. "Oh my gosh, we could totally just chill here, and me and the girls could braid each other's hair", Lindsay said. Heather walked over and took one of her sandwiches. "Some of us are trying to keep up our strength to actually win the competition", she said. "You think there is one today?", Lindsay asked. "There better be. I'm here to win a million dollars, and the faster it happens, the better."

Right on cue, Chris turned on the intercom. "Attention, Total Drama victims! Please meet me in the northwest corner of the studio! Bring lozenges. The screaming is gonna hurt", he said. Lindsay sighed. "So there is a challenge?" She walked up to Eva. "Can I still do some hair braiding?" Eva shook her head and they walked to where Chris told them to. When they got there, Chris was nowhere to be found. Heather started pacing back and forth. "We walk all the way over here and Chris can't even be bothered to show up?" "Maybe he's racked up too much overtime figuring out new ways to torture us", Cody said. Then, they heard a scream. They looked up and saw Chris falling. He landed on a spotlight pole and was impaled, spewing red stuff everywhere. Several campers screamed. Izzy walked up to Chris and waved a hand over his face. "Wow, this is so cool! Anyone have a shovel? We gotta bury this thing!" "Hey, I'm still alive!", Chris said. Lindsay gasped. "Are you immoral or something?" "Nope! It's the magic of cinema, boys and girls. Wanna see how it's done?" "NO!" "Our crackerjack effects team seals fake blood into a thin membrane of plastic called a squib. This little baby bursts on impact. An old fashioned optical illusion helps sell that I've been impaled. "Can we just get on with this?", Geoff asked.

Chris got off the spotlight prop and nodded. "Yeah, fine. Today we're doing a horror movie challenge! To figure out which team gets which challenge, we're gonna have a scream-off! Think of every great horror movie you've ever seen." "Oh my gosh, you guys, did you see that one with the possessed frog that learned to walk and smothered cats? Or did I make that up?", Izzy asked. "All horror movies have one thing in common: fantastic screaming from actors, and the killers who kill them. Each team? Pick a serial killer. The rest of you will be the screamers. And if your serial killer can make you scream the loudest, your team wins!"

The teams split up to choose their killers. The Screaming Gaffers were first. "It's too bad Gwen and Duncan aren't here", Heather said. "If they were, we'd have this challenge in the bag." "Well since they are gone, who are we gonna pick?", Bridgette asked. Heather scratched her head. "Well... how about Geoff?" Geoff shrugged. "Sure." DJ stood up. "No! I'll do it." The others looked at him. Heather raised an eyebrow. "Are you sure?" DJ nodded. "I need to stop being scared of everything and prove that I can be scary myself. Or something like that." Heather sighed. "Alright, fine. But try not to screw this up."

_Confession Cam: Heather  
"Putting trust in your teammates has its perks. It builds confidence, gains their trust in return, and generally helps everyone feel good. It also has its issues though. For example, you might have to trust them to do something you KNOW they suck at. Like right now."_

Then, the Killer Grips made their decision. "I'm the closest thing to a killer on this team", Eva said. "I'm scarier than the rest of you combined." Cody nodded. "No kidding", he said. "Yeah, I get scared just looking at you sometimes!", Lindsay said. Eva glared at her and Lindsay shrieked a bit. "...Well, I see your point", Eva said.

After making their decisions, the teams walked to the horror set. It was time for the first part of the challenge. "Alright, Izzy and Harold, prepare for your killers to enter, and then I want huge, massive, ginormous screams! We'll be measuring the volume on our scream-ometer", Chris told them. Then he turned to the crew behind him. "Lights, camera, action!" First, Eva crept up behind Izzy and put her hand on her shoulder, then growled. Izzy screamed, then started laughing. "Oh, not bad, Eva!", she said. "Next time, put a little more grip into the shoulder grab, k?" Next, DJ ran up to Harold. "Oh, hey DJ. What's up?", Harold said. DJ made some scary motions and roared at Harold, who screamed. "Hm, that was a close one, but the point goes to DJ and the Screaming Gaffers", Chris said.

Next up, Bridgette sat waiting in an outhouse. "Why do I have to wait here? Why not in an abandoned car or something? I mean, the confession cam was bad enough, but at least back then the camera usage was voluntary", she said. DJ barged in, but turned away and covered his face. "Oh, I'm sorry!", he said, "I didn't mean to bust in on your private moment." Bridgette sighed. "DJ, you're supposed to be scary. Go try again." He did, but Bridgette didn't scream at all. Next, Eva scared Owen so much he actually needed the toilet he was on. "And the point goes to the Killer Grips!", Chris announced.

Chris walked over to Lindsay and Cody, who were sitting on a couch in a cabin set. "Okay guys, this is the tie breaker scene", he told them. "You're gonna have to act your faces off." Cody looked at the Script he was holding. "Huh, it has stage directions too. And... it says we have to make out." He turned to Lindsay, grinning. She smiled back and they began going at it. After a minute, Eva walked up behind the couch. She jumped and landed on top of them. "Time to die, punks!", she yelled. Cody and Lindsay screamed. Next up, Heather and Geoff were put in the same scenario. Heather looked at the script and gasped. "No. no, no, no. I would rather die", she said. "Oh come on, it's not that bad", Geoff said. Heather glared at him. "Look, I do NOT wanna kiss you! I'll do it for the challenge but only for a second, at that's it! Got it?" Geoff nodded. They leaned in for the kiss and connected. Heather quickly pulled away, turned her head and began spitting onto the floor. "I'm not sure that was a very good shot", Geoff said. "Think we need to do a retake." Heather slapped him. "Okay, okay, never mind! Geez..." DJ walked up behind them, holding a knife. He stuck his arm between them. They both saw it and screamed. Chris went to check on the scream-ometer, then came back. "Okay, the results are in. and the winners are... the Killer Grips! Heather, Geoff. Tell your teammates to pack their bags, because you're spending tonight in the dining hall."

The Gaffers went to the dining hall and set up their stuff. "This isn't such a bad place to spend the night", Geoff said. "I mean sure there's no heating, but at least we've still got a roof over our heads, right?" "Yeah, great", Heather said. "I hope I can get my beauty sleep. Bridgette? Need an extra pillow?", Heather asked. "No, I'm good." Heather turned to her other teammates. "What about you, Harold?" He shook his head. "No thanks." Then, Chris walked in. "Hey, guys! I thought you might wanna hear a little bedtime story!" The campers groaned and Chris took a seat. "I'm gonna tell you why this film lot was abandoned and closed", he said. "I thought it was because of the giant monster", DJ said. "Hush, child. This film lot is perfectly safe on this plane, but on the other dimension, it's haunted." He told the story of the dead rent-a-cop. By the end, DJ and Harold were freaking out. "Your task is to spend a whole night here, without leaving this tent", Chris said. "If you manage to do so, your team gets invincibility and nobody goes home." He walked over to a table with some gadgets and a Ouija board on it. "You can track any psychic phenomena with these devices. And just in case, I'll leave you my tiny flashlight." "Gee, thanks", Heather said sarcastically.

Chris left the tent and walked over to the Grips. "The Screaming Gaffers are sitting in the craft services tent like ducks", he told them. "Your task is to make like special effects gurus and frighten the pants off them, or at least get them out of the tent before dawn." "How are we supposed to scare them?", Lindsay asked. "Your call. But, you get them out and your team wins invincibility and no one goes home. Oh, just so you know, I told them some cockamamey story about a security guard who died on set." Chris laughed and walked away. "Have fun!" Eva turned to her team. "This'll be a piece of cake. Lindsay, you come with me and help me look for props. Owen, Cody, Izzy, you try to scare them. Warm 'em up for me a bit. Got it?" Cody nodded. "Warm them up for what?", Cody asked. "Oh, you'll see."

Cody and the other two went to the tent. They put a white blanket over a rubber ball and stuck them on a fishing pole. They went up to the roof and stuck it in through a small opening. DJ and Harold screamed. "It's a ghost! Run for your lives!" Bridgette and Geoff blocked DJ from leaving. "Dude, calm down!", Geoff said. "There's no way that thing can hurt us." Heather walked up to the 'ghost' and poked it. Then she pulled the sheet off. "It's just a ball!", she said. "Someone is trying to mess with us. Next time something weird happens, just sit down."

Meanwhile, Eva and Lindsay found a prop storage room. "Bingo", Eva said. "His name-o?", Lindsay asked. Eva smacked her. "Just shut up. Now, we need a police officer's hat, a badge, a belt with a holster, a dart gun and one of those squibs." Lindsay picked up an admiral's hat. "Ooh, can we take this one too? I am totally digging the look." Eva nodded and Lindsay squealed with joy. Then, Eva picked out her props. "Alright, let's go."

Around midnight, the Gaffers were playing cards when the lights went out. DJ shrieked. "DJ, calm down, they're just trying to spook us", Heather said. Up above them, Izzy lowered Eva down on a rope. She was dressed as a cop, and the Gaffers saw her. Eva pointed at them and Lindsay picked up a megaphone. "You! You did this to me, and now you must pay with your lives!" "You're bluffing!", Heather said. Eva pulled the dart gun out of its holster and fired at Harold. He was hit, and red liquid coated his shirt. He screamed, DJ screamed, the others screamed and they all ran out of the tent. Eva fired a few more shots at them, and then they ran into Chris. "Hi, guys!", he said. "What's going on?" "The ghost! The ghost of the rent-a-cop!" Chris laughed. "Oh, come on, that was just a story I made up. Let's go see what it really was, shall we?" Chris and the others, except DJ, went back to the tent. Chris pulled out a flashlight and turned it towards Eva, who took of her hat. "Boo!", she said. Chris laughed. "Man, you must have put on one heck of an act! You scared the Gaffers and won the challenge!" Izzy sighed. "Thank goodness, my arms are killing me!" She let go of the rope and Eva fell to the floor.

Next, it was time for a late night elimination. Chris walked up to his podium and said "Alright, let's make this quick. Gilded Chris statues go to... Heather, Geoff, Bridgette, and last but not least... Harold." DJ sighed and Geoff patted his shoulder. "Sorry, dude. Better luck next season?", DJ nodded. "Yeah, thanks, man. Good luck to ya in this one." He walked away, waving to his team. "See you later, guys!" He got in the limo and left, while the others went to the trailers to sleep.


	10. Chapter 10

Chapter 10: Apocalypse Later

It was breakfast a few days later. The cast members were trying to ignore the bugs crawling on it and force down their food. "I really miss DJ's cooking", Harold said. "It was as awesome as this is completely grossitating." Then he looked at the table. "Hey, these bendy straws look just like the ones from at the hospital where I got my kidneys swapped!" "You had your kidneys swapped? Most people just get a transplant", Bridgette said. "I know. I'm a rare case." "Got that right", Heather said. Harold rolled his eyes. "Whatever. I'm keeping these." He shoved the straws in his pocket.

Chris walked in, smiling. "Good morning, cast members! Guess what time it is..." "I think I know", Heather said. "Exactly what torture have you concocted for us today?", she asked. "Oh, nothing, just that your day will be a total disaster. As in, a disaster movie theme! People running for their lives from from volcanoes, earthquakes, asteroids, tidal waves... the more disastrous, the better."

_Confession Cam: Lindsay_

"_My hair is a total disaster already! It's been three weeks since I had a trim. I'm in split ends city! How much worse could it get?"_

The cast members finished their food and followed Chris to an uphill set. "Your first challenge is the earthquake of inevitable pain! Each team has to run the obstacle course, challenging your dexterity, maneuverability and other mad monkey skills. Meanwhile, Chef will be throwing things at you! First team to the top wins this round, and best two out of three earns today's reward. On your marks... get set... and, action!"

Chris blew his air horn and the teams took off up the hill. "Are you ready to rock!", he shouted. He pulled a lever on the control panel in front of him and the set began shaking. The campers fell over. Eva landed on Izzy. "If you break it, you buy it!", Izzy said. "I'm gonna be buying an arm soon if we don't win this challenge." Meanwhile, Chef started throwing things. He knocked Bridgette and Harold off the monkey bars. Owen fell down and threw up. He gasped. "No! My delicious food, lost forever!" "Oh, yeah, that reminds me", Chris said. "Lava time!" He hit a button and the set opened up. Fake lava began spewing out and coating the ground. The campers all got to higher ground. "Whew, is it getting hot out here? How about a cool, refreshing hail storm?", Chris asked. He got in a golf cart and began shooting golf balls at the teens. He hit Izzy and Cody and knocked them both down.

The set split in half from the shaking, and Lindsay fell in the gap between the halves. Cody grabbed her hand and pulled her up. "Oh, Cody, you saved me- again!" She kissed him. "My hero..." Cody smiled. "Glad I could help, babe. Now let's win this challenge!" "Oh, you'll win a lot more than that!", she said. While they were talking, the other team got ahead- except Harold, who got shot by Chris and fell over into some water. "Everyone, get behind me!", Owen told the Grips. They did so, using him as a human shield. Then, Chris ran out of golf balls. Owen sighed and went on with the challenge. "Chef, do something!", Chris yelled. Chef nodded and resumed throwing things. After a while he pulled out the last item he had. "Ah, my unpublished novel. So many hours put into this... I always hoped it would be a hit." He threw it and it collided with Owen's jaw. "And it was!"

Owen fell backward and landed on a log. "Owchie, that hurts!", He said. Then he started mumbling unintelligibly. Eva and Izzy ran over to him. "Owen, are you okay?", Izzy asked. "Come on, get up!", Eva yelled. Owen began howling in pain. Cody walked up to Chris. "Um, Chris? Why doesn't the crew go up and help him?", he asked. "Yeah, yeah, as soon as we get some shots of him in agony. This makes for great TV! Good news is, since you lost a player, I'm gonna give you guys the point for this round." "Oh come on!", Heather said. "Yeah, we got our whole team across the finish line!", Harold said. "Dude, I make the rules, not you. I just punish you if you break 'em. Remember?" Harold sighed. "Gosh, of course I do." "You just make up the rules as you go along, don't you?", Heather asked. Chris nodded. "I love my job..."

After Owen was taken to the hospital, it was time to resume the challenge. The cast members walked over to a submarine set. "Anyone know how Owen's doing?", Izzy asked. "I got a call from the doctor. He's fine, just a broken jaw. Shouldn't take more than four to six weeks to heal", Chris said.

_Confession Cam: Chris_

"_This is what release forms are for, correctamundo?"_

"Alright, now it's time for the second disaster themed challenge. Who's excited?" No one responded. The campers got in the life boats by the submarine set. "Because of Owen's win, the Grips have the advantage of getting this handy dandy piece of paper for the second challenge. He folded it into a plane and threw it to Lindsay, who got hit in the eye. She winced and picked the paper up. "What good is this? It just has some dumb numbers on it", she said. "I think it's a lock combination", Izzy said. "Okay, time to get inside", Chris told them. The campers did has he asked. "I don't like this", Bridgette said. "I'm more at ease above the water, not below it." After the teams got in their two chambers, an alarm went on and the lights turned red. Then, Chris turned on the in-sub intercom. "For this challenge, you've gotta get out before it's too late." "Too late? Too late for what?", Heather asked. "Oh, you'll find out..." They did soon, when the pipes in the chambers began to burst and the lights went out.

Cody looked at the rising water. "Oh no... if we don't get out on time, we're gonna drown!" "You don't think Chris is really mean enough to let that happen, do you?", Lindsay asked. Eva shrugged. "A challenge is a challenge, now let's get to work. Meanwhile, the Gaffers were already working. "This water is freezing, and I can barely see anything!", Heather said. "Don't worry, I can handle it", Geoff said. "I go to a lot of late night, outdoor parties." He stumbled over to a box and pulled out some flashlights. "Ah, there we go." He passed them to the others. "Let's win this challenge!" They looked up, then down, and settled on down. "Let's try the floor exit", Bridgette said. "Anyone know how to pick a lock?" "Actually, I learned how to open a combo lock at Picky Steve's Lock Picking Camp." "Good, get to work!", Heather said. He did so.

In the other chamber, the Grips were turning some valves. Eva turned one all the way and ripped it off the wall. "Okay, I guess that was the wrong one", she said. Izzy tried to do the same, but lost her grip and was sent flying into the wall. "Wow, what a head rush!", she said. She stepped on the box of flashlights. "Hey, look what I found!" "Yay for Izzy's hard head!", Lindsay said. They looked and found the two possible exits. "I'll try the upper one, you guys get the lower one", Eva said. She began turning the valve on top, while Cody checked the other. "It's a combination lock!", he said. "How are we ever gonna open it?", Lindsay asked. Izzy took the piece of paper from her. "With this!", she said. She went toward the lock, but Cody bumped into her and she dropped the paper. She gasped and picked it up, but it was smudgy. "Well this sucks", she said. Finally, Eva got the other latch open and a shark popped out. She punched it and it went back up. "Okay, forget the paper, just try every combination until the lock works!", she yelled.

Back in the other chamber, Harold was working on the lock under water. He came up and gasped for air. "I can't do it, I need more time!", he said. "If only I had gills." The water kept rising. Heather and Bridgette got the upper latch open, but a jet of flames came out. "Well, maybe we can just leave that open and turn all the water to steam?", Geoff said. Heather just glared at him. "What? It's the best idea I've got!" Harold gasped. "I have a better one!" He pulled the straws out of his pocket. He put one in his mouth and handed the others to Heather. "Quick, help me make a snorkel!" They did so, and Harold dived back under the water. He worked on the lock for seconds, then a few minutes. Finally it opened and he swam out. The others followed him, and the water gushed out of the submarine set from both chambers. "Whew! This'll make escaping from under water waaay easier!", Lindsay said. Eva smacked her.

_Confession Cam: Harold_

"_I had it all under control. You see, I work best under pressure... pressure! Get it? Like water pressure? I'm hilarious..." _

The cast members went back to the trailers and sat around a campfire, trying to dry off. Chris walked up to them, smiling. "Well, that was a pretty exciting day, huh?", he said. "Looks like today's reward goes to the Gaffers. Maybe the Grips will win it next time, but I wouldn't hold my breath", he said. He laughed and pulled out some paper. "Now let's see what the Gaffers have won... Oh, an all expense paid trip to beautiful British Columbia! That's right, you'll be staying at a luxurious inn on the volcano. A charming lodge, teetering on the edge of a little known active volcano on Vancouver island. To get you there, you'll be enjoying a midday hike up the-" "No thanks", Heather said. "I think I speak for all of us when I say we'd rather stay here." "We'll just take some chips and pop if that's okay", Bridgette said. Chris shrugged. "Suit yourselves. More money for my end of the year bonus", he said.

_Confession Cam: Heather_

"_That's what they call a prize? Right. Like we really needed a disaster themed vaycay." _

Chris wheeled Owen over by the trailer and whispered to him. "Okay, I can let you eat with the Gaffers, if you promise not to sue." "Promise", he said. "Promise, promise? Not like fake promise, right?" Owen nodded and Chef brought him some food. "Well, that was easier than I thought!"


	11. Chapter 11

Chapter 11: Tropic Blunder

A few days later, the cast members had just finished a poorly prepared lunch and were struggling to find a working restroom. Finally they found one, but most of the stalls were closed. "Only one toilet is working today? Come on!", Eva yelled. "Does this bargain basement show even have a plunger?", Heather asked. Harold opened the door and found Owen on the toilet. He screamed. "Owen, hurry up! The rest of us need to use that!" "I'm trying, but I can't!", he said. "Pipes a little backed up?" Owen nodded. "Who knew a diet of blended corned beef and cheese puffs could stop my whole system?" Chef barged in carrying a drink. "Make way, coming through!", he said. "Chef, a little privacy?", Owen said. "Drink this. It should help", Chef told him. Owen took the drink and gulped it down, then screamed. "Oh, gross! That isn't even food-esque!" "You'll thank me later when your problem clears up."

After they finished their business, the teens went to find Chris. It was time for the next challenge. Chris began pacing back and forth in front of them. "Today's all about war movies, so look lively, you-" "Buckets of horse doodoo", Chris and Chef said. "So, get ready for the first death defying challenge, you-" "Disgusting, slimy crustaceans!" "Move it, privates!" "Sir, yes sir!", the cast members responded.

_Confession Cam: Geoff_

"_I've always wanted to be a marine. They're rough, tough, they wear rad boots and they say hoo-yah! No idea what that means, but it sounds so cool... hoo-yah!" _

"I am so pumped", Harold told his team. "My squad in Battlefront has won ten online multiplayer gaming titles. The secret to our success? Teamwork." Heather smiled. "Glad to hear it, since we're in an alliance. Still, this is gonna be a real life challenge, not a virtual one. Just keep that in mind." "Just wait til I bust out my deadly numyo", Harold said. "No longer must we live in fear of ninja attacks, not when I'm carrying this bad boy." He pulled out some yoyos and began swinging them around. "I'll defeat all enemies and smite them with dishonor!" Geoff walked up to him and stuck a stick into one of the yoyo arcs. The swinging stopped and it fell, hitting him between the legs. Harold groaned and fell to the ground, while Geoff and Heather laughed. "Dudes, look, he took a numyo in the numyos!"

Chris put blindfolds on the teens and took them to the first challenge. "Okay, you can remove your blindfolds now", he told them upon arrival. They did so, and saw that they were inside a plane. "When it comes to making a war movie, jumping out an airplane is the most dangerous stunt there is. So naturally, it's our first challenge!" Chris pulled open the plane's door, and the cast members saw blue sky and clouds as the wind rushed in. They gasped. Lindsay hugged Cody. "Hey, when we land, I'm thinking I should be our team's admiral", she said. Cody raised an eyebrow. "But this is a LAND war. Admirals are in charge of navies, generals are in charge of armies." "But admiral sounds cuter! From now on, I wanna be called Admiral Lindsay her Hotness, okay?" Cody rolled his eyes. "Whatever you say, babe." Eva glared at her. "Since you've got water on the brain, you can be our admiral, but I'M the team leader, you got that!"

"Drop zone approaching!", Chris said. "Form a line, it's time to party! Stunt people undergo weeks of training before they parachute. Luckily, we're gonna skip all that and get to the good part: jumping!" "Are you sure that's a good idea?", Harold asked. "What's the worst that could happen?" "We die!", Owen said. "I know! Hilarious! Time to jump!" Izzy stood up. "There's only one way outta this thing, and it's through that door!" She got behind Owen and started pushing him. Eva gave her a hand and Owen went flying out the door. Izzy screamed. "Oh, crap, he forgot his parachute!" DJ screamed too. "It's okay, I just got a call from my research team!", Chris said. "Apparently, there were no parachutes in world war one!" "So what do we do for a challenge?", Heather asked. "Simple: jump without one!" Chris kicked the crate of parachutes out of the plane. The campers gasped and Izzy ran to Geoff. She kissed him. "I'm going after my teammate. See you at the bottom, Geoffie..." She ran out the door. Geoff ran after her. "No, Izzy, wait!" He jumped. "You're next, Cody!", Chris said. He started backing away. "No way, no way can I do this!" Lindsay grabbed his hand. "We can do this together! Come on!" She dragged her light weight boyfriend to the door and jumped out, both of them screaming. Then, the plane tilted and the other cast members all slid out the door.

They landed on a mattress in front of a fake sky screen and a giant fan. Owen looked around. "We're alive! WOOHOO! Oh, it's good to be alive!" Chris hopped out of the plane. "Let's roll, soldiers, cause the second part of this challenge is gonna blow your minds! And everything else within a fifty food radius!" He led the campers outside, where Chef was setting up piles of explosive devices. "Are those paint bombs?", Lindsay asked. Chris nodded. "We've divided the camp into two halves. Most creative and controlled explosion wins." "Sounds awesome", Geoff said. "I agree", Harold said. "I know a lot about controlling explosions. I'm basically a chem expert." Meanwhile, Lindsay walked over to her team wearing her admiral hat and a blue jacket. "Okay, minions, Admiral Lindsay her Hotness is about to tell you how this is going to work... how is this going to work?" "We need to arrange the bombs so that it makes a fancy pattern", Cody said. "It needs to cover a wide area and look nice without just blowing up at random." "Okay then, let's go!", Lindsay said. Eva picked up some bombs. "Anyone got a pattern idea? I was thinking a skull and crossbones." "How about some pretty flowers?", Lindsay asked.

"Time's up!", Chris said. "Oh, looks like you didn't even get started." "Not so fast, senor!", Izzy said. Chris turned to her. She had arranged a bunch of bombs, covering a bunker. "Whoa, now that's what I call thorough!" Owen walked up to her. "Izzy, how did you do this so fast?" "I didn't do it", she said, "it was my friend Explosivo! Explosivo is loco for boom boom!" Chris walked away, over to the Grips. "Okay guys, are you ready?" "Heck yes!", Geoff said. Chris handed him the trigger device. He pressed it, and their bombs exploded, making a giant word: BOOM. Chris laughed. "Man, that's a good one! Let's see what Izzy came up with." He walked over to them. "Are you ready to blow it up?", Chris asked. Izzy grinned. "Si, si, Explosivo is ready! Tres... dos... boom boom!" She pressed the trigger device and the bunker blew up. A few rockets flew into the air and exploded. Chris watched in awe. "Holy crap that was cool... how did you make it fly into the air like that?" "Oh, that? That was one of my homemade ones", Izzy said. Geoff ran up and hugged her. "Babe, that was the second most awesome thing I've ever seen you do!" She smiled and kissed him. "Aww, you're so sweet! What was the first one?" "Uh... not important." Izzy shrugged. "Okay then. Boom boom!" Chris shook his head. "Explosive? Yes. Creative and controlled? Eh... not so much. The Grips win this round." The Grips cheered.

"It is my honor to present you with this: the trunk of mind blowing secrets!" Chef wheeled a trunk up to them. "You'll be defending it with your very lives in the next part of the challenge." He led them over to a jungle set. "Okay, let's get the next round started. It's a giant game of capture the flag! Except in this case, the flag is the trunk of mind blowing secrets. There's only one way to learn what's in the trunk, and that's to win the challenge. As your reward, we'll give you immunity from tonight's vote and a peek inside, but be ready. The secrets inside will blow your brains to bits!" "I need my brain", Harold said. "Not to worry. A roll of tape will be provided so you can tape the gray matter back together."

Chris walked over to a small building with a cover over it. "Gaffers, this is your base camp. Our set decoration team wanted to build you guys a towering castle full of defensive possibilities. But, they went to see a movie instead, so we're gonna give you this!" Chef pulled the cover off, revealing a broken down shed. It then collapsed. "Well, we WERE going to, but now it's broken. Good luck!" Chris walked away. "How are we going to defend this trunk with no fort?", Bridgette asked. "We'll put our heads together and come up with a group plan", Harold said. He picked up some shovels from the remains of the shed. "In old war movies, they always have under ground hiding places called foxholes." He handed Geoff a shovel. "I'm diggin' this plan!", Geoff said.

Meanwhile, Eva watched them through a pair of binoculars. "Okay, they're digging a hole for something. Let's go attack while they're busy!" "Ooh, I have an idea!", Izzy said. "My friend Explosivo says we should built a Trojan taco." "Ooh, I love Mexican food!", Lindsay said. Izzy grinned. "Okay, first we make a giant taco shell, five kilometers long. Then, we load it with beef, beans, veggies, and the salsa, my friends? The salsa is TNT! We bring the Trojan taco to their camp, they take a tasty bite, and then... boom boom!" "That's ridiculous", Eva said. "We don't have that kind of time. Let's just charge in and beat the snot out of them!" Owen groaned. "Can I go to the bathroom first?" Lindsay stood up on a chair. "Listen, friends, I know you're scared of going into battle, but I'm here to say be strong, be fierce, be ferocious, go and fight for that trunk like it's Boxing Day and you're fighting for the cutest pair of yoga pants! Show no mercy!" The Grips cheered and charged in. Eva got behind Owen and pushed him down the hill. "Oh yeah, here we go!" "But where did the Gaffers go?", Cody asked.

The Grips ran right by their foxhole. Owen started groaning again. "Oh, I think I'm gonna blow", he said. Eva turned and saw Harold peeking out of the foxhole. "There they are, let's get 'em!" She started pushing Owen again, but it was harder to do on a flat surface. She rolled him onto his stomach, and he farted. Loudly. A lot. His teammates began choking and falling over. "Come on, let's hit 'em while they're down!", Geoff said. He picked up a shovel and Harold pulled out his yoyos. They charged at the other team with Heather and Bridgette behind them. They wailed on the Killer Grips for a while, and then Chris walked up to them, applauding. "That was one great fight! Gaffers win!" The Gaffers cheered while the Grips choked and coughed. "Grips, on the other hand... you stink, and not just in a literal way. Still, geez, Owen, your farts should be banned by the Geneva conventions! I'll see your kicked butts at the gilded Chris ceremony tonight."

"And now, it's time to reveal to the winners the mind blowing secrets within this trunk. Here's what you were fighting for, teams." Chris opened the trunk, and the Gaffers looked inside. Their jaws dropped. "All this sadness..." "All these tears..." "No, that was just our eyes watering from Owen's butt blasts." "Still. All this hatred, for what? An empty trunk..." "The madness of war." "WHY!"

At the stadium that night, Chris walked up to the podium as the Grips made their votes. "This one's a nail biter", he said. "I'd say no one's safe tonight. Lindsay, trying to usurp control from Eva. Eva, being a total jerk about it. Cody, the weak link. Izzy, the overly enthusiastic demo expert. And Owen, the living gas bomb. Okay, votes have been tabulated, so it's time to present the awards. Tonight, the gilded Chrises go to Eva, Lindsay, Cody, and... Owen." Chef walked up and dragged Izzy away. Chris sighed. "Well, we finally got rid of little miss weird and weirder, and I don't think she'll be coming back again this time. Goodnight, everybody."


	12. Chapter 12

Chapter 12: Aftermath 2

It's the Total Drama Action Aftermath Show! The cameras turned on to show the applauding studio audience, then zoomed in on Katie and Sadie on the couch in the middle of the stage. The girls waved at the cameras. "Hi, everyone! We're so totally excited to be here!", Katie said. "Welcome to the Total Drama Action Aftermath show!", Sadie said. "Today we're gonna be talking to Izzy, DJ and Gwen. And maybe we can have Gwen talk to Trent about their breakup!" Sadie gasped. "That would be great! Maybe she could convince Trent to date one of us!" "I know, right?" Sadie nodded. "Oh, that reminds me! Trent's here, along with Duncan and Leshawna and the others who didn't make it in this season. Noah and Beth are over there." Katie waved. "Thanks for letting us host the show this time, guys!" Beth waved back. "No problem." Noah just rolled his eyes.

"So, there have been some pretty shocking eliminations since last time", Sadie said. "What do you guys think of what happened? Courtney?" Courtney turned away. "My lawyer has advised me not to comment at this time", she said. "Oh come on, what harm could it do?" "I'm trying to work my way into next season, and I don't wanna say the wrong thing before I get a reserved spot." Sadie shrugged. "Okay then. What about the rest of you?" "I still think it's sad that Gwen and Trent broke up", Beth said. Katie nodded. "Yeah, me too. Oh, how about we bring out Gwen first? Gwen, come on out here!"

She didn't come out. Katie shrugged. "Well, um, how about DJ?" "That works too", Sadie said. "Til he gets here, let's talk about those challenges!" "The horror movie one was so scary!", Katie said. "Oh yeah? I thought it was totally cool", Duncan said. "Too bad I got voted off, the Gaffers would've won for sure with my help." "What about the hospital challenge?", Katie asked. Sadie gasped. "Oh my gosh, I love medical dramas! Of course, I usually pay more attention to the drama than the medical practice. What about you guys?" "I've never seen one, eh", Ezekiel said. "Then again I haven't even seen reruns of last season yet." "Why not?" "My parents say TV is bad for you, eh." Duncan laughed. "Dude, stop listening to your parents so much. Be a rebel!" Noah rolled his eyes. "Yeah, listen to the convicted criminal when it comes to breaking rules", he said. Duncan glared at him.

"Speaking of medical stuff, anyone else feel sorry for Owen?", Katie asked. "I feel so totally bad!", Sadie said. "Poor guy, getting his jaw broken and being stuck with Chris..." "Yeah, that has to hurt." Sadie nodded in agreement. "Speaking of hurt, how about we do the That's Gonna Leave a Mark thing?" "Sure", Katie said. She picked up a remote, hit a button and the TV screen lit up, showing clips from the show. The clips in order were Harold getting hit by his own numyos four times, Owen's stretcher rolling out of the ambulance and into the sewer, Gwen hitting Harold with the golden shovel, and Heather throwing a spoon at Gwen. The audience laughed. So did Katiie. "Oh my gosh, who would've guessed Heather wanted to spoon Gwen like that?" Sadie hit her on the shoulder. "Enough with the action, let's move on to some drama now!"

"Hey DJ, come out and join us!", Katie yelled. DJ came out and waved at the audience. "Hey, everybody! What's up?" The audience cheered and DJ took a seat on the couch by Katie and Sadie's. "Hi, DJ! So good to see you! Sorry about the getting voted off part, though", Sadie said. "It's okay. Just about everyone gets voted off at some point", he said. "Yeah, but you were such a nice guy! I don't get why the voted you off in the first place." DJ shrugged. "I dunno... I guess it was because I'm so afraid of things. I mean, I couldn't handle scariness enough to be a decent fake serial killer, and I kept freaking out when the Grips were scaring us." Sadie hugged him. "Yeah, but bravery isn't everything. You're a total sweetie, I wouldn't have voted you off." DJ smiled and hugged her back. "Aww, same to you, girl." Katie smiled. "Awwwww... I think someone's getting a new boyfriend!" Sadie blushed and pulled away from DJ. "Oh don't be silly. But speaking of boyfriends, do you think Trent did the right thing, throwing challenges for her?" DJ pondered this for a minute. "Well... he was just trying to be nice... I think I would've done the same. Without the number nine thing though. Sorry, Trent." Trent smiled. "It's cool, man. I know I kinda lost it back then."

"What did you think of that deal Chef made you make?", Katie asked. DJ sighed. "Uh, well... I appreciated the offer, but mama always raised me not to cheat. Plus, the man kinda scares me. On the other hand it would be pretty cool to get some extra help with the challenges. Basically, he's a good guy and made a good deal, but I wasn't the right guy to accept it." "Yeah, and he got in big trouble with Chris, too", Sadie said. "If Chef ever lost his job, would you wanna take over for him?" "Yeah, everyone seemed to love that seasoning you brought." DJ shook his head. "No, I don't think I could handle it. Dealing with stressed out, poorly treated teens all summer? Don't think so."

"Okay, time for a webcam question!", Katie said. "This one's from Gordon." The TV screen turned on and showed a guy in a kitchen. "Hello, mates! I'm from London, Ontario, and I wanna be a chef! I'm making DJ's sandwiches, but there's some stupid freaking ingredient I can't freaking figure out, dammit!" "Oh my", Sadie said. "So, what IS your secret ingredient?" DJ looked nervous. "Well, it's mama's spice, not mine. I'm not sure she'd be okay with me telling you..." "Think it's time to play Truth or Hammer?", Noah yelled. The audience cheered and DJ cowered behind the couch. "It's paprika, okay? Two pinches of Hungarian paprika in the mayo! It zips a sandwich right up." The audience cheered again. DJ pulled out a pack of mini sandwiches. "Anyone want some?", he asked. "No thanks", said Sadie. "I'm trying to go on a diet. You know what they say, a moment on the lips, a lifetime on the hips." Katie quickly picked up and ate four of the sandwiches.

"Well, let's bring out our next guest!", Sadie said. Then, she got a call on her cell phone. "Hi there, you've reached Sadie! ...Huh? Oh my gosh, really? Wow, that's too bad! Okay, bye..." She put the phone down and sighed. "The producers just called. They said Izzy can't be on our show, she's being chased by the RCMP again." Katie gasped. "Oh my gosh, what for?" "They really don't like her being around explosives", Sadie said. "Oh well. We can still talk about her." "Well I think she was kind of insane", Noah said. "And annoying." "Oh you're just saying that cause she brought up that time you kissed Cody", Katie said. Noah crossed his arms and turned away. "My first statement still stands", he said. Katie nodded. "Yeah, she's crazy enough to make Trent's freak outs look normal in comparison." "She's crazy enough to make anyone look normal", Duncan said. "I could run through here in my underwear and you'd pay more attention to that chick than to me." "You're not gonna try to prove that, are you?", Courtney asked. Duncan smirked at her. "Do you want me to?" She glared and turned away.

"I think Izzy and Geoff are so cute together", Beth said. "The crazy girl and the wild guy, partying and stuff? If there were on the same teams, they could beat anyone else with sheer zanyness." "Is that even possible?", Katie asked. "Imagine if it was! That'd be the best show ever!", Beth responded. "Well, as long as they didn't kill anyone by mistake", Sadie said. "That would be a pretty neat show. But, we already have our own show! Let's get back to it."

Katie turned on the TV and played some clips of Gwen. "Gwen is so cool, even if she was kinda scary." "Yeah, and she was a good player, too. Everything totally went wrong for her, though! First her and Trent being on opposite teams, then Trent going all crazy, then Eva finding out and using it against her..." "That was so mean!" "I know, Eva was totally mean!" Katie and Sadie sighed. "At least Trent's single now, though", Katie said. "I know! He's totally hot!", Sadie said. "Hey, you get DJ, Trent's mine!" "No way!" "Well how about neither of us have him then?" Sadie sighed. "I guess that's fair. Anyway, it's time to get out here, Gwen!" After a minute, Gwen slowly walked on stage and over to the couch while half the audience cheered. The other half booed, and Gwen waved. "Uh, hi everyone." "Hi, Gwen! It must be tough coming out here", Katie said. "Sorry you have to", Sadie said. "Well, to kick things off, here's some interviews from between the Aftermath shows." Sadie turned on the TV and some of the campers not competing this season appeared.

"I'm on Gwen's side", Courtney said. "I stand by that, and do you know why? Because she made the right choices, unlike her loser boyfriend. She tried to win, and wouldn't let a man make it easier for her. She would rather go it alone than have her achievements lessened by him. She's a good role model if you ask me." 'I'm on team Trent", Ezekiel said. "He was just trying to be nice, eh. He did it in a totally whack way, but at least he tried." "I just thought it was funny", Tyler said. "I mean, things went downhill for both of them, that's the stuff this show was made for." Sadie turned the video off. "Well that was mean", she said. "So, Gwen", Katie asked, "why exactly did you break up with Trent? Because I watched that episode again and I don't really get it." "Can't we talk about something else?", Gwen asked. Katie pondered this. "Well, what do you think of your teammates that are left on the show?" "Bridgette's okay", Gwen said. "She was kinda my only friend on the team after Duncan left. Really never spent enough time with her on the island last season. Harold and Geoff? Didn't care for them. Harold's nice but annoying, and Geoff is just plain annoying." "What about Heather?", Sadie asked. Gwen glared. "Heather has become my rival. After losing to her last season I thought I'd get her on my team and use her skills to get to the merge, then vote her off as soon as I could after that. Too bad I didn't get the chance." "But why would you wanna do that? She's so nice!", Katie said. Gwen laughed. "Really? You really buy her nice girl act? She used you, Lindsay and Beth to get to the finals last season, and she's trying it again with Harold and Bridgette! She's only acting nice to get what she wants." "I think you're wrong", Katie said. "She may be kinda cruel sometimes, but deep down she's nice. She just isn't very good at it."

"Okay, now can we talk about Trent? Pleeeease?", Sadie asked. Gwen sighed. "Fine. Look, I still like Trent. I always liked Trent. I've got a lot of love for all of you guys." "Got some extra for anyone in particular?", Katie asked. "Duncan, maybe?" Some audience members gasped and Gwen ignored them. "Leshawna, a great girl, fantastic friend." "Glad you think so!", Leshawna yelled. "And DJ, have you tried his peach cobbler? It's unreal!" "Not what I meant", Katie said. "I mean relationship stuff, not friendship. So talk." Gwen shook her head. "Hey, Gwen and I are just friends", Duncan said. "Listen, I didn't do anything that bad", Gwen said. "People break up every day, and it's not like I did it to hook up with someone else." "Oh, sure", Katie said. "Then how do you explain this?" She picked up the remote and hit a button. A video of Gwen and Duncan looking at the stars appeared. They laughed about a constellation resembling Harold's butt, talked about Courtney, started play fighting, and then Duncan fell on top of Gwen. After a minute they both frowned.

Katie stopped the clip. "Ooh, scandalous", she said. "That was an accident!", Gwen yelled. "You saw that, he fell on top of me! Tell them, Duncan!" "Whatever. We were just messing around, not my problem if you guys don't see that." "Okay, enough!", Trent said. "Look, I threw the game, not Gwen. Nothing that happened was her fault." The audience applauded. "Plus, everything is awesome now. I met a ton of chicks, and Gwen's free to date- or NOT date- whoever she wants." "Trent, thank you", Gwen said. "Um, Trent, I'm so sorry, I didn't mean for everything to-" "It's cool. I still like you. We're still friends, right?" Gwen smiled. "Right." Katie, Sadie and the audience went "Aww..."

"Well, that's all the time we have today", Sadie said. "Everyone feel good about what we accomplished today?" "Definitely", Gwen said. "Same here", said Trent. Noah and Duncan shrugged and said "Whatever", then glared at each other. "Well, good! See you guys on the next Aftermath show!"


	13. Chapter 13

Chapter 13: The Unmentionables

The morning after Izzy was voted off, the cast members were having breakfast. Bridgette sighed and put her fork down. "I think I forgot something at the trailer, I'll be back soon." She got up and walked out of the craft services tent, but as soon as she was outside, an intern ran up and put a bag over her head. He dragged her away. Meanwhile, the Killer Grips were talking. "I feel so lucky to still be here", Lindsay said. "And I am back on track!", Owen said. "My jaw's healed up early, so I can finally eat like normal people again!" He picked up his food and shoved it down his throat. "I see you're using the term a bit loosely", Cody said. Owen sighed with satisfaction and got up. "Sorry guys, but there's a great smell coming from Chef's counter and seconds are a-waistin'!" He hopped over the table and ran to the kitchen, opened a pan and frowned. "Aww man, it was just steam! My sniffer must be getting rusty. Yoohoo, Cheffie-poo, come out, come out, wherever you are!" An intern opened the door behind Owen, put a bag over his head and dragged him outside.

Back in the main part of the tent, Chris cut a hole in the roof, dropped a rope through and slid down. "Wow, cool entrance, dude!", Geoff said. "Consider it a hint as to this week's movie genre", Chris said. "Is it an adventure movie?", Cody asked. Chris shook his head. "No, this week we're paying tribute to the action packed, bank heist gangster caper film." Cody raised his hand. "When's the challenge start? Our team is missing a player." "So is ours", Heather said. "Owen and Bridgette are gone, people", Chris told them. "because rescuing them is the first part of your challenge!" Lindsay and Cody gasped. Eva yawned. "They've both been locked up in state of the art safes, along with all the tools each team will need to commit a movie perfect bank robbery. Your job is to crack the safes, rescue your teammates, grab the equipment and try to be the first ones to rob the first national bank of Chris. Let's kick it, gangstas!", Chris said. He went back up his rope and out of the tent.

Heather sighed. "We really shouldn't have voted Duncan off", she said. "Chill out, dudette. We can totally win without him", Geoff said. "Let's hope you're right." The cast members ran to the vaults and began trying to open them. Harold started working on the combo lock for his team's door. "Hurry up, Harold!", Heather said. "Okay, just gimme a minute, gosh!", he said. "I wasn't team captain at Picky Steve's Lock Picking Camp for nothing." Meanwhile, Eva tried forcing her team's door open. "Come on, come on! Move!" "We gotta try the lock", Cody said. "This'll be way easier than last time we did this, since we can actually see what we're doing." He started working on it. "But don't we need some paper?", Lindsay asked. Cody sighed. "Baby, just let me take care of this." "Try my locker combination", Lindsay said. "It didn't change the whole three years I was in eighth grade, so it must be standard!" Cody facepalmed.

_Confession Cam: Cody_

"_I hate to say it, I mean really hate to say it, but I'm dating a moron! Sure, she's hot and incredibly sweet, but once we're off this island I need to give her some tutoring. Good thing I'm in the science club and a mathlete back home."_

Inside the vault, Owen started groaning. "Aww, get me outta here! I'm starving! I can't go this long without food!" "Owen, it's only been half an hour!", Eva said. "Exactly! I need something to nibble on between my morning snacks!" Eva growled and started pounding on the door. "Come on, open up already!" "Eva, that's not gonna work from the outside", Cody said. "If only you were in there with Owen... wait, that's it! We just gotta give him some inspiration! Anyone have some food?" "I have some perfume that smells like cotton candy", Lindsay said. Cody smiled. "That works. By the way, I love that stuff." Lindsay smiled, pulled out the perfume and sprayed some into the vent. Then she sprayed some on herself and batted her eyelashes at Cody, who blushed.

Inside the vault, Owen smelled it. "Oh, sweet whipped topping! There's candy out there! People shouldn't make me hungry. You wouldn't like me when I'm hungry!" He slammed against the door and forced it open, then looked at his teammates. He walked toward them, licking his lips. "Candy..." Cody went wide-eyed. "Okay, grab the gear from the vault and run!" They did so, and Owen chased after them. Over at the other vault, Harold cracked the lock. "Finally!", Heather said. She turned the handle and opened the door. Bridgette walked out, smiling. "Oh, thank goodness! I thought I'd be stuck in there forever." Heather smiled. "Anything to help a teammate. Now grab that bag over there, we have a challenge to win!" "We do?"

The teams headed for the bank set, with the Gaffers arriving first. They ran into the bank and walked up to the counter, where Heather slammed her hand down. "Alright, this is a robbery!" Harold, Geoff and Bridgette pulled out some prop guns. "Put the money in the bag, and no one gets hurt, got it?" Chris turned around and smiled at them. "Welcome, Gaffers! For beating the Grips to the scene, you get first crack at the teller!" "How is that even possible, they were a head of us!", Harold said. "Owen needed a snack break", Chris said. "Just stand there and I'll get the teller." Chris did so, and a blonde intern walked up to the counter. Heather pulled out her prop gun and rammed it against the intern's temple. "Gimme all the money, and no one gets hurt. And don't even THINK of calling the cops", she said. The intern nodded and began shoving cash into a bag, then handed it to Heather, who smiled. "Thank you!"

"And, the Gaffers win this round!" Eva ran through the door of the bank set. "What! Come on, you have to be kidding!" Chris shook his head. "Sorry, they got here first. You might be able to do a better robbery, but you can't rob a bank that just lost its money." Eva glared at Heather. "You win this round, but it won't happen again", she said. Chris cleared his throat. "Well, the bank is now robbed, but you guys need to escape before the cops show up. Your getaway cars are waiting!" The teams ran out of the bank. Harold smiled. "Getaway cars are always cool", he said. "That's the rule of heist movies." "I know, dude! We're totally gonna get a wicked hot rod!", Geoff said. "But where the heck is it?"

The teams ran around looking, and found what would be their cars atop the mountain set. When they arrived, Chris drove up in his sports car. "These are your getaway cars, just waiting to be assembled", he said. "That is so cheap", Heather said. "If the vehicles were ready to go, it wouldn't be much of a challenge, now would it?" The cast members groaned and Chris drove away. He crashed his car. "Aww, crap!"

The teams started building their cars. "This'll be a piece of cake", Geoff said. "I know a lot about cars thanks to my big bro. Don't know much else, though." "I'm a decent mechanic myself", Harold said. "All thanks to my time at Wheelie Steve's Go-Cart Camp." Nearby, the Grips were shoving random pieces together. "Okay, where do the wheel go?", Eva asked. "We need to build the chassis first", Cody said. "Owen, could you- wait, where's Owen?" He looked down the hill and saw him chasing Lindsay on a set of wheels, with a wild look in his eyes. "Moovie snaaacks..." "What are you talking about!"

The Grips finished building their vehicle, and Harold scowled. "Gosh, it's not even a getaway car! It's just a go-cart!" "Just hop in, dude", Geoff said. "Heather? Wanna ride shotgun?" Geoff grinned and Heather rolled her eyes. "Fine." She got in beside him, while Harold and Bridgette got in the back. "Okay, let's go win this!" The grips drove off and Eva growled. "We can't let them win!", she said. "But we haven't even finished our cart yet!", Cody said. Eva picked up the other set of wheels. "We'll just do what Owen did, come on!" She picked Cody up and started rolling. The Gaffers were already halfway down the hill, and drove through a bunch of costumes. When they came out, Heather was in a clown outfit, Geoff was dressed as a baby, Bridgette had hippie clothes on, and Harold had a bra. Everyone started laughing at him.

_Confession Cam: Harold_

"_Okay, that was humiliating. But the extra support was nice, Heather should start wearing those."_

The Gaffers reached the bottom of the hill and were heading toward a huge truck. They screamed and hit it, but it turned out to be picture on a screen. Then they did the same with screens showing the end of a road, a bunch of cop cars forming a barricade, and the planet Jupiter. They they hit an extra from a pirate movie. Behind them, the Grips were picking up speed on their way downhill. Owen ran into Lindsay and started gnawing on her arm. "Hey, get off of her! The only guy who can put their mouth on Lindsay is me!", Cody yelled. Bridgette turned around and saw the Gaffers. "Oh my gosh, they're gaining on us! Speed up!", she said. Geoff floored the gas pedal, but the go-cart stopped. "What's happening?" "I think we're out of gas! Get out and push!" They did so, and got to the finish line right before the rolling Grips. Chris waved a checkered flag and announced "The Screaming Gaffers win!" The Gaffers cheered while Eva growled. "That means I'll be seeing the Grips at tonight's gilded Chris ceremony. And Gaffers, you get to enjoy victory and your bag of loot."

The Gaffers went back to the trailers, went in one and poured the contents of the bag out on a table. "We're rich!", Geoff said. "Look at all this-" "Non negotiable cash, accepted only in the Total Drama Action crafts services tent towards the purchase of water from tap!" Heather screamed, and then left the trailer. "I'm gonna be generous. YOU can all have the money!"

After dinner, it was time for the ceremony. The Grips went to the stadium and sat down. "The time has come", Chris told them. "Like always, Killer Grips, one of you will not be receiving a gilded Chris, made of the finest Belgian chocolate. Let's see who it's gonna be this week!" The cast members made their votes. Chef came down from the roof on a rope and handed the results to Chris. "Gilded Chris awards go to Eva, Lindsay, and... Cody." Owen sighed. "Aww... okay, fine. I'll go. But can I at least have your Chris awards as a parting gift?" Cody threw his at Owen's face and glared at him. "Fine, take it. Now get lost!" Eva raised an eyebrow. "What's with you?" "He tried to eat my girlfriend! I believe I have a right to be angry." Lindsay hugged him. "Thanks, Cody." He smiled. "No problem, babe." Owen ate his gilded Chris and walked away. "Well, bye guys! See you later!"


	14. Chapter 14

**A note to any younger readers: This chapter is a tad more mature than usual, or at least the final paragraph is. Nothing truly inappropriate happens, it's just the dialogue, and it isn't anything that would be rated "for mature audiences", but still. Just wanted to warn you. And now, on with the story.**

Chapter 14: The Land After Grime

A few days later, the cast members had some free time in the morning before the day's challenge. The girls were talking in their trailer. "How long are you gonna keep your hair in pigtails?", Lindsay asked Heather. "Until Katie and Sadie and I aren't friends anymore", Heather said. "I'm fine being a little girlier than before. It helps me look like a nice person." "Yeah, it's totally effective", Eva said sarcastically. "If it were that easy, Gwen would have trusted you more." Heather walked up to Bridgette and put her hand on her shoulder. "Hey, it's her loss, not mine. I've got a great alliance, and she lost her chance at a million bucks. Right, Bridgette?" Bridgette smiled. "Right. We're going straight to the finals just like you did last season."

_Confession Cam: Bridgette_

"_Do totally trust Heather? No. But if I told her that, then she and Harold would probably vote me off. Besides, if I DO make it to the final three with her, I think Harold and I would team up to take her down. Or, at least that's what I'm counting on..."_

Lindsay began combing her hair, but it wasn't working. "Oww, I've got my hair in a knot!", she said. Heather walked up and took the stuck brush from her. "Here, let me help." She yanked it and it came out, leaving Lindsay wincing in pain. "Oww... uh, thanks, I guess." Heather frowned. "Sorry about that. Sometimes all you can do is force it out." Eva smirked. "Yeah, and I'm gonna force you and your team straight out of the competition!"

Meanwhile, in the other cabin, the guys were talking as well. Cody was applying some cologne, and Harold was coughing. "Dude, how can you stand that stuff?", He asked between coughs. "It's supposed to attract the ladies", Cody told him. "I need to look, act and smell cool for my girlfriend." Geoff laughed. "Good thing Izzy's so crazy. She curls her own hair with corn cobs, so I don't gotta worry about my appearance." Harold sighed. "Gosh, you guys are so lucky. I've never had a girlfriend." Cody patted his shoulder. "It's okay, dude. You'll get one someday, I know it. You've got plenty of mad skills, it's just a matter of time before someone finds them impressive." Harold smiled. "Thanks, Cody... do you think I have a chance with Heather?" Cody laughed.

Suddenly the campers heard an odd sound. They walked out of the cabins to find Chris in a loincloth, blowing into an oversized horn. "Talk about your fashion faux pas", Heather said. "Is that seriously a loincloth?" "Like it?", Chris asked. Cody burst out laughing. "Oh, that's so funny! Laughing so much, haha, it hurts!" Chris glared at him. "Oh, you think that hurts? Wait til you hear today's challenges. Now, let's get started. Today's challenges should help bring out your more primal instincts. We're doing a period movie!" "Won't that be kinda bloody?", Eva asked. Cody looked sick. "No, not that kind of period! I mean a TIME period! The paleolithic period, to be precise, which I thought you guys would've guessed by my loincloth." "Paleolipstick? Is that a new brand?", Lindsay asked. "It's the stone age", Cody said. "No talking!", Chris yelled. "Cave people just grunt and look confused, which means for once you're all perfectly cast. Cave people in prehistoric flicks do two things: make fire and use tools made of bones. Technically, you should also know how to bring down a mammoth with a stick, but since Owen's no longer here, we won't be testing that."

Chris walked over to a costume rack with fur loincloth clothes and bone accessories. "Here are your costumes. Get into character, people!" "You've gotta be kidding", Heather said. "I never kid. Well, actually I do, but never about something this funny." Lindsay hugged Eva. "Oh, you're perfect for this role! With that unibrow, you already sorta look like a cavegirl!" Eva growled and pushed Lindsay away. Geoff got into costume and laughed. "Dudes, I look just like Tarzan! Well, except for the blonde hair and blue eyes. And I don't have a tan. And I have a cowboy hat. Okay, forget the looking like Tarzan thing..." The others got into costume as well, and then Chris checked in on them. "Wow, guys, I must say, you look pre-hysterical!" "Who knew I'd look so hot in leopard skin?", Harold said. "I think mine still has a claw in it", Eva said. "Chef, bring the tools for the first stone age challenge please", Chris said. Chef walked by the cast members and handed them the tools. "Here's your rocks", he said. "Rocks? Aren't we taking this stone age thing a bit too literally?", Cody asked. "Your first task is making fire. First team to collect the hidden firewood and use those flints to get it burning earns something to help them with the second challenge. Ready? And... action!"

The teens split up and began collecting firewood, but Harold ran into trouble. "Help, help! It's after me! AAAGH!" He ran by Eva with a tusked beaver chasing him. Chris walked up, laughing. "Looks like Harold found the beaver dam from the set of Rodents Who Kill!" "Those things are animatronic, right?", Eva asked. "Animatronic? Of course!" Chris turned away from Eva and winked at the camera. Soon after, The teams finished collecting wood and put it into their fire pits. Then they started making fire. "I don't get it, how do you make fire with a rock? Is this like rock paper scissors?", Lindsay asked. Eva growled. "Gimme those. I can do this."

_Confession Cam: Lindsay _

"_Eva and Cody think they're so smart, but I know things they don't. I bet they don't know that when I was twelve, my flat iron accidentally set fire to my grandma's house twice!"_

"Things are finally heating up!", Chris said. After a few minutes of failing to light anything, Eva threw the rocks down, grumbling. Lindsay took them and bashed them together, producing a huge spark and a roaring fire. "Fire!", she said. Eva gasped while Cody and Lindsay cheered. "And the Grips win round one!", Chris said. "Follow me for the second challenge!" He led the teams over to a fake tar pit. "Before we get started, Chef will pass out your reward from the first challenge. Chef, weapons please", Chris said. Chef walked up with a pile of bone clubs. "For cave people, bones were cutting edge technology. Since Lindsay and her team won the first challenge, they get bigger clubs. These are all you guys have to fight your enemies with." "Who are the enemies?", Geoff asked. "Each other, of course. Grip tribe versus Gaffer tribe." Eva grinned, crept up behind Geoff and knocked him over with her club. "I like your enthusiasm, Eva, but you'll be fighting over there", Chris said. He pointed at two rock towers in the middle of the tar pit. "The player who knocks his or her opponent off the column into the fake bubbling tar pit scores a point for their team. Best two out of three wins."

First up was Cody versus Heather. "When do we start?", Heather asked. "Oh, don't worry, you'll know!" Chris laughed and blew into his oversized horn again. Cody fell over from the sound wave and landed in the pit below. "Okay, that was way too easy", Heather said. "That's one point for the Gaffers!" Lindsay ran up to the pit. "Cody, are you okay?" He came up gasping for air. "Yeah, feels like bubbling warm mud." "Ooh, I wonder if it's like a mud bath!" Then, a strange bird call came from above. Everyone looked up to see some giant geese. "Uh-oh. Looks like the horn has attracted some prehistoric pterodactyls!", Chris said. "Chris, those are just geese", Cody said. "Just roll with it, okay? This ought to make things interesting." Next up was Eva against Geoff. She hit him once and he fell over into the tar. "And that earns a point for the Grips! It's all tied up now. And for the last round, it's Harold versus Lindsay!"

The two players climbed up the towers and readied their weapons. "Prepare to face my mad ninjalike skills!", Harold said. "Oh yeah? Prepare to face my... uh... giant club!" Chris blew his horn and the fight began. Lindsay took a few swings at Harold, but he dodged them all. Then he hit Lindsay. "Hey, watch it!", she said. She took a few more swings and Harold bent backward to avoid them. He took another swing at Lindsay, but she backed up. She nearly fell off the column. "Lindsay, watch it!", Cody said. "Don't back up, or you'll fall off!" Lindsay gasped and smiled. "Oh my gosh, that gives me an idea!" She moved to the front edge of the column and took a swing at Harold. He bent over to dodge it. She took another swing and Harold backed up. Finally, she threw the club at him and hit his legs. Harold lost his balance and fell over, landing in the tar pit. "And the Grips win!", Chris announced. Cody and Eva cheered. Lindsay bowed, but fell over into the tar. She came up smiling. "Oh my gosh, it IS like a mud bath!"

Chef drove up in a golf cart with a giant rack of ribs on top. "For winning today's challenge, the Grips get a mammoth sized prehistoric barbeque!" They cheered. "Don't worry. The Grips may have won the reward, but I'm not gonna let the Gaffers go hungry." Chris pulled out an egg and tossed it to Harold. "A pterodactyl egg?" "Should be enough for four. Besides, you never made your fire, so you can go do that and cook it." Chef got out of the golf cart, and it fell over into the tar pit. The Grips gasped. Chris laughed. "Look at the bright side", he said. "You still have your bones, so maybe you can hunt for dinner." The Gaffers laughed. "Now that's gotta hurt", Harold said. Then, the giant geese came back. "Um, Harold? I think they want their egg back", Chris said. Harold ran as the bird took a nosedive toward him. Eva ran up, screaming and flailing her club. She hit the bird and knocked it out. Chris shrugged. "Well, it probably tastes like chicken. You guys can have that tonight."

Eva and Geoff roasted the bird over one of the fires, while Harold and Bridgette cooked the egg over the other one. Cody walked over to Eva, smiling. "Good job getting us some food", he said. "Also, have you seen Lindsay?" Eva shrugged and Cody sighed. Just then, Lindsay crept up behind Cody with her club and hit him over the head. He fell over, groaning, and Lindsay began pulling him away by his leg. "Yes, I did it! Now come on, you're gonna explore my cave!" She pulled him back to the girls' trailer and laid him down on one of the beds. "Okay, let's do this, Cody! ...Cody? Hello?" Cody had fallen unconscious. Lindsay glared at him and crossed her arms. "Oh, come on! This is what I get for winning the challenge?"


	15. Chapter 15

Chapter 15: Boxing Day

A few days later, Chris woke the cast members up by blowing a trumpet. Harold quickly sat up in bed and yelled "I can't take the shelling anymore, sarge! I just can't take it!" He started sniveling, and then Geoff got up. "Dude, we're not at boot camp. It's just Chris trying to bug us." "That's even worse!", Harold said. "Hm... good point." They got up and walked out of their trailer and so did the girls. Chris walked up, still playing his trumpet, wearing a marching band hat and carrying a one man band drum on his back. "Morning, sports fans!", he said. "Who's ready to put up a good offense?" Eva smirked. "I know I am", she said. Chef walked up behind Chris, carrying food on a tray. "Spaghetti here! Get your piping hot spaghetti here!" He picked up a ball of pasta and hurled it at Lindsay, who caught it, and then did the same for everyone else. Cody got hit in the face and fell over. "Whoa, whoa, watch it!", he said. "Geez, talk about your fast food." "That was breakfast", Chris said. Lindsay looked confused. "Pasta for brekkie?" "It's called carbo-loading, contestants. Today, you're all going to give two hundred percent in our exciting sports movie challenge!" Eva tossed her pasta into the air and caught it. "Ah, finally! A decent challenge again!" She took a bite out of her pasta. "You are aware that two hundred percent is a mathematical impossibility", Harold pointed out. Chris threw some spaghetti at him. "Suck that spaghetti down, you loveable underdogs headed for certain failure. We've got a training run!"

The campers ran after Chris to a football stadium and stopped to breathe in the middle. "That all you got, sports fans? Man up!", he told them. "It's time for more action!" "Three cups of spaghetti followed by a three kilometer run? All I'm ready for is passing out", Bridgette said. She sat down on the field and rubbed it. "Wait, what is this? Plastic grass?" "AstroTurf, actually. Today's competition is gonna require sweat, guts, heart, and sweat." "You said sweat twice", Heather said. "That's cause it's not just your sweat you'll be dealing with. There's Chef's sweat, too!" Chris pointed at Chef, who was drenched with it after doing jumping jacks. "You'll be pushing him the length of the field, and he just ate a huge jar of jalapeno peppers, so he's spraying like a gym class shower." "Aww, but I hate sweat!", Lindsay said.

Before this chapter continues, I must say I am not an athlete. I don't really recognize half the stuff in this episode, so my apologies in advance for getting the terminology wrong and stuff. If you get confused and want to see what I'm talking about, go watch episode 15 of TDA. Okay, back to the story.

Meanwhile, Chef walked up and hopped onto a roller thingy behind a punching bag thing. "You mean we gotta push Chef like he's a football dummy?", Geoff asked. "Don't call me a dummy", Chef said. "I am NOT swapping sweat with an oversized jalapeno", Heather said. Geoff patted her shoulder. "Oh come on, it won't be that bad." Chris blew a whistle and the Gaffers ran up to the roller thingy. They pushed against it and tried to move it, but it wasn't working. Chef smirked. "That all you got? I can push better than that on my day off!" Heather glared at him. "Shut up, pepper breath!" She growled and pushed harder. The others did the same, and the roller fell over. Heather sighed and turned to her team. "Alright. As of right now, we're playing hardball." Chris blew his whistle again. "Grips, you're up!" Eva walked over, set the roller upright and got in front of it. She smirked at Chef, who looked a tad scared. Eva rammed against the punching bag thing and knocked it over instantly. The Gaffers gasped. "Oh boy..."

Next up, the teams ran through an obstacle course. The Grips started with the tire stepping, but they all got stuck. "These are so not normal tires", Lindsay said. "My feet keep getting stuck!" Chris walked up to them. "Aww, really? I'm sorry", he lied. "Wait til you get a load of the mouse traps!" Right on cue, the mouse traps in the tires went off and the Grips yelped and flailed their legs. "Snap to it, losers!" After both teams went through this trauma, they had to crawl through a mud pit under some barbed wire. "I've never had to do this during football practice!", Geoff told Chris. Chris laughed. "I know, I just thought it'd be fun to watch! And let me tell ya, it is!" The cast members groaned and crawled out. "Well that truly bit", Eva said. "Who won, anyway?" Chris pulled out a clip board and examined it. "Let's see. Huh, three, carry the five... nobody!" The teens looked confused. Chris put the clip board away. "It was just to establish who's playing who for the real contest to follow."

Chris pointed over to a scoreboard with four sections on it. Three of them were lit up, each with a different human figure on it. "We're running three sporto contests with competitors seeded according to these results." The scoreboard changed to a list of the campers, each team getting one side of the board. Lindsay was across from Harold, Eva was across from Geoff, and Cody was across from Heather and Bridgette was by herself. Lindsay smiled. "Ooh, seeded? There's a gardening challenge?"

_Confession Cam: Lindsay_

"_Okay, so he meant like sports seeding, I knew that! But if there was a gardening challenge, I would seriously kick butt! I mean, nobody can even TOUCH my tomatoes! My melons, on the other hand, are always a bit too squishy... Hmm. Wonder how I can fix that."_

For the first challenge, Chris led the campers into a nearby building and over to a boxing ring. Harold and Lindsay stepped into the ring as well. Chris pulled down a microphone. "In the right corner, ner, ner... From the Killer Grips, ips, ips, ips... The blonde bombshell, the live lollapalooza, the blue eyed bruiser... Liiiiiiiindsayyyyyyyy!" Chris hit a button and some recorded cheering was heard. Lindsay smiled. "And in the left corner, ner, ner... From the Screaming Gaffers, ers, ers, ers... the deluded dork, the lightweight loser, the knock-kneed numbskull, Haaaaaarollllllllld!" Harold looked confused. "Me? Why me?" "Because you and Lindsay came in last in the football drills. Loser versus loser!" Lindsay frowned. "We're going to build to the top two players. Harold held up his fists. "Glove me", he said. Chris gave him some gloves that looked like oversized marshmallows. "What the heck?" "Marshmallow props", Chris explained, "so you don't hurt those pretty actor faces. And, in true boxing movie tradition, you'll be fighting in slooooowwwwwww moooootiiiooooonnnn..." Lindsay looked confused. "Why are you talking like that?"

Chris stepped to the edge of the ring and hit a bell. Lindsay and Harold approached each other, eyes narrowed. Harold dodged before Lindsay even tried to hit him. "I'm not losing to you again", he said. "You're... goiiing... dooooowwwn..." He threw a slow punch and Lindsay quickly dodged. Then she threw her own punch. "Take that!" She hit him between the eyes and he slowly reeled backwards. He groaned, very slowly. He stopped and began inching forward again. "How does he do that?", Heather asked. Geoff shrugged. "I dunno, the nerd's got skills." Harold threw another very slow punch and Lindsay blocked it. She took a bite out of Harold's glove. "Mmm, tasty!", she said. Eva glared and yelled at her. "Hurry up and beat the snot out of him!" She punched him again and Harold slowly bent back, then fell over.

Chris hit the bell again. "Round two!", he said. Chef walked around the ring in a bikini, holding up a card with a number 2 on it. The contestants groaned and tried not to vomit. Harold crouched down and did some uppercuts as Lindsay approached, then did some half hearted punches. She dodged them all. "Come on, Harold, you can do this!", Bridgette yelled. Harold smiled. "Why, thanks, Bridgette! It's nice to hear someone- OWW!" Lindsay punched him in the face again and he dropped to the floor. Chris knelt down beside him. "One... two... three... fourfivesixseveneightnine and ten!" He stood up and held the microphone. "And the winner is, is, is, is..." He bent down and lifted Harold's arm. "Harold and the Screaming Gaffers!" His teammates cheered, while the other team stared at Chris. "Huh? But I knocked him out!", Lindsay said. "He scored a bunch of extra points for doing such great slow motion", Chris explained. "Plus, I had to dock you for biting. Very unsportsmanlike, miss Tyson." Lindsay glared at him. "This was fixed! Ref's goin' down!" Cody climbed into the ring and grabbed her arm. "Lindsay, I like all the energy, but now's not the time. Calm down."

For the next round, Chris brought the cast members back outside and over to a badminton court. Cody picked a racket. "Were you trying to have a tennis challenge? If so, you got the wrong equipment." "I know what I'm doing. We're doing a badminton challenge, not tennis." "There was never a sports movie about badminton", Harold said. Chris glared at him. "There WAS a movie about badminton, and it was awesome. And, it starred the very talented me!" The teens were unimpressed. "Thanks for asking. I'd love to recreate my finest scene", he said. He took Cody's racket and walked onto the court. "I just want you to know, you guys are the best darn badminton players I've had the pleasure of coaching. You are beacons of freedom! Go show the Olympic committee we deserve a shot! Show them... it's not badminton, it's goodminton! Heck, it's greatminton! Now get out there and win one for the flipper!" Chef started crying.

Chris walked off the court, sat down in a chair and put a baseball cap on. "Battling for supremacy in our second round, Cody and Heather." The contestants walked onto the court and picked up their rackets. "Me against him? Piece of cake", Heather said. "Watch the birdie!", Chris said. He tossed a fake bird to Cody. "Feathers are about to fly", Heather said. "You can do it, Cody!", Lindsay said. Cody served it and it flew over the net. Heather tossed it back and scored a point. "Serve to Heather", Chris said. Heather picked up the bird, served it and scored another point. In the stands, Lindsay stood up. "Cody! Look what I've got!" Cody turned and saw Lindsay applying some lip gloss. She smiled and batted her eyelashes. "You win this round, and we'll have a nice make out session tonight!", She said. Cody blushed and smiled. "Alright, got it!" Heather served again and Cody hit the birdie into the air. He ran up to the net and hit it over. It landed right in front of Heather, who glared at him. "Lucky shot", she said. "You can do it, Heather! No mercy!", Bridgette said. "You can do it, alliance buddy!", Harold said. Heather glared at him. "Harold, shut it!" She turned back to the game and saw that Cody had already scored another point. "Time for the tie breaker!", Chris said. Cody served the birdie and Heather hit it back. They hit it back and forth for a while, and then finally Cody jumped up and spiked it. It landed. Chris picked up and blew a whistle. "We have a winner!", He said. Lindsay and Eva ran up to Cody. They cheered and carried him over to the bleachers, while Chris smiled. "Now that's some greatminton!"

Before the next challenge, the cast members went back into the building with the boxing ring and sat in the bleachers. "So what do you think the next challenge is?", Bridgette asked. "Silence!" Chef appeared, pulling Chris in an old chariot, both of them wearing togas. Chris also had some branches by his ears. "The score is one to one!", Chris said. "The mighty Eva will attempt to brrreak the tie in Grrreco Roman wrrrestling with the Scrrreaming Gaffers' chosen warrior!" Eva stood up and jumped for joy. "Aww, yeah! We've got this challenge in the bag!" Cody smiled. "Wow. I've never seen Eva so happy. Wonder if we can keep her that way." Heather stood up. "What do you mean by chosen warrior?", she asked. Chris dropped his odd accent and looked at her. "Bridgette and Geoff did better than you and Harold in the football practice events, but there's only one more challenge, so one of them has to face Eva in the ring. Fight amongst yourselves until you make a decision, k?"

The Gaffers got off the bleachers and huddled up. Heather looked at the two options. "Okay, which of you wants to do this?" "I think I should", Geoff said. "I'm bigger and tougher, I think I can handle Eva." "Yeah, but I'm a better athlete", Bridgette said. "Only on water. This is a land based challenge, and after you nearly killed Courtney last season I think it's safe to say that land challenges are not your thing." Bridgette sighed. "Okay. Just make sure we win, okay?" Geoff nodded and smiled. "Trust me, I will. No worries, dudes."

Geoff pulled his shirt off and removed his hat, then stepped into the ring. Eva didn't remove anything and stepped into the ring as well. Then, Chris pulled a rope hanging nearby. A ball pit and glass walls fell from the ceiling. Geoff looked around. "Wait, we need to wrestle in this? How are we gonna pin each other with these toys underfoot?" "Like this!", Eva said. She jumped and tackled him and they began fighting atop a layer of plastic balls. They rolled onto something pointy and Geoff yelped in pain. "Oww, what the heck!" He reached behind him and pulled out a pin. "Where did this come from?" He and Eva looked around and found a dirty diaper nearby. "Dude, gross!" Eva looked sick. "I'm fine with playing dirty, but that isn't what I had in mind." They resumed wrestling, and rolled onto something painful again. This time Geoff reached and found a bottle. "Dude, where did you even get this ball pit, a daycare center?" "Mama?", a young child asked. Chef came down on a rope and pulled the child out, and then the wrestling resumed. Geoff tackled Eva but she flipped them over. She put Geoff in a headlock until his face turned blue. "Okay, that's enough! We have a winner!", Chris said. Eva let Geoff go so he could breathe, and stood up. She sighed and walked out of the ball pit, smiling.

Chris walked up and patted her shoulder. "Congrats, Eva. Tonight, victory belongs to the Killer Grips!" Cody and Lindsay cheered. Eva smirked. "Told ya we had this challenge in the bag", she said. Geoff climbed out of the ball pit and fell over, still struggling to breathe. "Oh, dude... that was nasty..." Chris walked over to the other Gaffers. "Losers, I'll see you at the theater stadium tonight." And so he did. After having dinner and some time to rest, the Gaffers walked to the stadium. "I'm really sorry I lost, dudes", Geoff said. "No hard feelings, right?" "No hard feelings", Bridgette said. Geoff smiled. "Cool."

He and the others took their seats in the bleachers and Chris walked up to his podium. "So, the Gaffers loose once again. You guys must feel terrible. Geoff, losing a wrestling match to a girl. And Heather, losing at sports against Cody of all people! Bridgette, you didn't even compete, so I think Harold might be the only one who's safe tonight." Harold nodded. "Well, Chris, I-" "Zip it, dork, nobody wants to hear it! Just take the statue." Chris threw a gilded Chris to Harold, and another to Bridgette. "Since you didn't really lose, you're safe too. And the final award goes to... Heather." Heather smiled and caught her award as Chris threw it. Geoff turned to his team and frowned. "But... I thought you said no hard feelings!" "There aren't any. But still, the rest of us are kind of in an alliance", Bridgette said. "Sorry, Geoff." Geoff sighed and walked to the limo. "Well... fine then. Good luck to ya, dudes. If one of you guys has a party after you win, be sure to invite me!" Bridgette waved. "Don't worry, we will!" After the limo drove away, she sighed. "Well, great. Now we're the only ones left on our team. What happens if we lose again?"

_Confession Cam: Eva_

"_Sure it's great that I won. I knew I could do it before the challenge even started. Still, only Cody, Lindsay and I are left on our team, and they're dating. So the question is.. what happens if we lose next time?"_


	16. Chapter 16

**Anyone who gets the reference Heather makes wins a free hat.**

Chapter 16: Bonds, Changed Bonds

The next day, the cast members had just finished lunch and were walking back to the trailers. Heather groaned. "Geez, I wish Chef would make something I can actually tolerate eating. If I keep munching on the crud he makes, I'll be reduced to a skeleton." "I know what you mean", Harold said. "I think my hypoglycemia is acting up." They reached the trailers and Lindsay tried to open the girls' one. The door wouldn't budge, so she began pounding on it. "Door, it's me, Lindsay, from this morning! You remember, right?" Then, a camera came down from the roof of the trailer. After a few seconds, an alarm went off. "Intruder alert! Entry denied!", it said. Somehow, the steps leading up to the trailer turned into a ramp and the ground in front of it opened up. Lindsay fell into the newly made hole. Cody gasped and ran over to the edge. "What in the-" He got shot in the neck by a tranquilizer dart and fell in. Eva ran up to the edge next, and a bowler hat flew by and hit her. Somehow this knocked her over, into the hole. "Run for cover!", Heather yelled.

Heather and her team ran into the other cabin and slammed the door shut. "I always knew the producers were mean, but now I think they're actually trying to kill us!", Harold said. "We are not gonna die", Heather said. "Just barricade the door and stay away from the windows." Harold nodded and began piling chairs in front of the door. "That should do it", she said. Then, a can was thrown through the window. It burst open, spraying a strange purple gas. Within seconds, the Gaffers were unconscious.

The teens all awoke in a large cave. They groaned and stood up. "Where are we?", Lindsay asked. "I think we're in an under ground set. There's lights and cameras over there, and a big TV projector", Cody said. After he mentioned it, the projector lit up and it showed Chris, sitting with a cat and wearing an eye patch. He laughed evilly- well, more evilly than usual. "Welcome, too ze cloak and daggerrr world auf spy movees, MAN and woMAN", he said. "What's with the bad Jamaican accent?", Lindsay asked. Chris scowled at Lindsay from his end of the video feed and dropped the accent. "Actually it's Russian, and I should know, because I am an actOR!", Chris said. "Any good spy in any good spy movie must have three essential skills: one, the ability to deactivate a bomb. Two, the ability to escape an exploding building. And three: the ability to fake an accent that makes people believe you actually speak another language." Chris resumed using his. "Like-a mah fab Russian accENT, man!" He then dropped it again. "You'll need two of these skills to get through today's reward challenges. Can you guess which two? Let me give you a hint- it's not the third one." Chris laughed extra evilly again.

"Does anyone know anything about bombs?", Heather asked. "Oh, I do!", Lindsay said. "Too bad, because we already know Cody doesn't. Wish the other team didn't have any skills." "Oh, one last thing", Chris said. "Because I'm so bored of the teams, I'm busting 'em up! From now on, it's every dude and dudette for themselves. I'll see you back on solid ground. So, let the spying begin!" The video feed ended. Heather smirked. "Good thing we still have our alliance, right Bridgette? Harold?" "Yeah, sure", Harold said. "Now how do we get out of here?" Lindsay walked toward a prop that looked like a cave entrance. "I say we go this way", she said. She walked into it and hit her head. "Oww, not again!" Cody sat down on a nearby rock, and two sections of the wall slid apart. "Cool, a secret exit!", he said. "Way to go, Cody!", Lindsay said. Everyone ran into the gap and took an elevator up.

The emerged on the top floor of a fancy tower. "Wow, cool room", Cody said. "This is like something out of that spy movie, The Ultimate Ultimatum", Harold said. A projector on the ceiling turned on and showed Chris, this time without the cat and eye patch. "Don't I look awesome in blue?", he asked the teens. "Now, for the first part of the spy movie challenge. See that case in the middle of the room? The one with the bag in it? You have to get what's inside, cause you're gonna need it for part two of the challenge." "Fine then", Eva said. She walked toward the case, but then a beam of red light appeared in front of her. "Ahem", Chris said, "I need to finish. You gotta get the bag without setting off the alarm. But be careful, those lasers will cut you clear in half. Lindsay gasped. "Oh my gosh, can they remove hairs?" "No." "Aww..." Eva sighed. "Well, this sucks."

The teens began crawling and creeping through the array of lasers. Bridgette was muttering to herself. "Please don't let me trip, please don't let me trip..." Heather was making good progress, but singed one of her pigtails on a light beam. "Geez, I should've gotten a haircut between seasons", she said. Cody was making even better progress than her. Lindsay cheered from where she'd gotten stuck. "Go, baby, go!" He got over to the case and caught his breath. "Okay, now what?" "Smash it open!", Lindsay said. "I wouldn't do that", Harold said. "The case is probably booby trapped." Cody sighed. "Um... okay..." He pulled out a calculator and smashed the glass case. The lasers around the room turned off. Lindsay smiled and stared. "Wow, I was right!" Cody opened the bag and removed the contents. "Hey, it's just a grappling hook gun and some wire cutters... wait, grappling hook gun? Oh no."

The projector turned on again. "The room blows up in ten, nine, eight..." Chris counted down as the teens ran around, screaming. "Seven, six, five, four..." Linday hugged Cody and kissed him. "I love you, Cody!" "I love you too, Lindsay!" Then they started making out. "You guys should have listened to me!", Harold yelled. Meanwhile, Eva went over to a window and punched a hole in it. "Three, two, one... Psych!" Chris laughed. "Man, you should've seen the looks on your faces!" Eva glared at Chris. "Not funny, Chris!" "It is to me. Anyway, you'll need that gun and the wire cutters for the next spy challenge. Whether Cody will share them is another question. Oh, by the way, the first countdown was just a test. Real countdown begins... now! Thirty, twenty nine, twenty eight..." Cody ran to the window Eva broke and fired the grappling hook gun out of it. It hit another building. "Come on, come on!" Everyone went down the line, with Cody leaving last. "Get ready for the fireworks!", Harold said. He jumped off the roof he landed on to the far side of the building, and the others followed him. But... nothing happened. "What, another false alarm?" "I swear I'm gonna kill that guy", Eva said. Just then, Chris walked up to them. "As if I had the budget to blow up an entire building. I was just playing with ya! Again. Because I can. Anyway, it's time for your next challenge!"

Chris led the cast members over to a tarp and pulled it away, revealing six barrels with wires and a timer on each of them. "These are bombs. You will have to deactivate the bombs with only the tools you got from the last challenge: the wire cutters. Oh, wait, wasn't Cody the only one who got the wire cutters?" Chris laughed. "Well, I guess everybody else will just have to find their own way of cutting the wires. Sucks to be you! Any questions?" Harold raised his hand and asked "Where can I get the bomb schematics?" "Am I wearing the right kind of bomb deactivating clothing? And if not, where can I get the proper outfit? Preferably in cotton candy, because that color is so rad with my hair", Lindsay said. "Are there any blue wires?", Eva asked. "Cool. If there are no questions, then what're we waiting for?", Chris asked. He turned to leave, but then quickly turned back around. "Oh yeah, one more thing. These barrels are filled with the most stinky, the most noxious substances known to human kind. Yeah, that's right. We're talkin' major stink bombs." "You mean worse than Owen's farts?", Harold asked. Chris nodded. "Yes, yes it is. Yo, Chef!" Chef came up to the group, wearing a tennis outfit, looking grumpy. "Why can't you handle this? I'm busy!", he said. He walked up to the bombs and hit a button on them, starting the countdown. Then, he and Chris left. "Good luck, cause this time you're really gonna need it."

Cody walked over to Lindsay and handed her the wire cutters. "You should have these. I suck at defusing bombs... think you can handle it?" Lindsay nodded and walked over to her bomb. "Ooh, look at all the pretty wires! That one matches my toenails, that one matches my eyes, and oh, that one matches my hair!" The other contestants walked up to their bombs as well. "Harold, do you know which wire to cut?", Bridgette asked. "These are far cruder than any bombs I've seen. I have no idea what the wires are hooked up to", he said. Heather glared at them. "Just zip your lips and find something to cut with!", Heather said. "It's the blue one!", Eva said. The others looked at her. "How do you know?" "Because it's always the blue one!" Lindsay nodded and cut her blue wire. The timer stopped. "See? What'd I tell ya?", Eva asked. Eva yanked her blue wire out by hand. Harold used his teeth to cut his bomb's blue wire, while Bridgette used a hair clip. Heather used her nail file and Cody took the wire cutters from Lindsay to cut his. Everyone cheered for a minute, but then Cody stopped. "Wait a second. If we all stopped the bombs, what's that ticking noise?" Heather started backing away. "Oh no..."

The remaining four bombs exploded. The teens all fell over, gasping for air. "Oh, c-come on, he wired them all differently?", Harold asked. "Can we get a fan and a vat of tomato juice over here?", Bridgette yelled. Meanwhile, Lindsay crawled over to her boyfriend. "Cody, are you okay? Hello? Come on, say something!" Heather walked over to Cody's fallen body and kicked his leg. She shrugged. "Here lies Cody. He ran fast, and died a virgin." Lindsay glared at Heather, but Cody got up. "I'm okay", he said. "Well, mostly."

The teens got their tomato juice bath as Bridgette requested. They all sat in a giant tub of it by the trailers. "Tomato juice is so good for your skin", Lindsay said. "The vitamin C in the tomatoes boosts collagen, improves skin texture, firmness and tone." Cody smiled. "Wow, I had no idea." Lindsay smiled back. "Yeah, I know a lot about tomatoes." Chef walked up to them with some straws. "Glad you like it, cause it's also dinner", he said. He threw the straws into the juice. Chris walked up next, wearing a gas mask. "Everyone having fun yet?", he asked. "Cody and Lindsay, as the winners of the first and second challenges, you get the reward: an all expense paid trip to..." Lindsay gasped. "Paris? New York? London? The mall?" "Nice try, but no. It's an all expense paid trip to... a local cheese factory!" Lindsay hugged Cody. "Yay, our first real date!" "While on tour, you'll get to sample all the cheeses of the world: from Bleu cheese, to green cheese, to head cheese, which isn't technically a cheese, but reeks just the same!" Harold sighed. "Hey Chris, how long do we have to stay in here til the stink wears off?", he asked. "Oh, I'd say another twelve hours should do", Chris told him.

After another half a day in the tomato juice, Cody and Lindsay went over to the stadium for their reward. Chef drove up in the lame-ousine. "Hop in", he said. Cody ran up to the door, opened it and bowed. "After you, my dear", he said. Lindsay giggled and got in. "Why thank you, Cody." Cody got in behind her and shut the door. Then they started making out. "Mmm, this is gonna be great", Lindsay said. "Not the best date ever, but still, it's a good start." Cody smiled. "I know... and things will be even better after we get out of this place." Lindsay turned forward and raised her hand. "Oh, Chef? Would you mind if Cody and I borrowed the limo for an hour after the tour?" Chef groaned and began driving.


	17. Chapter 17

Chapter 17: The Revengers

After the cheese factory tour, Cody and Lindsay came back to camp, looking a bit sickly. Cody groaned. "Well that place stank", he said. "I know! And the didn't even have crackers to go with the cheese!", Lindsay said. She sighed and hugged Cody. "And we didn't get to borrow the limo, either..."

They went back to their trailers. Lindsay got to hers as the girls were going to sleep, but then they all started sniffing and groaning. "Ugh, you stink, Lindsay!", Heather said. Lindsay looked confused. "Really? Why would I smell bad? It's like I've been forgetting my perfume again..." "It's because of your cheesy reward", Eva said. Lindsay went wide-eyed. "Oh my gosh, really?" "Yes." "Wow, it's like I somehow brought it home with me!" Then, Lindsay pulled a wedge of cheese out of her handbag. "Gouda, anyone?" Eva walked up to her, took the cheese and threw it out the window. "Go to sleep", she said.

Meanwhile, Harold was talking to Cody in the guys' trailer. "Cody, we need to talk." Cody smirked. "About what, how to pick up girls?" "No, gosh! It's always about girls with you, isn't it?" Cody shrugged. "What I wanted to talk about was forming an alliance. We're in the final six, and there's four girls but only two of us. It's a lot like last season." Cody nodded. "So, you're proposing a guys' alliance?" "Precisely. If we don't vote each other off, we both have a better chance of winning." Cody smiled. "Sounds good."

_Confession Cam: Harold_

"_I know I'm already in an alliance with Heather and Bridgette, but I don't know if I can trust them. Sure they're nice, but they spend more time together than with me. For all I know, they're just using me to get to the finals and split the money. I need all the help I can get."_

Chris woke the cast members up early the next morning. "Wake up, hurry! It's challenge time! Just head toward the screaming!", he said over the intercom. The teens groaned and pulled themselves out of their bunks, then walked toward the city set from the first challenge. They found Chef tied up and wearing a dress, screaming like a girl. "There had better be a good reason for this", Eva grumbled. Just then, Chris swung in on a rope and pulled Chef free. Chris's rope snapped and they fell to the ground. Chris got up angrily and yelled "I knew that budget wouldn't hold! That's what happens when production cheaps out! And now my hair's all messed up!" "Chris, what the heck is going on?", Bridgette asked. "When I feel like it!", he yelled.

Chris took a minute fixing his hair. "Okay, now I feel like it. Today's challenges are inspired by the super hero flick." Cody and Harold cheered. "Dude, this is awesome!" "Best challenge ever!" They high-fived. "It's way too early for a challenge, I'm going back to bed", Heather said. "Evil never sleeps, and neither will you. Besides, super heroes don't do the things mere mortals do", Chris said. "They have screaming ladies to rescue-" "Uh, actually, many super heroes are mere mortals", Chris said. "My favorite, the incredible Owl Man, catches thieves just like mice, but come morning, he puts his pants on one leg at a time, just like the rest of us", Harold said. "Speak for yourself, boy", Chef said. Chris walked up to Harold, glaring. "How would you like it if Owl Man scratched your eyes out with is talons?" Harold fell over. "Didn't think so. Now, shut it! There are three things intrinsic to all good super hero movies. One, super heroes have super powers. Two, super heroes save people. And my personal favorite, three: super heroes and heroines wear tights." Chris laughed. "Which means, you will all be wearing teensy tiny tights." Everyone but Lindsay started whining. "Also, why are you all here in your pajamas? Get dressed and stuff, and meet me back in super hero speed. And make sure to wear something that goes with brightly hued spandex!"

Harold went to the guys' trailer, got dressed, and pulled a burrito out from under his pillow. "Good thing I saved this for later", he said. Meanwhile, the girls were talking in the other trailer. "Maybe you can use your stench as a super power, Gouda girl", Eva said. Heather smirked. "Oh, and let me guess- you'll be Unibrow Lass? How classy." Eva glared at her. "Don't make me angry", she said.

The teens went back to the city set where Chris was waiting by some sewing machines and boxes of fabric. "For your first challenge, you each will create your own super hero identity", he told them. Cody smiled. "Piece of cake. I've been working on this type of thing for years." "You'll make your own super hero costumes using nothing but your fertile imaginations and tons of spandex..." As he was talking, Chef drove up in a dump truck full of random items. "And some other junk. You'll be judged on originality, and style of costume, how rocking your super power is, and how cool your super hero name is. Top score wins an advantage in the next round. Chef will of course play the super villain, which, let's face it, won't be much of a stretch." Chef jumped out of the dump truck and posed dramatically, wearing a bizarre green outfit and holding a cat. "Meet Pythonicus, and his sidekick kitty, Dander Boy. They will sabotage you at every turn. Any questions?" Everyone raised their hands. "No? Perfect! And, Action!"

The girls began fighting over rolls of spandex. "That ones mine!" "No, I've got it!" "I call dibs on the blue one!" Eva shoved Lindsay out of her way and took it. "That's all I need." Lindsay glared at her. Heather took some rolls of spandex and began working on her costume, but Chef threw his cat at her and the cat tore it up. Cody picked some things out of the junk pile but Chef stole them. Lindsay started sewing something, but Chef dropped some different spandex on the part going through the sewing machine while she wasn't paying attention. Harold got his costume ready and Chef swapped the chest symbol on it while Harold wasn't looking. He short circuited Bridgette's sewing machine and shocked her next. When he tried to sabotage Eva, she just punched him in the face and he was knocked out. Cody smiled. "Thanks, Eva! Now I can finally work on this thing in piece..."

After everyone finished their costume, it was time for the challenge. They went into the dressing room behind a catwalk and one by one they came out. Chris, Chef and the cat sat at a judges' table in front of it. "Now wearing a costume of her own design, our first super model!" Chris hit a button and the curtain opened. Bridgette walked onto the catwalk wearing a blue and white outfit. "State your name and super power." "I'm Karma Cat! I have the power of karmic justice able to defeat any villain! Also, I have this... rope tail, cat ears and- OW!- claws." Bridgette used her costume to hold her accidentally made cut closed. Chris shrugged. "Good powers, bad presentation. That's worth four points. Next!" Eva walked on stage next, wearing her normal clothes and a wrestling mask. "I'm the Dreadnaught. I have super strength." Chris raised an eyebrow. "So it's basically you in a mask?" "Well... yes." "One point. Next!" Eva walked offstage grumbling and Harold ran out. "I'm Captain Alberta, and I can swirl up a hot northern wind!" Harold took a bite of his burrito from earlier, turned around and farted. "That's a spicy burrito!", he said. Chef started choking and fell over. Chris smiled. "Impressive. Gross, but impressive. Now that Owen's gone, someone's gotta carry the fiery torch. And extra points for keeping it Canadian. Seven points for Captain Alberta!" "Alright!"

Cody walked onstage next. He was wearing a yellow and black costume with a bunch of wires and batteries on it. "I'm C Cell, the electrical hero! I can zap bad guys with lightning, short circuit their gear and give them the worst hair day of their life." "Not bad, not bad at all. Five points."

_Confession Cam: Lindsay_

"_I can't believe he said that! The way I see it, that's more of a villain thing than a hero thing."_

After Cody, it was Heather's turn. She walked on stage in a glittery pink outfit with a skirt and domino mask. "I am The Entrancer! I have the power to charm guys and make them do whatever I want, and girls admire me for being such a great heroine. I don't need a sidekick or anything else, except my speed and grace." "Again, not bad, but not great either... five points. Also, why all the pink and stuff?" Heather blushed and looked away. "Um... it's part of hiding my secret identity! Yeah, that's it. Nothing else." Finally, Lindsay walked onstage in her costume. "I'm Wonder Woman!" "Wonder Woman already exists", Cody said. "Plus, you don't even have her costume right." "Not so fast, I for one like it", Chris said. He grinned at Lindsay. "What's your super power?" "Duh, I wonder a lot", she said. "Oh, and I have an invisible jet right here! Or, did I leave it over there?" "You win!", Chris said. "I loved Wonder Woman as a kid. Ten points!" "Oh come on!", Eva yelled. She stormed up to Chris, glaring at him. "I come up with a killer name, an original costume and a REAL super power, and she wins just because you like her playing dress up!" "Oh, I'm sorry, is this your show? I don't think so. It's MY shows, which means I make the rules. I say Lindsay wins, and she gets an advantage in the next challenge." Lindsay cheered and Eva glared at her. "You're gonna pay for this!", she said. She stomped off down the catwalk and Lindsay gasped. "Eva just stepped on my invisible jet!" "THERE IS NO JET!" Harold ran up to Lindsay. "Can I have a ride in the jet?", he asked. "Sure! Who else wants a ride in my invisible jet!" Everyone but Eva said yes.

Chris and Lindsay then led everyone to another part of the city set with fake burning buildings, a diving board and a trampoline. "For your second challenge, we will be testing your super prowess. You'll have to leap over a building in a single bound using this trampoline. You'll be judged on how far and how high you jump. And please, properly time your landing, as we wouldn't want you to land anywhere but on this soft, cushy mattress." Chris pointed to the mattress, which was falling apart and had springs sticking out of it. The cast members looked worried. "Our first priority at Total Drama Action is your safety", Chris falsely assured them. "Next, you'll have to save a woman falling from a building. The woman will be played by a sack of potatoes in a dress. Finally, you'll walk across a power line during a meteor shower, and by meteor shower I mean Chef will be throwing bowling balls at you. The person who finishes the course with the best time wins invincibility. Lindsay, you're up first. Ten seconds will be shaved off your time for winning the first round." "Yay!"

Lindsay climbed up to the diving board and Chris yelled "And, Action!" He started timing her and she jumped off the board, onto the trampoline, got sent flying over a fake building and landed on the mattress. "Ugh, this mattress is so nasty!", she said. "Aww, really? I'm sorry", Chris said. Lindsay caught her foot on a spring, hopped backward to the burning building set and Chef dropped the sack of potatoes down. It hit the ground. "Whoops, sorry lady", Lindsay said to it. "Looks like it's gonna mashed potatoes for dinner, eh, Chef?", Chris said. Then Lindsay ran to the telephone pole, climbed up and started walking along the electrical wires. She wobbled back and forth while avoiding the bowling balls, until finally Chef hit her and she fell onto another mattress on the ground. "Looks like you didn't make it!", Chris said.

_Confession Cam: Lindsay_

_Lindsay scratches at her back and hair, looking upset. "What's with those mattresses?" She looks at her arm and sees a trio of beetles crawling on it. "Oh... hello..." _

"Harold, you're up!", Chris shouted. Harold climbed up to the diving board. "Time to use my wind power!", Harold said. He jumped, landed on the trampoline below and bounced up. Then he pulled his burrito out of his pocket, took a few bites and farted his way up over the fake building. He landed on the mattress and did a cartwheel, then took off running. "To the rescue!", he shouted. Chef dropped the sack of potatoes and Harold caught it. "There ya go, ma'am! All in a day's work for Captain Alberta!" Harold smiled and posed. "Hurry it up, captain, you're on the clock!", Chris said. He put the potatoes down and ran to the telephone pole. He climbed up and ran along the wires, dodging all the bowling balls. "Come on, Pythonicus!", Chris shouted. Chef turned and threw a bowling ball at Chris. It hit him in the head and he fell over. While this happened, Harold finished his run across the wires and jumped down. Chris got back up and saw this. "Never thought I'd say this, but, nice work, Captain Alberta. Made good time, too- forty six seconds! Could've, uh, done without the change of weather patterns, though."

"Next, up, Heather!" Heather climbed up, jumped to the trampoline and over the fake building. She gently floated down, and gasped. "Oh, crap, my skirt!" She held it against her legs to keep it from acting as a parachute, and fell faster. She hit the ground, ran and saved the potato sack, then went to the electrical wires. She dodged all of Chef's shots, reached the end, and fell gently to the ground again. Chris checked his watch. "Hmm, not bad. Fifty three seconds. Next up, Bridgette!" Bridgette completed the course fine until she caught the potato sack. It fell into her hands and was torn open. "Ugh, stupid claws..." She stuffed some fallen potatoes back into the sack and then finished the course. Chris checked his watch again. "Fifty seconds exactly. Cody, your turn!" Cody ran through the course up until he got to the electrical wires. Then, he got shocked and fell down. Lindsay gasped and ran over to him. "Cody, are you okay?" He got up, groaning in agony. "S-stupid batteries... my suit shocked me..." "Aww, you poor thing..." Lindsay hugged him, but she got shocked too.

Last up was Eva. She climbed up the ladder, jumped onto the trampoline, went over the fake building and landed. She sprinted away and saved the potato lady, then tossed it aside. After that, she ran to the telephone pole, climbed up and started across the electrical wires. Chef threw bowling balls at her, but she blocked them all and kept her balance. She walked along until the end, then jumped down. Chris went wide-eyed. "Thirty nine seconds... Eva wins!" Eva cheered. "Okay, you guys may be super heroes, but after a day outside in spandex you smell super gross. Time to hit the showers!"

After the showering, it was time for the elimination. The cast members changed into their normal clothes, walked to the stadium and took their seats. Chris walked up to his podium and said "And now, we vote." The teens made their choices.

_Confession Cam: Eva_

"_I'm voting for Lindsay to leave. Stupid girl thought she could win with her looks? Not on my watch."_

_Confession Cam: Cody_

"_Heather has to go. She won last season, and if she gets to the finals she'll do it again this season."_

_Confession Cam: Heather_

"_Lindsay should leave. Cody may be fast, but that's his only good quality. He'll be no trouble in the finale, I know that for sure._

_Confession Cam: Bridgette _

"_I don't know who to vote for! Lindsay and Cody are both so nice, I'd hate to see either of them leave." _

_Confession Cam: Harold _

"_The only choice I have is Lindsay. I'm in an alliance with everyone else. _

_Confession Cam: Lindsay_

"_I still hate Heather for how she treated me last season. I hope she goes home tonight._

"The results are in. Gilded Chris awards go to... Eva, Cody, Bridgette, Harold, and... Heather." Lindsay frowned. "Wait, what? I don't get one?" Chris shook his head. "Nope. Sorry, Lindsay. Time to go!" "Just one thing first, okay?" She got up, walked over to Cody and hugged him tightly. "I'm gonna miss you so much!" "I'll miss you too, Lindsay." He kissed her, and she smiled. "Win this for us, okay?" Cody nodded. "I'll do my best." "Thanks. And you may not have one the super hero challenge, but you'll always be a hero to me." Lindsay kissed Cody once more, and ran off to the limo. She got in and waved goodbye, and Cody waved back as she drove out of sight.


	18. Chapter 18

**Well, this story is officially two thirds of the way done. Thanks to all of you for reading this far, and I'm sorry for how bad the story has been at times. I appreciate your reviews, all of them. I hope you will all stay with the story until its conclusion. And now, on with the story.**

Chapter 18: Aftermath 3

It's the Total Drama Action Aftermath Show! The cameras turned on to show the applauding studio audience, then zoomed in on Justin and Ezekiel on the couch in the middle of the stage. Well, mostly on Justin, who noticed and waved at the camera. "Good evening, ladies and gentlemen!", he said. "It's great to have you here. Welcome to the third TDA Aftermath show!" "Wassup, eh? It's me, the Zeke, bringing you some sick Total Drama Action behind the scenes Action!", Ezekiel said. "TDA's lost some serious heavyweights in the last few challenges. Well, one heavyweight at least." Justin laughed. "Yeah, good one. Today we're gonna be talking to a trio of dumb blondes to see how they feel about missing out on the million, and who they think is gonna win." "We've also got the losers from last time, and our fellow rejects, eh", Ezekiel added.

"So, our guests for today went though some tough stuff before coming here", Justin said. "Especially Owen, who got his jaw broken, ouch! If I went through that, facial modeling career would be over. Then he got voted off just for farting so much. Let's see how he's coping with it. Owen, come out here!" Owen walked onstage carrying a ton of food while the audience cheered. "Hi, everybody!", he yelled. "Hi Justin, Hi Zeke." Justin smiled, more at the cameras than at Owen. "Hey there, big guy. Great to have you on the show." Owen sat down on the couch near Justin and Zeke's and started eating a chicken leg. "So, Owen, it must've sucked having to drink all your meals through a straw." "Chips and soda make a scrumptious blendie, but I've been making up for it since my jaw healed", he replied. "Yeah, I can see that. Well, if a big eater like you can handle a broken jaw, you can handle just about anything. How about a little game of Truth or Hammer?" "Sure!" "Just tell the truth, bro, and you'll be okay!", Trent yelled. "Thanks, Trent. I'll tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth." The audience cheered and gasped as the hammer got set up.

Justin smirked. "So, Owen..." Owen started crying and Justin looked confused. Owen began confessing. "In the third grade, I cheated on my math exam! In fourth grade I stole my uncle Max's toupee and glued it to a goat at the petting zoo! In fifth grade I knocked one of my brothers down a flight of stairs and blamed it on my other brother! When my mom sent me to summer camp for fat kids and they served us lunch I pigged out, and the rest of the kids had nothing to eat the entire week! But the worst thing I've ever done? I mixed a pot of fake puke and went to school with the pot hidden in my jacket, then I made a noise like this-" Owen gagged- "and then I dumped it all over-" "Owen! Dude, we meant the truth about what happened on the show!", Justin said. The audience laughed. "You mean I said all that stuff on TV for no reason?" Owen and Justin started laughing as well. "Ah... sorry, uncle Max. And Johnny and Gavin, and um, mom." "So, Owen, how'd you feel about Chef when he broke your jaw?", Justin asked. "I wasn't mad. I didn't feel anything, except lots of pain in my jaw!" "Yeah, I guess that makes sense. And how'd you feel when you got booted off the show?" "Eh, it wasn't that bad. I've been voted off before." Justin shrugged. "Good point. So... what's your biggest problem?" "Hm, that's a toughie... sometimes I worry I'm too critical of others." Justin raised an eyebrow. "Or maybe it's my unrelenting love of dairy. And sometimes I worry I might be colorblind, are my shorts bright green or moss green?" "They look kinda vomit green to me, eh", Ezekiel said. "Oh, wait! I know what my biggest problem is! I've gone kinda nutso with food since having my jaw unwired. I've gained ten pounds..." The audience laughed and Owen rubbed his stomach. "I've really let myself go."

"Actually", Justin said, "your biggest problem now is that you're broke." Owen laughed. "Of course I'm broke, I'm sixteen!" Justin frowned. "No, dude, your whole family's broke. Your mom was so sure you could win this time that she spent fifty grand on something." The audience gasped. "So, what did she blow the money on?", Owen asked. "Let's find out, we've got her on webcam." Ezekiel hit a button on a remote control and the video screen above him turned on. Owen's mother was there. "Owen, I don't know how to work this thing!" "Mom, what happened?" "The boys and I didn't MEAN to spend it all... I guess we kind of got carried away." "Ma, I just wanna know one thing. What did you buy?" "A teensy tiny... extra large, cheese cellar." "Okay, I just wanna know one more thing. Is it full of cheese?" Owen's mom smiled and Owen began cheering. "Mom, that's awesome! I've always wanted a fully stocked cheese cellar! Tell Johnny and Gavin to leave me half the stock, and I'll be home soon! Love you guys!" "Love you too, Owen. Come home as soon as you can, we can figure this out... wait, what's that flashy bar thingy?" The video feed ended.

"Well, you sure took that well", Justin said. Owen chuckled. "Of course! There's nothing to worry about when you have the creamy goodness of cheese." "Yeah, cheese is good, but it's a killer on the pores." "My mom makes cheese, eh", Ezekiel said. "It's pretty good. But you know what else is good? Watching some bonus footage, eh! It's time for That's Gonna Leave a Mark!" Ezekiel picked up the remote control and hit a button. The TV screen turned back on, showing some clips from TDA. In order, it showed Heather yanking a knot out of Lindsay's hair, Owen getting hit with the book that broke his jaw, Cody getting hit in the crotch with a basketball, Harold slipping on a bar of soap, then getting hit in the crotch by a microphone, then getting hit by a falling rock, THEN hitting himself with his num-yos, and Eva punching a camera guy and knocking him over, ending the video. Ezekiel laughed. "That was pretty good, eh! So, uh, what's next?" "I think it's time to bring in our next two guests", Justin said. "Please welcome the lovelorn losers, the dumb blonde duo, Geoff and Lindsay!" The audience cheered.

"Ah, love. One of the things that mess your life up worst. Am I right, Trent?" Trent grumbled, crossed his arms and turned away while Justin kept talking. "Geoff and Izzy got stuck on opposite teams, and now they're both out of the contest. Sadly they can't be together again yet, since Izzy's being hunted by the RCMP. Guess their reunion party has to wait. Lindsay just got voted off and now Cody's all alone on the show... sorta. He has that guys' alliance with Harold, but there's only two of them and four girls, so they probably won't last long." "Kinda reminds me of last season, eh", Ezekiel said. "So, let's see how they're doing!" Geoff and Lindsay walked onstage as the audience cheered. Geoff waved and Lindsay blew a kiss at the cameras. "Hi guys!", Owen said. He waved at Geoff, who ran up and high-fived him. "Sup, dude?" "My mom just got a cheese cellar!" "Awesome!" Ezekiel smiled at Lindsay. "Hi... glad you could make it." "Glad you could make it, too! Oh wait, you were already here."

Lindsay and Geoff sat down on the couch and Justin turned to them. "Well, let's get things started with a game of Truth or Hammer. Geoff, you're up first." Geoff nodded. "So, you got voted off because everyone else on your team was in an alliance. I bet you were mad at them for not including you, huh?" Geoff shook his head. "No way, dude." A hammer flew down from the ceiling and knocked Geoff off the couch. "Okay, maybe a little!" "And what about Harold? He was already in one alliance and now he's in a second one. What do you think of that?" "He's a lucky guy. Pretty crafty, too. I used to think he was just some nerdy guy, but he's actually a smart nerd." "What's your opinion on Heather? Is she really that nice now, or is she still evil like she used to be?" "I dunno, man. She's using people to make an alliance and try to win, so that's pretty mean, but she's not really doing anything else mean. So, uh... she's nice?" "I still think she's a jerk!", Lindsay said. "She got me and Cody off the show last season, and now she's gonna do it again! I just wanna pull her hair out or throw her in a garbage bin or something..." Justin smirked. "Let's see what else you feel. Time for YOU to play Truth or Hammer."

Geoff walked off and Lindsay sat on the edge of the couch, near the hammer. "Do you really think Heather's just mean? Don't you think she's at least a little bit nice?" Lindsay crossed her arms. "No way. She's just as mean as she used to be." The hammer swung down and knocked Lindsay off the couch. "Ow!" She got up and sat back on the couch, rubbing her head. "Wasn't she nice to you this season?" "Not really.." The hammer swung down and hit Lindsay again. "Hey, quit it! I didn't say I picked hammer!" "Do you really think Cody can win? I don't think he has a chance, eh", Ezekiel said. "Of course he can win! Cody's my hero, he can do anything." Justin raised an eyebrow. "Lindsay. Eva's the only one with less alliance partners than him. Unless he wins a lot of challenges, he's gonna leave soon." Lindsay laughed. "Oh please, being in an alliance doesn't make you safe! Look at what happened to me and Beth last season!" "Girl's got a point, eh", Ezekiel said. "Well, fine. Who do you think is gonna win, Geoff." Geoff scratched his head. "I dunno... probably Heather again." Geoff walked over to Ezekiel and raised his hand. "Can I ask a question?" Ezekiel nodded. "Where the heck is Izzy?" "She's on the run from the RCMP, eh." Geoff laughed. "Oh, that's great! What'd she do, set off some homemade fireworks?" Ezekiel shook his head. "Oh. What'd she do, then?" Ezekiel stood up and whispered into Geoff's ear. Geoff went wide-eyed. "Whoa... I knew she was crazy, but not THAT crazy!" "Well, that's all the time we have", Justin said. "See you next time, people! Be sure you come back for the next part of Total Drama Action!"

**To the person who has been giving me death threats for not having Trent and Gwen stay together... Dude. Stop it. It's a fan fic. If you want a story where they're guaranteed to either stay together or hook up again, write it yourself. When I started this fan fic, I had one very specific premise- not allow any of the contestants to break the rules. No cheating, now rigging the votes, no swapping teams. From that premise I have followed the logical course of events as I see them, and made a few character changes. I can't think of any logical reason for Gwen and Trent to stay together. Okay? It's not like they broke up because one of them broke some rules of the game, Trent threw the challenges of his own free will. Meanwhile, Duncan and Courtney hooked up as the result of breaking some rules, so in this fan fic they never hooked up at all. See the difference? It's just a story. If you don't like it, write your own. I won't stop you. Meanwhile, I plan on finishing this one and would rather not die before I'm done. Thank you.**


	19. Chapter 19

Chapter 19: The Princess and the Pea Brain

Two days after Lindsay left the set, the remaining five teens were supposed to be having breakfast. However, since it was so gross, they decided to have a burrito sculpture contest instead. Since Eva didn't feel like it, she decided to be the judge. "Okay, just ten more seconds", she said. The others worked furiously on their sculptures until the seconds were over. Harold's watch beeped. "Time's up, guys!", he said. "Finally! Cody, what did you make?", Eva asked. "I tried making Linday's head, but beans kept falling off the top. "Well she is brainless. Harold, how'd you do?" He smiled and picked a plate up off the floor, revealing his sculpture. "I give you the luscious Leshawna!" Bridgette smiled. "Aww, that's sweet. If she were still here she'd totally fall for you after seeing that." Harold blushed and turned away. "What'd you make, surfer girl?" Bridgette held up her plate. "It's a big tidal wave." "Could use more detail work. Heather?" Heather held up her plate, which had a large A made out of burritos on it. "A for Alliance. What do you think?" Eva sighed. "It's better than the others, so I guess you win." Heather smiled, and Bridgette and Harold applauded.

_Confession Cam: Cody_

"_I don't like how things are going. Lindsay wasn't just my girlfriend, she was the only person I knew I could trust. Sure, Harold says we're in a guys' alliance now, but he's still in another one and I don't know who he's gonna stay loyal to in the end. I miss Lindsay... I'm almost as alone in this as Eva. Wait, that gives me an idea!"_

Eva walked over to an empty table and Cody followed her. He sat down on the opposite side and began eating his burrito. "So, how's it going, former teammate?" "Fine." "Cool." Cody took a few bites before speaking again. "So, uh, I was thinking we could work-" "No." "Huh?" Eva sighed. "I know what you're gonna ask, and I say no. I may have decent leadership skills, but I can't make a team with just one other player, especially not a lightweight like you. I'd rather work alone than put up with you." Cody frowned. "Okay... fine." "I'm not gonna vote you off, though", Eva said. "I already said you're a lightweight, so you're no threat to me unless you stand in my way. If you leave me alone, I'll leave you alone. Got it?" Cody smiled and nodded. "Got it. Thanks, Eva." Eva rolled her eyes. "Whatever."

A minute later, Chef came in, wearing an odd purple outfit and playing a trumpet. He stopped playing and began yelling instead. "Hear ye, and rise, for sir Chris!" Harold scowled. "Sir? Someone needs an ego check." Chris rode in on a horse, wearing a knight's helmet and carrying a bizarre shoe. Chef put a mat down on the floor and Chris hopped onto it. "What's with the glass boot?", Heather asked. "It's for today's fantasy movie challenge", Chris explained. "The girl whose foot fits gets to be the princess. The rest of you compete for the honor of rescuing the fair princess. So, line up, ladies." Eva was up first. She sat on the table closest to Chris and pulled her shoe off. Chris handed her the boot, and she managed to get it past her toes before it got stuck. "Uh, Chris? I think you made the boot too small." Chris shrugged. "What can I say? Princesses are supposed to have dainty feet. Maybe yours are just too big, just like your-" Eva puched Chris in the face and he fell to the ground. "Owww! Oww, oww! Oh come on!" Eva walked away and Bridgette walked up next. "Okay, hang on..." She tried cramming the boot onto her foot and nearly got it. "Come on, just a bit further..." She pushed the boot on a bit further but it wouldn't go past her ankle. She growled, pulled it off and hopped away, rubbing her sore foot with one hand. Heather smiled and walked up next. She sat down and took her shoe off. "Okay, gimme that boot!" She snatched it from Chris, and after a minute she got it on. "Ha! I knew it'd fit!" Then the boot started to crack. "I hope that's safety glass!", Harold said. "Okay, let's get this over with before Heather looses a foot!" Chef walked up, this time in a fairy costume, holding a wand. He tapped Heather's head and said "I dub thee Princess Heather." He then threw some glitter in the air. The teens began coughing as it fell down.

_Confession Cam: Heather_

"_Yes, yes, yes! This is the role I was born to play! I'm like royalty back home anyway, complete with the fighting over inheritance, treasonous sibling and the corrupt ruling parents. It's perfect!"_

Chris went over to the bridge set on a cart thing while he relaxed in a big comfy chair, next to a fake fireplace. He started talking once he saw the four teens who were not chosen as the princess, waiting for him on set. "It's story time with uncle Chris", he began. "Once upon a time, four brave knights went on a quest to rescue a princess from her ivory tower. But, it wasn't gonna be easy! First, the knights had to get past my very good friend, the terrible toothless troll and his bad breaks bridge." Harold, Bridgette and Cody gulped. "To get past the terrible toothless troll, the knights had to wear disguises." Chris reached under his chair and pulled some off hats and wigs out, then tossed them to the teens in front of him. "There was the frog prince, and the ugly stepsister." He threw an odd green helmet to Cody and a large red wig to Eva. "There was also Sleeping Beauty and one of her seven drawves." He threw a sleep mask to Bridgette and a painted traffic cone to Harold. And so, the ugly stepsister approached the terrible troll."

Eva put her wig on and it fell over her eyes. "Hey, I can't see!" "Oh yeah, for this challenge each knight is blind." "What!" "No where in this story does it say the cowardly knights complained! Get it together, steppie, and get crossing!" Eva grumbled and stumbled until she got to the bridge. "Okay, now I just have to get across, right?" Chef, dressed as a troll, threw an apple at her. "Hey, cut it out! Chris, you just said we had to wear a disguise!" Chef threw another apple and hit her. "Okay, that's it!" She ran across the bridge, tackled Chef and knocked him off the bridge. She finished walking across and removed her wig. "One down, three to go. Sleeping Beauty, you're next!", Chris said. Bridgette put on her sleep mask and climbed up to the bridge. She started walking across and tried to block Chef's apples, but it wasn't working well. She slipped on one and fell off the bridge. "Well, guess you're not fairy tale heroine material", Chris said. "Next, the eighth drawf. He grabbed a fistful of courage and headed across the bridge." Harold climbed up to the bridge, glared at Chef and dropped his hat over his head. He ran at Chef and yelled "This is for you, Leshawna!" Chef ran onto the bridge to stop him, but Harold jumped over him and made it across.

_Confession Cam: Harold_

"_Heather may be the princess for today's challenge, but Leshawna is the princess of my heart. Leshawna, if you're watching this, please know that I love you! I'm gonna win this for us! And hopefully there will BE an 'us' when it's over!"_

"Okay Cody, you're the last one!" Cody got on the bridge and began walking, with his helmeted head down. Chef threw apples at him, but they all hit the helmet and had no effect. Cody kept walking, and then Chef ran onto the bridge. He pulled out a hatchet and chopped at Cody's helmet. "What in the... AAAHH!" Cody ran across the bridge, screaming the rest of the way. He ran into a wall, then pulled off his helmet and threw it away. "Dude, you are insane!"

_Confession Cam: Cody_

"_I can't believe Chef tried to kill me! I knew he was a jerk, but not THAT much of a jerk! I miss Lindsay. I need someone to hold me..." _

"And so, the terrible toothless troll stopped one of the knights, but three semi-brave knights made it to the other side and can continued on their noble quest, whereupon I, in my wisdom, inspired them with a vision of princess Heather." Chris gestured to a stage near the bridge set which had a fancy fairy tale backdrop. Heather came in from above, dressed in a pink princess outfit with a silver tiara, descending with the help of some wires, and waved at the others. She smiled. "Greetings, loyal subjects! It is I, your lovely Princess Heather!" Heather giggled. "Thank you for coming all this way just to bask in my radiant beauty!" Eva rolled her eyes. "I do hope this will be enough to inspire all of you, until this dreadful challenge is complete, and the winner will be greatly rewarded." Harold started drooling. Heather glared at him. "Okay, Romeo, snap out of it!", she said. Harold nodded and bowed. "Whatever you say, milady.."

Then, Chef rode up to the others on the horse from earlier. Harold saw this, gasped and fell over. "It's the first horseman of the apocalypse!" Chef rode up to the stage and Heather jumped down onto the horse. "Are we supposed to stop him?" "No, it's a classic princess abduction", Chris said. "As the villain makes a whirlwind getaway on swift steed, the three knights mourned their loss of the princess." The horse slowly walked away while Chef kicked at its sides. "But fate, AKA me, wasn't finished with them. They followed the troll all the way to a fight to the death, because that's how I like my princesses saved." "See you later, guys!", Heather yelled. "Oh, and Eva!" "I promise I'll save you, milady!", Harold shouted. She rolled her eyes and pulled off her glass boot. "Here, take this for good luck!" She chucked it at Harold and it hit him in the face, knocking him over.

Chris and the four teens followed Chef and Heather to the castle tower set. "Sir Cody, sir Eva and sir Harold reached the ivory tower in which the troll had stuck the spoiled princess. But, there was only one way to rescue her: one of the brave knights had to slay the dragon." "I am so glad I lost already", Bridgette said. "We don't have a real dragon, so we're reusing the giant monster from the first challenge." The robotic monster stomped over, with Chef in a control suit following behind it. "Let the dragon slaying begin!", Chris said. He threw three wooden swords to the knights. Heather yelled down from atop the tower. "Godspeed, brave knights! Here's a treat for all of you..." Heather blew a kiss to each of them. Harold accepted his, Cody rejected his and Eva looked confused. She shrugged, gripped her sword and charged at the monster. She hacked at its foot while it tried to step on her, and kept going until the sword broke. "Stupid cheap fake sword. I'm gonna tear you apart!" She began pulling the scales off the monster and punching the metal frame beneath them.

Cody looked over at Harold. "Alliance time?", he asked. "Let's do it!", Harold said. "I have a plan. Get the monster to start chasing you." Cody went wide-eyed. "What?" "See that red thing on its neck?", Harold asked. He pointed at the neck of the monster and Cody saw it. "That thing?" "I'm pretty sure that's a weak point. I need to get access to it, but I also need a distraction." Cody sighed. "Oh, fine..." Cody ran at the monster, bashed it once with his sword and got Chef's attention. The monster started chasing him, with Eva following it. "Hey, I'm not through with you!", she yelled. "Okay Cody, now run and jump over that manhole!" Cody did so, and the monster followed him. One of its feet got stuck in the hole and it fell over. Eva began beating up the fallen robot while Cody and Harold walked over to the neck. "Excellent job, sir Cody", Harold said. "Yeah, thanks..." They found the red dot and Cody jammed his sword into it. "Okay, now let's go get Heather!"

Cody and Harold climbed up the tower set and reached Heather at the top. "Yes, we did it!" "Challenge isn't over yet!", Chris said. "It says here in my book that Heather and the two knights must sword fight to determine the true winner." "But I don't have a sword!", Cody said. "Well you lose, then!" "What kind of fairy tale is this?", Bridgette asked. "No happy ending, no kiss, just more fighting?" "Hey, it's my story. I'll write whatever I feel like." "Well I'm not gonna fight her", Harold said. "We're in an alliance, and she's milady!" Heather rolled her eyes, pulled his sword from his hand and used it to push him off the tower. "Nothing personal, just playing the game! Thanks for the win, Harold!", she yelled. Harold hit the ground and groaned in agony. "No... problem..." "And, Heather gets immunity!", Chris said. Cody raised an eyebrow. "Wait, there was an elimination last time! Shouldn't this be a reward challenge?" "Nope! Sorry, dude." Cody sighed.

Before the elimination ceremony, Bridgette and Heather were talking in the girls' trailer. "Bridgette, we need to plan who we're voting off." Bridgette raised an eyebrow. "What do you mean? We're just voting for Eva or Cody, right?" Heather glared at her. "Tonight we vote off Cody. Next time, we vote off Harold. Know why? I heard him talking to Cody, saying it was 'alliance time' when they teamed up to disable the monster robot." Bridgette groaned. "So this is gonna be a repeat of what you did to Lindsay last season?" Heather nodded. "I'm afraid so. My alliance can't just be the best alliance. I want it to be the ONLY alliance. Harold isn't loyal enough, and for that he must pay." Bridgette sighed. "Fine. So, vote off Cody?" "Yep."

Then, they walked to the stadium and joined the others for the ceremony. They voted and Chris read the results. "So, with immunity, Heather is the first to receive a gilded Chris", Chris said. He threw a statue to Heather. "Next ones go to Harold and Bridgette. And the final Gilded Chris of the evening goes to... Eva." Cody smiled. "Well... alright then. It was nice while it lasted." He stood up and walked away, waving. "Good luck, Harold!" Harold waved back. "Sorry you lost, bro! Take care!" Cody got in the limo and left, while Harold went back to the guys' trailer alone.


	20. Chapter 20

Chapter 20: No Duh, Sherlock

The next day, the remaining cast members were having breakfast. "Breakfast tacos? Is that all Chef knows how to make now? Mexican themed breakfast foods?", Harold asked. Heather glared at him instead of responding. Harold took a bite of his taco and spat out an egg shell. "Gross! Chef must be the only cook who makes eggs like peanut butter- smooth or crunchy style." He took another bite, but soon stopped chewing and pulled a flash drive out of his mouth. "What the heck was this doing in there?" "Maybe it's for the challenge", Bridgette said. "Anyone know where we can find a computer?" "I do!", Harold said. He led the others into the kitchen, went to a cabinet and pulled out a laptop. "Chef always watches videos on this thing while we're eating." He turned it on and plugged the flash drive in.

A video recording of Chris began to play. "I hope you all had a filling breakfast. It was sooo delish. I was practically on 'cloud nine'! I could've had a 'dozen' of them! But, enough about breakfast. It's time to 'eighty six' this combination- uh, I mean, conversation. Right now I'm gonna relax in a nice, 'safe' and secure place, and get ready for today's challenge. You're probably wondering what the challenge is. It will remain a mystery until you find me. Hopefully you'll 'clue in' and track me down! But, in the meantime, I'm gonna 'crack open' a soda and relax. See ya!" Then, the video ended. "Well, it's official. Chris has gone off the deep end", Eva said. "No, it's obviously a mystery movie challenge", Heather said. "All the weird emphasis? The way he said 'mystery' and 'clue in'? We just need to go over what he said and find him." "Well he said he was feeling safe and secure, and was going to crack open a soda. So, he's in a safe?", Bridgette asked. Heather nodded. "That would explain why he said to eighty six the 'combination'. The only safes around here are from the earlier challenges... let's check the bank vault!"

_Confession Cam: Heather_

"_Thank goodness I still have ONE decent ally who isn't a traitor. The others are so going down!"_

Heather and the others reached the vault. "Okay, now to figure out the combination..." "Well he did say cloud nine", Harold said. "And how he could've had a dozen of those terrible tacos." "Okay. Nine, one, two... eight, six." Heather dialed the combo and then turned the hatch on the vault. The door opened and Chris walked out, wearing an odd hat, carrying a briefcase and smoking a pipe. "Yes, I win!", Heather said. "Hm, I do hardly recall having said this was the challenge", Chris said with a fake British accent. He started coughing, pulled the pipe from his mouth and dropped the accent. "But thanks for releasing me. It was getting stuffy in there." "You're not really smoking, are you?", Bridgette asked. "No, it's made of chocolate." Chris shoved the pipe in his mouth and ate it. "Mmm, good! Now, it's time for mystery movie day. I've got a challenge for each of you. Tonight, you're to meet me at the train station set." "I have a train set in my garage at home! It runs on solar power", Harold said. Chris scowled at him. "Fascinating. But first, I'll require full fingerprints and DNA samples from each competitor. Each of you has to get this evidence from any one of the other competitors, which means it's in your interest to prevent the other guys from getting your own. Now, go pack an overnight bag and get me my clues!"

Heather and Bridgette went back to the girls' cabin. "Okay, let's get some ink for hand prints", Heather said. "After we each make one, we'll swap." "I've got some calligraphy ink in my bag", Bridgette said. Heather smiled. "Really? What for?" "I spent a week studying Japanese last summer, wanted to make some haikus." She went to her bag, got the ink bottle and Heather got some paper. They made hand prints and traded them. "Great, now for the DNA samples." Heather pulled out her makeup bag, took out a brush and pulled some hair from it. "That should work. Bridgette?" Bridgette got a brush from her bag and plucked some hairs. "Perfect. Now we each have our DNA samples. Also..." Heather went over to Eva's bunk, found her bags and got a hair brush. Bridgette frowned. "I really don't think you should do that", she said. Heather rolled her eyes. "Whatever. I think it'll work." She took some hair from the brush and shoved it in her pocket, then hastily put the bag back.

Outside, Eva chased Harold down, grabbed him and forcibly took a hair sample and hand print. Harold managed to pull some of her hair out while she did this. Later, at dinner, Eva stormed in while the others were eating. "Okay, who's the dead man who messed with my stuff!" The other three teens looked at each other nervously. "WELL!" Harold took a deep breath and stood up, smirking. "I did it. And I must say, you've got some nice bras." Eva's face turned red and she charged at Harold. She screamed and slapped him across the face, which sent him flying. "YOU'RE GONNA PAY, NERD!" She pounced on Harold and began beating the crap out of him.

_Confession Cam: Harold_

"_Okay. I lied when I said I messed with Eva's stuff. And I know I'm probably gonna regret it for the rest of the season. And I'm aching all over from getting beaten up. But still, if I photocopy this hand print she made on my face, I've got all the evidence I need for the challenge!"_

An hour later, the four teens arrived at the train station set, where Chris was waiting. He walked by the teens with a box, and they dropped the evidence they gathered into it. "Okay, good job, guys. All aboard!" Chris and the others got on the train, and it started rolling down the tracks. "Welcome aboard the seven thirty to funville", Chris said. "Let the party begin!" Chef arrived from another section of the train with a cart covered in desserts. Harold smiled. "There's a party? Awesome!" Eva raised an eyebrow. "Wait, we all get a prize? Is the challenge over already?" "Not, not yet", Chris said. Bridgette grabbed a bag of chips and started eating them. Suddenly, the train car went dark. "Who shut off the lights!", Harold yelled. "Hey, who just- AAAHH!" Chris screamed and some punching and breaking sounds were heard. Then it stopped, and the lights turned back on. "That's better", Harold said. Bridgette looked down and gasped. "No it isn't! Chris is dead!"

Chris's body laid on the floor. Heather went up to examine it. She checked its wrist, then its eyes. "No pulse, eyes rolled back, can't hear any breathing... yeah, I think he's dead. Woohoo!" Bridgette glared at her. "Heather, stop it!" She ran over to the body and performed CPR for a minute. "Crap, he isn't responding... does anyone have a phone?" "Chris didn't let us bring any electronics here", Harold said. "What're we gonna do!" Harold ran around screaming until Eva grabbed him by the arm and stopped him. "Calm down. Now." Harold gulped. "Okay." "Good. So, nerd, got any bright ideas?" "Knowing a bit about trains, I assume there's an engineer on board who can help us. Let me try the phone to the engine." Harold walked over to a phone on the wall and picked it up. "Hello, is anyone there? Hello? ...Hello?" Harold sighed and put the phone down. "The lines are dead." "Okay, new plan?" Harold looked up. "A ceiling hatch! Eva, let me climb up on your shoulders!" She crouched over and he climbed up. He looked out of the hatch for a minute and came back in. "We're heading for a tunnel!"

The lights went out again. Bridgette gasped. "Something brushed up against my leg!" "Something brushed against MY leg, too!", Heather said. "I keep brushing up against things that feel suspiciously like legs!", Harold said. "Hey, who's touching my boobs!", Bridgette yelled. "Oh, um, sorry", Heather said. "Totally an accident, really." Soon, the lights turned back on. Harold walked over to the bag Chris had brought onto the train and began sorting through it. "If this is real, and if we're really stuck in this car, then somebody in here must be..." He pulled out a magnifying glass and looked through it dramatically. "the murderer..." Heather raised an eyebrow and crossed her arms. "Are you serious?" "Of course I am! What's more serious than..." He looked through the magnifying glass again. "a murder..." Bridgette gasped. "Guys, Chris's body's gone!" "He's disappeared! That's it! I'm gonna figure out who done it, before it's too late. I don't wanna get... murdered... in my sleep!" "No one does, moron", Eva said. "Besides, this is one of the most obvious fake murder mysteries ever. So, we all see that Chris is gone." "Yes, and?" "Notice who else is gone? Chef." The others looked around. "Huh. He is", Heather said. "So you think he did it?" "Duh."

Harold walked over to where Chris had been on the floor and crouched down. He examined the space with his magnifying glass. "If that's true, than why did I just find one of your hairs?" "Because we're all in the train together? It's not like my hair is perfectly stuck to my head." "I think you did it! You've said before how Chris is gonna pay for what he's done, and you're very violent. It makes sense that you would try to kill him at the first opportunity." "Okay, I know I wanna kill him, but I swear, I didn't do it." Harold glared at her. "At this point, we can't trust you. Right, girls?" Heather rolled her eyes. "Whatever." Harold went back to Chris's bag, pulled out a pair of handcuffs and cuffed Eva to a metal bar at one end of the train car. Eva quickly broke the cuffs. Harold sighed.

"Okay, you keep looking for clues if you want. Bridgette, Eva, let's find a way off this train", Heather said. They found a trap door at the bottom of the car and Eva yanked it open. "Let's see if there's a way to stop it from down there..." Eva stuck her head through the trap door. "Um... I dunno, throw something onto the tracks to stop the wheels?" "Good idea." Heather got some things to throw, including Harold's magnifying glass, but none of them worked. "Well, I'm out of ideas." Meanwhile, Harold walked up to the girls, grinning. "I found the next piece of evidence!" He held up a napkin with some grease stains and fingerprints on it. "Looks like someone tried to satisfy their cravings with potato chips before they did so with murder! And who's the only person who had chips here?" Bridgette went wide-eyed. "Wait, no, it wasn't me! I'd never kill anyone!" Harold went over to Chris's bag and pulled out another pair of handcuffs. "The evidence doesn't lie!"

The door to the train car opened and Chris walked in, laughing and holding his fake corpse. "Man, I really had you guys fooled!" He held up the fake corpse. "I look good in rubber, don't you think? Crackerjack special effects, dudes." Harold smiled. "Whoa, coolio! How do I get a rubber Harold?" "Threaten to quit your hosting job, unless they give you an extra big budget to psych the kids out." "I told you this was fake", Eva said. "Nonetheless, the winner of today's reward challenge is the person who solved the mystery. And since the rest of you were more interested in getting off the train, while Harold figured out the culprit, the winner is detective Harold. His reward is a night at the movies with a friend of his choice." Harold smiled. "Awesome! I pick... Heather." Heather groaned.

After they stopped the train, Harold and Heather went and watched their movie at the stadium. It was a cheesy zombie movie starring Chris. Heather watched while eating popcorn with a bored look on her face. Harold sat next to her, watching her. He scooted a bit closer, reached behind Heather and put his arm around her. Heather glared at him. "Harold, get off me!" She threw the popcorn at his face and Harold moved his arm. "Fine, gosh! You don't have to be so mean about it."

_Confession Cam: Eva_

"_First he goes through my stuff, then he accuses me of killing Chris, and THEN he takes Heather to the movie instead of me. You'd think he would've tried to make up for screwing up earlier! Well it's his loss. If he keeps this up, the next murder's NOT gonna be a mystery."_

_Confession Cam: Heather_

"_Harold's gone too far. He tries to make a second alliance when he's already in mine, and then calls ME mean for being upset with him? Really? Not cool. He is going down."_


	21. Chapter 21

Chapter 21: Battle of the Blands

The next morning, the girls were talking in their trailer before breakfast. "So, how was the movie?", Bridgette asked. "Not very good. Just a dumb B-movie starring Chris. Believe me, you weren't missing out on anything." "I missed out on a perfectly good chance to beat the snot out of that punk", Eva said. Heather rolled her eyes. "Don't worry, you'll have another chance soon enough." Right on cue, they heard some drumming coming from outside. They walked out to see what was up, and so did Harold. They found Chef playing the drums and Chris standing by. Chef hit the symbols and Chris winced, then smiled. "Nice of you to join us", he said. "Today's movie genre is... drum roll, please." Chef did a drum roll. Chris prepared to speak but Chef didn't stop drumming. "Okay, Ringo, the spotlight's not big enough for the both of us!" Chef stopped. "Today's movie genre is..." Then he started again. "The rock and roll biopic!" Harold cheered. "Alright!" He ran over to Chris and Chef and played an air guitar. "Zip it, dude. So, any good rock and roll movie starts with kid from humble beginnings, drawn into the seemingly glam world of rock music. After overcoming enormous hardship, the kid gets a break and makes it big. Bigger than me, even. The kid is then drawn into a scandalous world of stuff I'm not allowed to talk about in front of minors. Things that lead to dangerous addictions, multiple divorces, the occasional night in the joint, and an untimely death while sitting on a toilet." Heather raised an eyebrow. "So... drugs?" Chris frowned. "Yes."

_Confession Cam: Chris_

"_Please, do not try any drugs as a result of seeing this show. If you do, I will be sued, and will be unable to afford the maintenance of my fabulous smile."_

Chris continued his speech. "A few things that any certifiable rock god needs to know that I CAN talk about? You need to know how to rock out on the guitar, work the paparazzi, and trash a hotel room." Chris laughed. "Any questions?" Bridgette raised her hand. "I've got one. Why is Owen standing over there?" Owen walked over to the others from where he'd been hiding and waved. "Hey, everybody!" Chris sighed. "Way to spoil the surprise, Bridgette. Okay, I'll tell you... because I'm the host, and can do whatever I want, I've decided to bring someone back to the show. And now you all know who it is already." Owen pulled everyone into a group hug. "Man, it's great to be back! I missed you guys." "Right now I just miss breathing!", Harold said. Owen let the others go and laughed. "Yeah, sorry about that!" Chris cleared his throat. "Yeah, Owen's parents filed a lawsuit and won. He did get his jaw busted, and could not perform properly on the show as a result, which resulted in his elimination. So now he's back.

_Confession Cam: Owen_

"_My folks didn't really file a lawsuit. I'm just here to pay off our debt on the cheese cellar. Chris said he'd let me back on the show and gimme fifty grand if I stir up the doo-doo on set. I don't really wanna cause trouble, but what choice do I have?"_

"Alright people, time for your first big gig! Meet me at the rock stadium in ten minutes. Don't worry how you'll find it, you can't miss it!" Chris left the teens at the trailers and Chef followed him with the drums. Two hours later, they reached the rock stadium, which was in the middle of the normal one. Chris glared at the teens and tapped his watch. "You're late! You were supposed to meet me here over an hour ago!" Eva glared back at him. "You said meet you at the rock stadium. How were we to know you set it up on ANOTHER stadium!" Chris smirked. "Not bad. First step to becoming a rock legend is to show up late to your own show." Owen walked onstage last, eating a sandwich. Chris glared at him. "What's with all the eating? I told you, no outside food!" He turned to Chef. "Didn't you strip search him?" Chef shook his head and Chris sighed.

"For the first challenge, you're gonna be rockin' out on the guitar!", Chris said. "But I don't know how to play guitar", Bridgette said. "I figured some of you wouldn't. Since you can't all play guitar and half of you probably can't read music, you'll be playing a fake guitar. The notes to play will be represented by colored spots on the screen up there, which corresponds to spots on the guitar. You will play simultaneously, during which you'll be eliminated. Every time you play a wrong note, you get zapped." Chris laughed while the teens gasped. "Don't worry, you'll live. Though you may never be able to play the piano again." "I can't do that anyway", Heather said. "Or use the phone." Heather screamed.

_Confession Cam: Heather_

"_Thank goodness I can play violin. Playing a guitar can't be all that different, right? I hope so. I NEED to be able to text." _

Chris gave the five teens their guitars, then left the stage. He sat down in a lawn chair in front of them. "Are you ready to rock out!", he yelled. "For those about to rock, I salute you!", Harold said. He saluted and Heather rolled her eyes. "And... rock on!" The music started playing and so did the guitar players. They tried to copy the pattern on the screen above them, with Harold doing the best. "Would you look at that? Harold's on fire! And, uh, so is his guitar." Harold's guitar began smoking and spewing out sparks. Then it caught on fire. "Water! Water!" Chef ran onstage and threw a bucket of water at Harold, who was electrocuted by the guitar. "Shoot..." Meanwhile, Owen was hopping around the stage while playing his guitar. He ran off the side of the stage and fell down, crushing his instrument. The girls kept playing. Bridgette's guitar exploded for some reason, leaving just Eva and Heather. Heather was doing okay, but Eva missed half the notes and kept getting shocked. She growled, gripped her guitar by the neck and slammed it down, splitting it in half. "Nice going, Eva, you broke it!", Chris yelled. Eva threw the neck at him. "Zip it!" "No, I was being serious. Rock stars do that all the time! You win the challenge." Eva smiled. "Oh. Well that's nice..."

"Okay, time for our second challenge!" Chef led the cast members to a red carpet set, and Chris arrived soon after in the lame-ousine. Chef opened the door when he pulled up. "Welcome back to the rock and roll biopic edition of Total Drama Action", Chris said. "Now, in order to become a true rock and roller, you must know how to work the paparazzi. First part of your second challenge is an obstacle course of fans, photogs, groupies and autograph hounds. You'll start at the lame-ousine, walk up the red carpet, past the obstacles, and finally backstage. One of you will win. The rest will be celebrity roadkill. Eva, for winning the first challenge, you get our backstage pass and will start halfway through." Chris handed a card to Eva. "Now, if you could all have a seat except Eva..." The other four teens sat down in some director chairs at the edge of the red carpet. "And, action!" Eva ran by the fake paparazzi and fans. "Move it or lose it!", she said. She shoved a few of them out of her way, and since they were made of cardboard they broke in half. She punched one of the fake photographers. "Keep that camera outta my face!", she said. Last up was the bouncer. Eva glared at the fake buff guy and held out her pass. "See this thing? This means I get in there. Move it!" And, the bouncer receded into the floor. "Nice work, Eva! Now that was a rockstar attitude. Next up, Owen!"

Owen went to the lame-ousine and came back out. "Aww, yaaaay!" He waved, smiled and blew kisses at the photographers, but then got blinded by a flash from a camera, fell over and rolled down the carpet to backstage. Chris facepalmed. "Next, Bridgette!" Bridgette ran from the limo and passed the photographers. She waved and smiled as she went by. She high-fived a fan and took a sandwich from a tray, then went backstage. Next up was Harold. He came out of the limo and did some odd hand gestures, trying to do some "rock on" horns. "Rock and roll! I mean, rock and roll! I mean, uh, rock and roll!" He chuckled and walked down the carpet. "Get on with it, sissy!", Eva yelled. Harold started crying, covered his eyes and ran backstage. Last up was Heather. She came out of the limo waving. "Good evening, everyone! Thanks so much for coming to see me!" She walked past the photographers, doing some turning poses on her way. Next was an autograph taker. "Ooh, a fan! Here you go..." She scribbled her name on the notepad and walked on. She hugged a groupie, then took a shopping bag from a fake guy holding it out to her. She also took a sandwich from the tray. Then she ran to the bouncer and whispered something into its fake ear. The bouncer receded into the floor and Heather walked backstage, blowing a kiss out the door before closing it. Chris gave her a thumbs up.

Chris walked out and over to Chef, who handed him an envelope. "And now, the moment you've all been waiting for", he said. The teens walked out to join him as he opened the envelope. "Okay, here's the photos the cameras took. Eva punched, Owen tripped, Bridgette ran by, Harold, if that's not a cry for help I don't know what is, and Heather posed. So, our winner is... Heather!" The others looked confused. "What?" "But I made the best time!", Eva said. Chris laughed. "Who said this was a race? Your job was to work the paparazzi. All you did was hurt them while the others went by too fast, while Heather, due to her change of heart last season and immense ego-" "Hey!" "-actually gave them her time. So she wins, and gets an advantage in the next round where you'll compete for invincibility."

Chris brought the five teens to a fake hotel room. "Finally, the ultimate rock star challenge: trashing the hotel room. You've got thirty seconds on the clock, with Heather getting an additional ten for winning last time. And... action!" The teens got to work. Harold failed to smash a phone, Bridgette broke a photo, vase and mirror, Owen picked up a couch cushion and looked for change that had fallen down there, Heather broke some other mirrors, and then tried to pull the TV off the wall. "Oh come on, move already!" Eva walked up to her. "Move it! This is how it's done." She picked up the TV and hurled it through the fake window. Then she broke a lamp, stepped on Owen's foot and pushed him away from the couch, which she picked up and hurled into a wall. The wall fell over and Chris walked up to them. "Okay, forget the extra ten seconds, I think we have our winner! Eva gets immunity tonight. Now, you guys need to figure out who to kick out of the band."

On their way to the ceremony, Heather was talking to Bridgette. "So it's agreed, then?" Bridgette nodded. "Yep. Voting off Harold. As long as the others don't all vote for someone else, I think it'll work." Heather smiled and hugged Bridgette. "Thank you... I don't know how to say what this means to me. I appreciate your loyalty... how's that?" Bridgette smiled and returned the hug. "Thanks, Heather. No problem. Hopefully we'll both make it to the finals because of this."

_Confession Cam: Bridgette _

"_I don't like this at all. Sure, being in Heather's alliance is helping me stay here, but it's at the expense of my friends, and she's starting to get mean again. Helping her get revenge isn't right. So, uh... I'm gonna get to the final three, and then vote her off before the finals! Yeah, that's it. Good idea, right?"_

The girls arrived at the stadium, which no longer had the rock stadium onstage. Chris walked up to his podium. "Now for total drama", he said. "Five left, one must go, and it won't be Eva. So, make your votes!" They did so. "Alright. The gilded Chris awards go to Eva, Heather, Bridgette, and... Owen." Harold gasped and Heather glared at him. "That's what you get for trying to make a second alliance!" Harold gasped again. "You knew about that?" Heather nodded. "You betrayed me, Harold. Now you're paying for it. Adios, amigo." Harold got up to leave. "Well, goodbye guys..." "Wait!" Bridgette ran over to Harold and hugged him. "I'm sorry about voting you off. Are you mad?" Harold shook his head. "No, I understand. I wasn't being honorable enough, I deserve this fate." He turned to Heather and got down on his knees. "Oh, milady, I'm sorry! I should not have betrayed you!" Heather turned away. "I appreciate your apology, but it's too late now. Get out of here." Harold frowned and got up. "Yes, milady." He walked away and hopped in the lame-ousine. "Rock on, Total Drama peeps! I'll be rooting for you! Except Eva." Eva growled as Harold's ride drove off. "Whatever. I don't need your support anyway."


	22. Chapter 22

Chapter 22: Kung Fu Pandering

After the elimination ceremony, Heather and Bridgette went back to the girls' trailer to talk. "I still can't believe Harold tried to make another alliance", Bridgette said. "I can", Heather replied. "It was a good plan, too. More allies means less chances of being voted off. However, I will not accept betrayal. Got it, Bridgette?" Bridgette gulped and nodded.

_Confession Cam: Bridgette_

"_Okay, maybe I shouldn't wait til we're in the final three to vote off Heather. I'm worried she's gonna go off the deep end soon." _

The girls went to sleep after Eva got back. In his trailer, Owen went to sleep as well. They all awoke a few hours later due to someone banging a gong nearby. Owen got up and looked around. "Holy pizza pockets, where the heck are we?" "It looks like we're back at camp Wawanakwa", Heather said. Then, Chris appeared. Hanging from some wires, he seemed to float through the air over toward the former campers. "Whoa, that's so cool!", Owen said. Chris landed and did some martial arts moves, then bowed slightly and removed his wires. "Honorable competitors, welcome to the Total Drama Kung Fu reward challenge", he said. "Shot on location here in the beautiful Japanese forest. Today, we're splitting you guys into teams of two. Heather's with Eva, and Bridgette is with Owen." Owen laughed. "Cool, this is gonna be so much fun!"

_Confession Cam: Owen_

"_Chris wants me to try and break up Bridgette and Heather's alliance, to create more conflict. I'm not sure how that's gonna work, though." _

"In Kung Fu movies, actors train with stunt choreographers before they film their fight scenes", Chris said. "So, today each team will have a trainer and a fighter. Pick your roles and train as hard as you can in the Kung Fu style of your choice. The battle begins when noble heron flies east." "So... when is that?", Eva asked. "In four hours. May the best fighters win!" Chris put his wires back on and jumped up, making it look like he flew into the air.

Eva walked up to Heather. "I'm the fighter. You're the trainer. Deal?" Heather nodded. "Deal. Do you even need training though?" Eva shrugged. "I'm not much of a martial artist, mostly I just punch people or throw things at them." "Well, I'll see if we can fix that." Bridgette walked over to Owen. "Okay, I think you should be the fighter." Owen smiled. "Really, you think I can do it?" "Of course! You're a big guy, you can hit hard. You just need some training."

_Confession Cam: Bridgette _

"_Okay, that was a lie. Owen's too fat to be good at anything but sumo wrestling. But I can't tell him that! And, I really don't wanna fight Eva or Heather. Eva would beat the crap out of me, and Heather's in an alliance with me. Competing against each other is not gonna help things stay that way."_

After that, everyone went back to the film lot. Once there, Bridgette took Owen to a parking lot with a towel and a bucket of water. "Okay, first up is learning the motions. You need to know how to strike and block from all angles. Get the towel wet..." Owen did so. "Now start cleaning the windows on the cars." Owen looked confused. "Why?" "I saw it in a movie once. Just clean them, and be sure to use circular motions." Owen sighed and got to work. Meanwhile, Heather was sparring with Eva. Eva threw a few punches, but Heather dodged them. "You can't just throw haymakers at me. Faster strikes, and try a few kicks, too." Eva glared at Heather and began punching faster. She threw one solid punch and Heather blocked it. She smirked. "Oh please, you're gonna have to do-" And then Eva threw another punch and hit Heather's face, knocking her over. "better than... that..."

Next, Owen did some pushups while Bridgette cheered him on. "That's it, Owen! Keep going! Eight... nine... ten!" Owen collapsed and tried to catch his breath. Across the field they were in, Eva was doing some pushups with Heather sitting on her back. Bridgette groaned. After that it was lunch time. Heather got Eva a sandwich and a salad, while Owen had about five pounds of food. After lunch, the teams did some combat practice. Bridgette went to the woods with Owen, where they set up a scarecrow for him to fight. "Okay, practice what I taught you!" Owen nodded and charged at the scarecrow. He did some sweeping chops, and tried to do a roundhouse kick, but fell over onto his face instead. Back at the film lot, Heather was sparring with Eva again. This time, she was punching while Eva blocked. Then, Heather kicked Eva in the shin. "Oww! What was that for!", she yelled. Heather rolled her eyes. "You really expect Owen to just punch you? Not likely. You need to know how to avoid kicks as well. Try taking a step back when I try to kick you." Eva nodded. "Right."

Before the challenge, Owen had a snack break. "Mm, it was nice of you to train me, Bridgette", he said between bites. Bridgette smiled. "No problem." "You really are nice, you know. Not like Heather." Bridgette frowned. "Owen, don't talk about her like that. Heather's a lot nicer than you think. I'd know, I've spent all season with her." "Not today", Owen said. "Today she's with Eva. What if they're making a plan to vote you off?" Bridgette went wide-eyed. "You know, that's a good point. She probably wouldn't tell me if she were kicking me out of the alliance, she'd vote me off first." Owen nodded. "I think you should leave the alliance. I wouldn't vote against you, so we could team up and vote off Heather or Eva." Bridgette turned away. "I don't know, Owen..." "Well just think about it, then." Bridgette sighed. "I will."

They went to the Kung Fu movie set, and so did Eva and Heather. When they arrived, Chris appeared in a cloud of smoke. He walked over to them, playing a flute, and bowed. Then he threw the flute away. "Most worthy competitors, welcome to the Total Drama Kung Fu showdown!" Chef jumped down from a nearby building, pulled out a katana and sliced up a paper curtain, which burst into flames. It turned to ash and revealed two brightly colored humanoid robot suits. "See, the fighters go in the robot suits and the trainers operate them with these here joysticks." Chris pulled out the joysticks and tossed them to Heather and Bridgette. "What the heck was that training for, then!", Eva shouted. "It's a lesson in zen, oh student! You have two minutes til the match beings. Suit up, fighters!" Chris bowed and disappeared in another cloud of smoke.

The teens walked up to the robot suits. "Wait, I'm not gonna fit in either of these", Owen said. "Sucks to be you", Eva replied. She suited up and Bridgette frowned. "Well, I guess I have to fight, then." She handed the joystick to Owen. After she and Eva suited up, they had a minute to practice the controls, but it didn't go well. Then, Chris returned. "Okay, that's enough practice. When the beautiful geisha sounds the gong, the match will begin." Chris pointed at Chef, who was scowling and dressed as a geisha. Owen ran over to Chris. "Hey, can I go use the bathroom real quick?" Chris nodded, and Owen leaned in close to him. "What do I do?", he whispered. "Throw the fight!", Chris whispered back.

Owen returned after his break, and Chef hit the gong. "Let the match begin!", Chris said. Heather and Owen moved Bridgette and Eva to the center of the area and made them start fighting. Eva kicked Bridgette, then punched her stomach. "Ow!" Owen made Bridgette punched back. "Ow! No fair, she can hit just as hard as me!" Heather glared at her. "Blame the robot suits, this was not my idea." The two fighters exchanged a few more punches. Owen made Bridgette back up, then rammed the joystick forward to make her charge at Eva. The joystick broke. Heather grinned wickedly and made Eva dodge. Bridgette crashed into a pillar. "Owen, do something!", she yelled. "I can't, the joystick broke!" Eva smirked and Heather walked her over to Bridgette. Eva kicked and punched the stuck robot suit until it fell to pieces. Chris cleared his throat. "And the winners are Heather and Eva!" The girls cheered and Chef helped Eva out of her robot suit. "Since they won, they get to compete for the reward. Here's where things get interesting!"

Heather groaned. "I hate it when you say interesting, it always means painful." "Correction: exciting means painful. Interesting means life threatening." "I am so glad I lost already", Bridgette said. Chris held up a cup. "Each of you must carry a glass of water to the top of the tallest mountain in Japan: Mount Banshee." Chris pointed at the cliff at camp Wawanakwa. "There you'll find a bonsai tree guarded by a mysterious Kung Fu master. Try not to spill any water on your way up. You'll need it to brew Kung Fu tea as payment for the bonsai. And, if there isn't enough tea to fill the master's sacred cup, you'll wish you were dead already so the pain would be over. First girl to bring the bonsai back down the mountain alive wins. And, as an added bonus, I'll have Owen act as a guide and manservant during your climb." "Huh?" "You need the workout anyway, bro."

Chris brought the girls and Owen to the base of the cliff on the island. Owen brought the girls their cups of water. "Let's get this over with", Eva said. "Right behind ya, just gotta tighten my laces!", Owen said. He bent down and pretended to tie his shoes. Heather and Eva started climbing, and soon Owen was catching up to them. Then passing them. Heather went wide-eyed. "How on earth are you doing that?" Owen chuckled. "Can't tell ya, it's a secret!" Actually he was just wearing a wire as Chris had someone use a crane to pull him up. He climbed over to Eva and whispered into her ear. "You know what would be funny? Making Heather spill her water glass all over herself", Owen said. Eva punched his stomach. "I'm trying to win a challenge here!" She kept climbing and Owen went over to Heather. "Eva's got some major anger issues. I bet if you ticked her off she'd crush her own water glass", Owen whispered to her. Heather rolled her eyes. "Yeah, that could work, but then she'd try to kill me later. No thanks." "Well, okay then..."

Owen was pulled up to the top of the cliff, where Chris was waiting. "Owen, I brought you back here for a reason. This is Total Drama, now stir up some drama! If you don't, we'll send you straight home, and you can forget about the money we promised you." Chris gave a signal to the guy working the crane and Owen fell back down the cliff. Heather and Eva were still steadily climbing. Owen went over to Heather again. "Don't you think Eva's really mean?", he asked. "Of course she is. What's your point?" "Well, uh, you used to be mean, but now you're really nice. And because of that, you won last season! You need to show Eva that being mean is wrong. Don't let her win the challenge!" Heather smirked. "You know, I like the sound of that." When Heather and Eva reached the top of the cliff, Heather picked up a rock. She threw it and broke Eva's glass. Eva growled. "Okay, Heather. You're going down."

Heather ran to the Kung Fu master with her cup of water and poured it into the teapot. "Enjoy your tea!" She picked up the bonsai tree and ran off. "Bye!" Eva ran at Heather and tried to catch her, but she jumped over Eva's head. The Kung Fu master glared at Eva's empty hands, and then they started beating each other up. Meanwhile, Heather climbed back down the cliff. "Yes! I win! All hail the queen of nice!"

Heather, Eva and Owen returned to camp. Heather claimed her reward: a fancy Japanese meal with tea, sushi and a bizarre noodle and fish soup. "Mmm, this is good stuff. Bridgette, come over here!" Bridgette smiled, walked over to Heather and picked up a cup of tea. "Thanks." Heather smiled. "No problem. It's the least I can do for my ally." Meanwhile, Owen secretly took a bowl of the soup. "Mmm, tastes like... poisonous blowfish..." He passed out. Eva just watched Heather and Bridgette, scowling.


	23. Chapter 23

Chapter 23: Shoot for the Moon

The day after the Kung Fu challenge was calm and peaceful, but the evening was not. Around midnight, the cast members awoke to the sound of music blaring into their trailers. "Shut up, I'm trying to sleep!", Eva yelled. She and the others looked around, and saw Chef drumming in front of a giant pillar. Chris waved and walked up to them, wearing an loincloth. "Good morning, cast! Or should I say good middle of the night? Hope you're all well rested and ready to go where few men and women have gone before." "Why are you in a loincloth? We already did a period flick", Heather said. "I know, but we had to reuse the costumes since my hair and makeup takes about ninety percent of the budget." "Aww, dude, it's the middle of the night!", Owen whined. "And I was having the best dream about a bottomless deep dish pizza!" "Sorry, Owen. While today's movie genre may start at the dawn of time, it quickly moves up, up and away!" Chris pointed up to the full moon. "Oh, so we're doing an outer space movie? Cool", Bridgette said. "Alright, space cases. You'll soon be facing some out of this world challenges, but first, I have a very special surprise for you."

Chris walked over to the pillar and pushed it aside, revealing a table with some boxes on it. "Each of you has received one special item sent to you from the outside world, which must feel like a distant planet by now." Chris tossed the boxes to each of the teens. "Ooh, what'd I get?", Owen asked. He opened his package and pulled out a trophy. "A 'citizen of the school year' trophy? Awarded to the most trusting, caring, honest student, who always puts others before himself... excuse me..." Owen ran off crying with his trophy.

_Confession Cam: Owen_

"_Ever since Chris brought me back to cause mischief and stir up trouble for cash, I feel like I'm living a lie. Well, because I am. Sabotaging the others makes me feel so dirty, but my family needs the money..." Owen farted. "Anxiety gas." _

Bridgette opened hers next and pulled out a piece of jewelry. "Hey, my shark tooth necklace!" She put it on, smiling. "Looks nice", Heather said. "Now let's see what I got." She pulled out some photos. "What in the- that's my room! And that's my clock, who broke it!" Heather growled. "Damien, you are SO gonna pay when I get home!" Last up was Eva. She opened her box and smiled. "Oh my gosh, new headphones! Bass boosting, sound isolating, padded for comfort, awesome!"

When Owen came back, Chris walked up to the teens. "Alright, gang, time to blast off into the great unknown. Everyone knows a great outer space movie has three things in it. One: the zero gravity is always a trip. Two: the G forces are killer! And three: everything is recycled in space, including your own waste. And now for our first challenge. I'll meet you at the thrill ride set in ten minutes." Owen started shaking. "Did he say t-thrill ride?"

The teens walked to the thrill ride set and found Chris waiting. "Okay, first up is leaving the atmosphere. The way to achieve zero gravity is to fly a jet on a parabolic course with large vertical climbs and even larger vertical drops. But, with the price of jet fuel today, we're gonna simulate the effect on this makeshift space shuttle!" Chris pointed at a small shuttle tied to the top of some roller coaster cars. "This should hit the optimum speed needed to keep you all in a perpetual state of zero gravity." Owen raised his hand. "Um, have I mentioned my fear of heights? And falling? And floating in midair at heights that could result in falling?" "Is that thing even safe?", Heather asked. Chris proceeded to ignore the teens. "Your first challenge is to spend the rest of the night on the shuttle, sleeping in zero gravity conditions." "That doesn't sound so tough", Eva said.

Chris gave each of the teens a pillow and they got on the shuttle. "You all might wanna hold onto something that's bolted down, cause we're almost ready to launch!", he said. He slammed the door shut. Owen cheered. "Yes, finally!" "Owen, he said launch, not lunch", Bridgette told him. Owen sighed. "Aww..." An intercom in the shuttle turned on. "Five, four, three, two, one... blast off!" The shuttle began moving at an ever increasing speed and the teens screamed. Owen closed his eyes. "Please don't let me die, please don't let me die! Please don't let... meh... huh?" Owen opened his eyes and saw that he was floating in midair along with the others. "This is... awesome!" The intercom turned on again. "Alright, astronauts, it's gonna be a long night. Better get some sleep if you can." Bridgette smiled and began swimming through the air, bouncing off of walls and such. "This is so awesome! It's almost as cool as being under water!", she said. Eva rolled her eyes. "Yeah, whatever." She wrapped her arm around a metal bar and tried to fall asleep. Owen floated around, trying to catch a floating sandwich.

After a while, everyone fell asleep. A few hours later, they were woken up by a flashing red light, an alarm, and Chris talking over the intercom. "This is Houston, and you have a problem", he said. "You've been hit by an asteroid, and your guidance system is toast!" "What do we do! What do we do!", Owen yelled. "We have to steer it manually", Heather said. "Someone get the joystick on the control panel!" Bridgette swam through the air and grabbed it. She pulled it back and the alarm and red light turned off. "Way to go, Bridgette!", Heather said. Owen floated over to a window and kicked a hole in it. The alarm turned on again.

_Confession Cam: Owen_

"_Ohhh, I'm evil... Eeeeviill!" _

Chris turned on the intercom again. "Uh-oh, looks like you have a hole in your fuselage! You have exactly T minutes two minutes to plug the hole or you'll run out of oxygen." "Find something big, soft and form fitting!", Heather said. She looked over at Owen. "Oh, you have to be kidding me..." A few hours later, Chris stopped the shuttle. Eva, Heather and Bridgette walked out and collapsed on the ground, while Chef walked up to the broken window and patted the padding material. "Good job fixing the window with these two pillows", he said. Chris frowned. "Um, Chef? Those aren't pillows..." Chris looked down and realized it was Owen's butt. He ran away, screaming. "Good job with that stuffing strategy, Heather", Chris said. "As a reward, you get to choose who goes first to last at the next challenge. Heather smiled. "Okay, let's see... I pick Owen, Eva, Bridgette, and then me."

Chris led the teens over to a strange device which looked like a fat legless man attached to a crane. "Alright, gang, if you thought spending the night in zero G's was a stomach churning experience, then you're gonna LOVE this next challenge", he told them. We're gonna see who can last longest on the G force trainer, or as I like to call it, the vomit comet! If you thought you were under pressure before, wait til you feel the effects of fourteen times earth's gravitational force!" "I'm starting to regret having breakfast before this challenge", Bridgette said. "I could never regret breakfast", Owen said. He farted and some birds fell out of the sky. "Oops, my bad!" He laughed, while the others backed away. "Heather, you already chose the order. Owen's first, you're last." Heather groaned. "Yeah, you're welcome, guys."

Owen got in the suit part of the 'vomit comet' and Chris closed the helmet lid. "Have a nice spin, Owen!", he said. Chris hit the start button and the crane part of the comet twirled Owen around in a circle. He started screaming. "Okay, that's it! Let me out!" Chris hit the button and the device came to a stop. "Ten point three seconds. Man, that's not good. Eva, you're up next." Eva climbed into the suit. "Speaking of not good, what the heck is that smell?" Owen laughed. "Heheh, sorry!" Chris closed the lid and hit the start button. After several seconds, Eva threw up and Chris stopped the spinning. "Twenty three seconds... not bad, Eva, not bad. But, I'm deducting ten seconds for puking. Bridgette, your slightly soiled chariot awaits." She got in, Chris hit the start button and the machine twirled around for a bit. Then Bridgette started screaming and Chris stopped the ride. "Thirty Seconds, and you didn't even throw up! Way to go!" Bridgette got out and ran off. "I'll be back after I shower!", she yelled. "Okay, Heather, your turn." Heather gulped and climbed into the suit. Chris closed the lid and hit the start button. After a few seconds, Heather began screaming. Chris hit the button again and the spinning stopped.

"And Heather's time is... fifteen seconds. That means Bridgette wins! Where is she, anyway?" Bridgette walked up to the others in fresh, clean clothes, her hair still dripping. "Okay, I'm back. What'd I miss?" "You won!", Heather told her. Bridgette squealed. "Awesome!" She hugged Heather. Meanwhile, Chef went up to the suit part of the device and began chopping carrots into it. "Hope you all like gumbo!", he said. Heather threw up.

After not eating dinner, the girls went back to their trailer. Eva was relaxing and listening to her MP3 player while Bridgette and Heather talked. "Okay, we need to decide who we're voting off", Heather said. "I suggest we get rid of Eva, she's a far bigger threat. Agreed?" Bridgette looked away. "I don't know..." Heather raised an eyebrow. "Why not?" "Well... I... I think I'm leaving the alliance." Heather gasped. "You can't be serious! After all we've been through, you're leaving me NOW!" Bridgette frowned. "I'm sorry! Owen and I were talking the other day, and-" "Owen! You're gonna listen to that lard ball instead of me?" Bridgette nodded. "He said you're just using me to get to the finals. I won't let that happen. So you're on your own and so am I." Heather groaned. "Oh, come on..."

_Confession Cam: Heather_

"_Okay. Forget voting off Eva. Owen is out of here!" _

It was time for the elimination ceremony. The four teens went to the stadium and Chris walked up to his podium. "And four will soon become three as we eliminate another cast member", he said. "Everyone, cast your votes." They did so, talking to themselves while voting. "I'm sorry, Heather..." "That lard ball is going down!" "Time for miss mean queen to leave." "Hm... meh." "And the gilded Chris goes to... Bridgette, Eva, and... Heather." Owen looked at the others. "Wait, what?" Heather glared at him, and Eva just shrugged. "Sorry. Time for you to go", she said. Owen frowned and walked up to Chris. "So, do I still get the money you promised me?" Chris nodded and Owen smiled. "Awesome!" He ran off to the lame-ousine, cheering. The girls looked confused. "What was that about?", Heather asked. "Well, Owen's family is pretty deep in debt, so I offered to pay him and bring him back to the show if he promised to stir up some drama. And, based on the footage I've seen, he did his job pretty well." Bridgette sighed. "Sorry, Heather." Heather patted Bridgette's shoulder. "It's okay. The alliance is still over now, though." "Really?" Heather nodded. "You were willing to listen to him instead of me. Not very loyal, there. I wish you luck, Bridgette. You're gonna need it."


	24. Chapter 24

Chapter 24: Doctor Do-Nothing

The next morning, Chris barged into the girls' trailer, blowing a trumpet. "Wake up, sleepyheads! Breakfast is served, along with today's movie challenge. You've got ten minutes to get your sorry butts down there." Chris left the trailer as suddenly as he had entered. Eva yawned and got up. "What was that all about?", she asked. Heather groaned. "Challenge time."

The girls went to get breakfast, with Bridgette getting hers last. "Wow, Chef, these scrambled eggs actually look pretty good", she said. Chef just laughed. "Scrambled eggs, right!" Chef kept laughing. Bridgette left her tray on the counter, got a glass of juice and went to sit with Heather. "I think I'll skip breakfast today", she said. "Suit yourself", Heather replied. Heather took a bite of her 'eggs' but started choking. Bridgette gasped, got behind her and did the Heimlich maneuver. The food shot out of her throat and she started coughing. "You okay, Heather?" "Gah, yeah, much better. Thanks..."

Chris walked into the tent with a parrot on his shoulder. "Attention, ladies, it's challenge time. Today's genre is the animal buddy flick." Heather and Eva looked disappointed, and Chris glared at them. "Hey, you try coming up with two dozen good movie genres! It was either this, or guy in a coma movie! Now, the hallmark of any good animal buddy flick is the human and animal bonding. The human and animal start out as enemies. Then, through many misadventures, the animal and human grow to care about each other, becoming fast friends." Chris patted the parrot on his shoulder, which responded by biting his finger. He sighed. "You guys hold on for a sec." Chris walked away and began arguing with the parrot.

_Confession Cam: Eva_

"_Fast friends? That's a laugh. The only 'fast friends' I have are on the track team with me."_

After a minute, Chris came back, looking a bit roughed up, and the parrot had lost some feathers. "So, where were we? Right, the first animal buddy movie challenge will be to pick an animal and teach it to be just like you. That shouldn't be too hard, since you're all animals anyway. The cast member whose animal most resembles them at the end wins the challenge."

_Confession Cam: Bridgette _

"_This'll be a piece of cake. I'm great with animals, especially aquatic ones. Now if only we had a dolphin here..."_

Chris led the girls outside, where Chef was standing by a tarp draped over something. "Alright, girls, time to meet your BFFFFs, or best furry, flying or finned friends forever." Chef pulled the tarp away, revealing four cages: a bear, a raccoon, a shark and a chameleon. "Pick an animal and get training. You have three hours." "I call the shark!", Eva said. She walked up to its tank and bared her teeth at it. The shark did the same. "I'll take the raccoon", Bridgette said. Heather sighed. "I guess I pick the chameleon." Chris frowned. "Aww, no one wants the bear? You guys are no fun at all." Bridgette picked up the raccoon's cage and it screeched, then tried to claw her. "These guys have been tested for rabies, right?", she asked. "Naturally", Chris said. He leaned over to Chef and whispered "Did we check for rabies?" Chef shrugged.

Heather took her chameleon to the girls' trailer. "Okay, let's see what you can do. Try to match my hair." She pointed at her hair and the chameleon turned dark blue. "Um, okay, try matching my shirt." The chameleon turned bright red. "No, no, that won't do." Meanwhile, by the mess hall, Bridgette let her raccoon out of its cage. "Be free, buddy!" It jumped out of the cage and attacked her. Bridgette ran around screaming and tried to pull it off. Nearby, Eva was circling around the shark tank, humming to herself. The shark swam around, following her. Then, Eva jumped in the tank and began wrestling with the shark.

Back in the trailer, the chameleon kept changing colors. "Okay, try my hair again." The lizard turned dark blue again. "Darker." It turned a bit darker. "Okay, now less blue." It turned a dark gray. "Almost, almost... we're making progress!" Meanwhile, Bridgette and the raccoon wandered into the forest. "Okay, I don't know about you, but I'm getting hungry. Let's find some berries." Bridgette looked around and saw a raspberry bush. "Perfect!" She picked some, at one, and handed another to the raccoon. It ate out of her hand, then bit her finger. "Ow! Well, that's sorta better..." She patted its head. "That's a good boy..." The raccoon chattered a bit and they went back to the film lot.

The girls went and found Chris and Chef, who were sitting at a judges table. "Alright, time to see how similar you and your animal friends are! Eva, you're up first." Eva pushed the shark tank over to Chris and glared at the shark. It swam to the other end of the tank and tried to hide. "Eva, you turned it into a fraidy-fish! Sorry, but you only get four points. Heather, you're up next." Heather walked up. "Where's your animal buddy?" Heather picked it up off the top of her head- it had changed to match her hair color. "Not bad... seven points. Bridgette?" Bridgette shrugged, and so did her raccoon. "We didn't really do anything..." The raccoon chattered a bit and Bridgette patted its head. It smiled, and so did she. "Well, you both have the right attitude. Nine points, so you win." "Yes!" Bridgette picked up the raccoon and hugged it. "Great, now follow me."

Chris led the girls and their animals to a bus and drove it out into the forest. "Here we are, gang! Don't you just love field trips? Your next challenge is to find our way back to the film lot, which will be a ten mile hike through these woods, using only your animal buddies to guide you. But be careful, several vicious and life threatening traps have been set up along the way. First one back wins invincibility. Bridgette gets to shave thirty minutes off her final time for winning the first challenge. Everyone ready? And... go!" Chris hopped back in the bus and drove away. Eva shrugged and began pushing the shark tank. "Well, better find a river or something." She walked off in one direction, Heather in the opposite direction, and Bridgette between them. She started running. "Man, I hate being out in the woods..." The raccoon ran after her, chattering. "I'm a surfer, not a hiker. I belong in the water. So, let's just try to follow the route the bus took to get here and hope that works." She found a path and smiled. "Perfect..."

After a while, Eva found the river. "Alright, let's go." She pushed the shark tank in and her animal swam out of it, then raced off to where they had started. "Hey, get back here! You're going the wrong way!" Elsewhere in the woods, Heather ran into a tripwire and fell over. "Ouch!" She got up and brushed herself off. "Oh come on, what THAT the life threatening trap that Chris was-" Then she got hit in the stomach by a rock. "Never mind..." She kept walking and clutching her stomach. After a while, she walked into a pit trap. "Darn it! Chris, you're gonna regret this someday!" She climbed out of the pit and kept walking.

Eva chased the shark back up the river toward the film lot. "Okay, let's just keep going..." The shark looked at her and motioned for her to jump in. "No way, I'm not going in there. Gotta keep my MP3 player safe. I'll just jog." She began jogging down the riverbank near the shark. About a half hour later, they reached a waterfall over a lake. Eva took a step back. "Oh no. No way!" The shark swam down the waterfall and waited for her at the bottom. "I-I'm just gonna go around! Hang on a minute!" It took about ten. "Okay, let's keep going..."

Along the path, Bridgette and her raccoon walked into a net trap and were hoisted into a tree. "Oh, crap! Now how're we gonna win the challenge?" The raccoon began clawing at the net. "Good idea!" Bridgette pulled at the net, and after a while the two managed to break it. They fell down and started walking again. A few hours later, they reached the trailers. Chris walked up to them. "Bridgette! You and your raccoon are the first to arrive, congrats!" Bridgette cheered and the raccoon chattered. "Now let's just wait for the others..." A half hour later, Eva arrived, carrying her shark. "Can we get a tank for this guy? He's not really supposed to breathe air." "Coming right up. Chef!" Chef came over with a water tank and Eva tossed the shark in. Five minutes later, Heather arrived, covered in twigs and dirt. "So tired... so hating this place... gah..." She fell down. "Well, at least you made it back. So, since you missed it, I'll say it again. Bridgette wins, so she gets invincibility and a ticket into the finals! To find out who else is gonna make it, you'll have to come to the elimination ceremony tonight."

At the stadium, Chris walked up to his podium. "This is a big one, girls. In fact, it's the final vote of the season. It's time to see who's going to the final round. So, sharpen those claws and cast your votes." The girls did so. "Bridgette, you're already safe. The final gilded Chris of the season goes to... Heather." Eva went wide-eyed. "What?" "You heard me. Heather's safe. You're outta here." Eva stood up and glared at Chris. "No. No, I will not accept that! I'm the strongest player here! I got voted off twice last season! I'm the one who deserves the million! You can't make me leave!" Chris glared back at her. "No, no I can't. But Chef can." Eva looked around. "Where is he?" Suddenly, a dart flew through the air and hit Eva's arm. She fell over, knocked unconscious. Chef walked up and tossed a dart gun to Chris. "You're welcome, man." He picked Eva up and carried her to the lame-ousine. Then, Chris walked offstage and over to Bridgette and Heather. "Well, girls, congrats on making it this far- Heather, congrats for doing so twice. Tomorrow, one of you will become a millionaire! Go get a good night's sleep, cause you're gonna need it."


	25. Chapter 25

Chapter 25: Pirates of the Canadian

Heather and Bridgette were resting up before the finale, but were having trouble falling asleep. "I can't believe we made it to the finals", Bridgette said. "I mean, I know your alliance worked last season, but I didn't expect it to work again." "Guess it was worth it for you to trust me", Heather replied. "Now we're the last ones left... which means we get the trailer all to ourselves." Bridgette yawned. "Yeah, it's so much easier to relax without Eva here." Heather blushed. "Oh, yeah! That's totally what I was referring to! Well... goodnight!" Suddenly, the emergency exit in the roof opened up and someone threw a can into the trailer. It spewed out some purple fumes, and the girls were knocked out.

The girls woke up several hours later, tied to a mast in the middle of a pirate ship set. Heather groaned. "Guess the final challenge is starting now... Well, let's get these ropes off." After several minutes of struggling, the girls untied the ropes. Then, Chef walked up to them with a cart with a covered tray on it. "Breakfast, anyone?" Bridgette sighed. "Sure. I guess even slop is better than doing a challenge on an empty stomach." Chef removed the cover and the Bridgette stared in awe at the tray. "Holy crap, real food!" Chef nodded. "Yep. Fresh fruit to ward off scurvy, hot flapjacks to prevent, uh, lice or something, all prepared according to my highest personal standards."

Bridgette pulled the cart away from Chef and the girls began chowing down, but while they were eating, Chris, dressed as a pirate, climbed down from atop the mast and stepped onto the tray. "Yarr, mateys! Me parrot, Chris Junior Junior Junior and I want to congratulate ye landlubbers for makin' it to the final two! And, as ye can probably tell, today be space zombies movie day!" Heather raised an eyebrow and Chris dropped his accent. "It's actually pirate movie day, and you're on deck for a swashbuckling obstacle course, followed by a treasure hunt through the entire season's challenges. And, if you wanna claim your million dollar booty, you might wanna end your little alliance.

_Confession Cam: Heather_

"_Yeah, I don't know. Chris did make a good point, but I'm not gonna end my alliance with Bridgette just because we're competing against each other now. It's better to keep your allies around as long as possible. Besides, it's not MY million dollar booty I'm interested in..."_

Chris handed each of the girls a box of cotton swabs. "Obstacle number one: swab the poopdeck. Obstacle number two, pun intended: grab a flag, shimmy up the greased mast, and fly your jolly roger. And finally, a cannon ball! The target is the monster movie set from day one. Ready, set, and... go!" The girls ran into the two bathrooms on deck, and Chris walked over to Chef. "So, what's with the fancy food? Did you lace it with laxatives or something?" "Nope, just going out in style. That's the last meal I'm ever gonna serve on this two-bit show. I got me a job cheffing on a swanky cruise ship, so you can kiss my behind goodbye!" "Yeah, yeah, and I got a job hosting the Oscars. Very funny." Chef glared at Chris and stuck a grease brush onto his hat. "Who's laughing?"

Soon after, Bridgette finished swabbing. She ran out and grabbed a flag from Chris, then went to the mast. She tried climbing, but kept sliding back down. Meanwhile, Heather came out, went to the side of the ship and threw up. "This may just be the worst challenge ever..." "Heather, gimme a hand!", Bridgette yelled. Heather grabbed her flag and walked up to the mast. "Having trouble getting up there?" "I think we can do it together, just hand me your flag." Heather did so, and Bridgette put both flags in her pockets. "Okay, now hold my hand." Heather blushed and did so. "Now we just climb up together, and pull each other up if we start slipping. Easy." The girls climbed up, reached the top and attached their flags to the top of the mast. Bridgette smiled. "Thanks, Heather." "No problem."

The climbed back down and over to the cannons. "Ever fired an air cannon before?", Chef asked them. The girls shook their heads. "If you're gonna hit your target, this thing's gonna need a whole lot of air. Start pumping." The girls used some bicycle pumps to fill up the cannons. Heather looked at Chef. "What, no insults? Chef, are you okay?" Chef glared at her. "After two whole seasons, NOW you wanna know if I'm okay?" "Well, sorta..." The girls finished filling their cannons and Chris walked up to them. "Okay girls, hop in!" Heather groaned. "A human cannon ball challenge. Of course." Then, Chris turned to Chef. "You gonna fire the cannons, or just stand there and be useless?" Chef glared at Chris. "You see, that attitude is why I'm out of here. I'm tired of watching you do your bogus job and get all the glory while I'm stuck with all the grunt work!" "Hosting is WAY harder than what you do. I dare you to try it sometime. "Fine, let's go!" "Fine, be my guest!" "Can we get on with this?", Heather asked. Chris handed a remote control to Chef and he hit a button on it. Heather was launched through the air, screaming. He then hit another button and the same thing happened to Bridgette. "You see? Piece of cake, just like the rest of your job." "You'll see..."

Heather and Bridgette crash landed at the monster movie set. Heather groaned and rubbed her head. "Okay, now what do we do?" After she asked, a helicopter arrived and dropped Chef down. He pulled a cue card out of his pocket and looked at it. "Sweet landing, girls! I'm your righteous new host, uh, Chef!" He saw a camera and smiled at it awkwardly. "The rest of today's challenge is a ganar... gnarly treasure hunt, through all the previous challenges." "Chris already told us this", Heather said. "Oh, and did the ex-host tell ya that if you correctly answer a trivia question, you skip the challenge and move on to the next one?" Bridgette smiled. "Cool. What's the question?" Chef pulled out another cue card. "Okay, uh... who got the space boot after the alien challenge?" "Easy, Leshawna." "Follow up question: what is she allergic to?" Bridgette frowned and scratched her head. "I dunno..." "Pineapples", Heather said. Chef nodded. "Way to go, uh, dudette. You get to skip this challenge. Bridgette, you don't. Your task is to make out with the giant robot monster." The monster stomped over and Chef pulled out a walkie-talkie. "Let's make this love fest nice and slobbery", he said into it. "Don't be shy, now." The monster stomped over to Bridgette and picked her up. She closed her eyes and kissed its cheek, then started gagging. The monster giggled and dropped her, then walked away.

Heather ran over to Bridgette and helped her get up. "You okay?" "Yeah, just a little grossed out, that's all." Heather smiled. "Good. Now let's go to the next challenge." Chef led them to the hilltop set and pulled another card out of his pocket. He looked at it, then the girls. "Who was left on the editing floor after the make a movie challenge, and how many piercings did he have?" "Duncan had... uh... four, I think", Heather said. Chef nodded. "Alright, follow me." He led them to the water tower at the wild west set. "Okay, ladies, your next questions are: who took the train to crazy town after the cowboy challenge, and where did his fear of mimes come from?" Heather scratched her chin. "Well I know Trent's the one who got voted off, but I have no idea where his fear came from. Bridgette?" Bridgette shrugged. Chef pulled out a new cue card and read it. "Sorry, girls, but since you cannot say where Trent's phobia came from, the horse you jumped onto before will now jump on you. Time to saddle up." He threw some saddles to them, they strapped them on and walked over to the target area, and the horse jumped onto them. "Oww, my back!" "Oww, MY back!" The girls groaned in agony for a few minutes before they could get up.

After they could walk again, Chef led them to the next challenge. "Okay. Who got a get out of TDA free card after the prison flick, and what are the names of her reptilian pets?", he asked them. Heather looked grossed out. "Gwen has pet lizards? Gross!" "I have no idea what their names were", Bridgette said. Chef pointed at the obstacle course from the prison challenge. "Start running." They did so. Then he took them to the horror movie set, the war movie set, the sports movie stadium and all the other challenges. The girls got some questions right, but not all of them. Then it was time for the final challenge. "Okay, this question may determine who wins and who does not win the million bucks. Who was voted off after the animal buddy challenge?" "Eva, thank goodness", Heather said. "And what is her most valued possession?" "Her MP3 player!", Heather said. She smiled. "Ah, I still remember using that to get her booted off last season. Good times..." Chef nodded. "And, what's her favorite kind of music?" Heather facepalmed. "You have to be kidding." Chef shook his head. "So... what's your answer?" "Rock?", Bridgette asked. "Metal?", Heather added. Chef shook his head again. "Nope. You're both wrong. So, you both need to do the challenge." Heather sighed. "Fine. At least the animal challenge wasn't so hard." Chef laughed. "Yeah, that's why Chris decided to mix things up. Instead of doing the animal challenge, you have to do the disaster movie earthquake challenge again!"

Chef led them to the challenge, where Chris was waiting. "Okay, last time it was Chef's job to hurt you guys, now it's my turn. Challenge starts... now!" The girls ran up the shaking, breaking obstacle course, easily avoiding bricks and such that Chris hurled at them. "You throw like a five year old girl!", Heather yelled. "Yeah, and you couldn't hit the broad side of a barn!", Bridgette added. Chris glared at the girls, made a giant slingshot and launched a toilet at them. Then a sink. Then, Chef drove up with a large safe. "Need a hand?", he asked. Chris looked confused. "Really?" Chef nodded and helped him get the safe into the slingshot. They pulled it back, slowly. "The way you torture the kids... you're a natural, you know that?", Chris asked. "Knockin' em down, bruisin' em up, killing their spirits... nobody can do it quite like you, pal." "You really mean that?", Chef asked. "Yeah. I do. If you really wanna leave the show, it's cool. Good luck." Chef sighed. "Nah. I couldn't leave you all alone like that. You'd be terrible on your own. You're not that good." Chris smiled. "So... you'll stay?" "After I get a raise... and a vacation." "Deal." "Then let's finish these suckers off!"

Chef and Chris let go of the slingshot. The safe flew through the air, and landed on Heather. She screamed in pain. "OWWW! Get this thing off me!" Bridgette looked at Heather, who was pinned down and sliding toward a gap in the set's floor. "Bridgette? Please?" Bridgette frowned. She turned to run away, but then turned back and went to Heather. She grabbed her hand and started pulling. Heather tried to push up from under the safe. After a minute of struggling, she was free. She hugged Bridgette. "Oh my gosh, thank you so much!" Bridgette returned the hug. "No problem, Heather. Now let's finish this challenge together. After all, we're still in an alliance." Heather smiled. "And I'm so glad we are." They ran to the end of the obstacle course, and then into a nearby building. They kept running, through some doors, and saw Tyler and Courtney sitting on a couch in the middle of a stage. Courtney cleared her throat. "And the winner is... both of them?" The audience near the stage gasped. Tyler looked at Courtney. "So... what're we gonna do about the million dollars?"


	26. Chapter 26

Chapter 26: Aftermath 4

It's the Total Drama Action Aftermath Show! The camera turned on to show the losers and former campers onstage, awkwardly looking at Heather and Bridgette. Courtney groaned. "This wasn't supposed to happen... did anyone come up with a plan?" She looked the others, and they shook their heads. "Well that's just great." "I've got an idea. Let's stall for a little bit while we think of something", Tyler said. Courtney nodded. "That'll work. We've got some footage from the season. Let's watch it!" Courtney picked up a remote from the table in front of her and hit a button. The TV screen above her turned on, showing clips of all the funniest, most dramatic and most action packed moments from previous episodes. After a few minutes, it ended. Courtney smiled nervously. "Well, that was nice... Now, why don't you guys relax in the winner's chair?" She pointed to a throne by one of the couches onstage. "There's only one seat", Heather said. Courtney glared at her. "Deal with it." Heather and Bridgette struggled to sit down together on the throne. Heather glared at Courtney. "Can we at least get a second chair?"

"Since Chris is going away on vacation, we've prepared some never before seen clips of him", Tyler said. "We were gonna save 'em for later, but here's a few." Tyler took the remote from Courtney and hit the button. The screen above them turned on, showing Chris in a few embarrassing scenes, including singing in the shower and eating a sandwich very messily. The audience laughed. Tyler laughed. "Pretty funny, huh?" Heather rolled her eyes. "Yeah, hilarious. Now can we pick a winner already?" "Nope! It's time for the season finale of That's Gonna Leave a Mark!" He hit a button on the remote and the screen showed a series of clips. In order, they were Gwen breaking a shovel over Harold's head, Owen getting pelted by golf balls, Heather getting hit by a falling stage light, Lindsay vomiting on Gwen, Lindsay punching Harold, Owen sitting on Cody by accident, Lindsay getting hit in the eye by a paper plane, Chris shooting seagulls at the cast members, Owen's jaw being broken, Chef hitting Cody with a bowling ball, and Eva punching a camera, breaking it. The video ended.

"Guys, really, can we end this already?", Bridgette asked. Courtney smiled. "Actually, I've devised a completely unbiased way to determine the winner: a quiz show, hosted by me." "Lame", everyone said. Harold stood up from the stands and ran offstage. He came back with some boards and tools, and began building something. "What are you doing?", Courtney asked. "As a founding member of Inventor Steve's Junior Inventors' Gizmo League, I've been behind many an ingenious contraption in my life." He finished building and bowed. "Behold, the answer to our problems! To win the million dollars, Heather and Bridgette will have to contort their bodies to fit through these specially shaped holes. It's brilliant, really." Heather smirked. "This'll be even easier than last season." "It's kinda weird, though", Bridgette said.

Harold placed the wall and hole contraption on a conveyor belt and stood by it. "Prepare to contort!" Bridgette stepped onto the belt and it began moving. She bent herself to fit through the hole and made it. The audience cheered. Then, Heather got on the belt and did the same. The audience cheered again. Harold got a new hole set up and the challenge continued. Then another, and another, and then some really weird ones, including a crab and a palm tree that they had to jump through, a ladder and pretzel that they shouldn't have been able to do at all, and multiple clouds, making multiple holes. Last up was a hole shaped like Harold's head. Bridgette tried to go through, but her ponytail got stuck and she fell over. The wall collapsed on top of her. The audience gasped. "Okay, Heather, if you can handle this, you win the million!", Tyler shouted. Heather smirked and got on the conveyor belt. She got to the hole and almost made it through, but tripped and knocked the wall over. Tyler shrugged. "Well, it's a tie."

"Make a decision! I'm bored!", Eva shouted. "And you know what happens when I'm bored?" She cracked her knuckles and Tyler gulped. "Well, looks like it's time for those clips of Chris!" "Once you've seen this side of Chris, you'll never look at him the same way again", Courtney added. She took the remote from Tyler and turned the video on. It showed Chris sleeping, holding a teddy bear and sucking his thumb, then Chris without his hair, putting on a wig, then Chris going outside in his bathrobe, which got blown away by the wind. "What exactly is going on here?", Chris asked. Everyone turned and saw Chris and Chef walking onstage, glaring at the teens. "Did the network listen when I told them that putting a bunch of amateurs in charge would be televised poison? No, why would they? But now, I'm in charge and the real show can begin." He walked over to the couch Tyler and Courtney were sitting on, took the remote and shooed them away. "What we're gonna do here is give each ex contestant a chance to ask a question of Bridgette and Heather, because they'll be deciding who to give the million dineros to." The audience gasped.

Chris sat down and relaxed on the couch. "Before we do that, let's watch each of our finalists at their very worst. First up is Heather, the princess wannabe." The TV screen showed Heather throwing up, breaking a nail, struggling to complete the super hero challenge, and getting Harold voted off. "Not the most ladylike contestant, I'd say. And you get pretty jealous, too. And then there's Bridgette. You may be pretty good at surfing, but on land there are days you trip over your own two feet." The video showed her doing just that, as well as tripping over rocks, falling off of things and tripping on her way into the trailer. Bridgette sighed. "So I'm clumsy on land, so what? Everyone know that already. And do you guys even need to ask questions? I think you know me and Heather pretty well." Chris smirked. "Oh, I wouldn't be so sure..." Chris hit a button and the video changed. It showed Bridgette feeding some baby animals in the woods, and the audience awwed. Then it showed Heather going through the other girls' stuff and taking their makeup. The audience gasped, and Leshawna and Gwen glared at Heather. Chris laughed. "Yes! I'm back, baby!"

"Okay, now you all get to ask Heather and Bridgette a question to help you decide who deserves that cool mil. It's up to you to choose between these two sorry finalists. Geoff, Izzy, you wanna start us off?" They were busy making out. Chris shrugged. "Okay... Trent?" Trent stood up. "As part of Total Drama Action's movie theme, I wanna know about your character. Okay, let's say your boyfriend was here with you, on the other team, and was throwing challenges for you. What would you do?" "I'd let him keep doing it", Heather said. "If he wants to lose, it's his choice." Bridgette sighed. "I'd probably ask him to stop. Relationships are about equality, you can't just have one person be on the losing end of things all the time." Trent nodded. "Okay, next question. Gwen?" Gwen glared at Heather. "I wanna know how each of you plans to use the money you win to help save the environment when you're not busy thinking of yourselves." Heather scratched her head. "I hadn't really thought of that... I guess I'd get an electric car?" "I'd donate some of my money to help save the animals, especially dolphins. I love dolphins", Bridgette said. Gwen smiled. "Well, I've made my decision." "Okay, DJ, you're up next", Chris said. DJ stood up. "You are riding a bicycle quickly down a path, and there's a fork in the road. On one side are beautiful daisies. On the other, dandelions. You're gonna have to roll over one of them to get where you're going. Which path do you choose?" "Dandelions", both girls said in unison. DJ groaned. "No, you're supposed to stop the bike and save all the flowers!" Heather rolled her eyes. "DJ, stop being such a pansy."

Chris groaned. "Owen, entertain me." "I've recently decided to start eating healthy." "Yeah, right", Noah said. "Oh, no, no, it's true! After I cleaned out my family's cheese cellar over one ill fated weekend, a light bulb went off in my belly." Owen farted. "That's one noisy light bulb", Gwen said. The audience laughed. "And now, I want everyone else to eat healthy too!", Owen said. "I'm gonna get this whole wide world on a health kick! Hiyaah!" Owen did a karate kick and fell over. "Aah, my leg! Oww... so, Heather, Bridgette, I'd like to have an eating contest." Chris smiled. "Finally, a decent idea! Chef, bring in the nastiest stuff you've got!" Chef came in with a cart of health foods. "We've prepared tons of delicious kale, tofu, flax seed, plain yogurt, and other things, all part of a healthy, balanced diet. Eat right, stay bright!" Owen began doing some jumping jacks, but stopped after the second one to catch his breath. "Gah... let the healthing begin." Heather ate the tofu while Bridgette had the kale, and then they both forced down some of the flax seed and yogurt. Heather groaned. "I'm not feeling so healthy..." After another minute, Chris stood up. "Okay, time's up!" The girls stopped eating and Owen walked over to examine the cart. "Hmm, looks like they barely touched their seaweed. I'll have to factor that into my pick." "Okay, time for the next inquisitor. Duncan?" He crossed his arms. "I already know who I'm voting for. I'm good." Chris sighed. "Fine. Leshawna?" "I know how I'd spend the money if I won, but I wanna know how you'd spend it." Bridgette smiled. "I'd go on a vacation to Hawaii and donate some money to save endangered animals... and probably some other good causes. Not sure." The audience appluaded. "I promised Katie and Sadie I'd share my money last season. This season, if I win I need to share with them and Bridgette", Heather said. The audience applauded again, and Bridgette turned to Heather. "Wow... you'd really do that?" Heather smiled. "Of course. I couldn't have made it this far without you."

Chris checked his watch. "Okay Justin, make it quick, my plane tickets are calling." "I wanna know how you guys think my acting career is gonna go. Do you think I can be a leading man, or am I gonna be stuck doing character roles as villains, criminals and other surprisingly handsome antagonists?" Bridgette sighed. "Justin, you could totally be a leading man..." Heather rolled her eyes. "Yeah, probably. Not for any great movies though." Justin smiled and Chris facepalmed. "Lindsay?" Lindsay stood up. "I'm choosing Bridgette, because I'm still mad at Heather for getting me and Cody voted off last season. Thank you." "Lindsay, it has to be a question." "Oh. Um... do I hate Heather?" "Yes", both girls said. Lindsay was stunned. "Wow, you both know me so well! How am I gonna decide?' She sat back down. "Harold?", Chris called. Harold walked over to the girls and handed them some paper and pencils. "I will require you both to do your best drawing of a made up animal." He pulled out a stopwatch and hit a button on it. "Go!" The girls started drawing. "Stop!" He took the papers from them. "Hmm... nice Unicorn, Heather. And... Bridgette, this is just a whale." "No, it's a space whale! I didn't have time to draw space yet." "Oh, I see. Very good." He walked away and sat back down.

Chris checked his watch. "Okay, we're almost out of time. We can't do any more questions, so you guys need to vote. I've had Chef set up a voting booth backstage, so get going!" The losers and rejects went backstage and lined up to vote in the outhouse.

_Outhouse Cam: Gwen_

"_You're not seeing it. I refuse to be predictable."_

_Outhouse Cam: Lindsay_

_Lindsay blew her nose on some toilet paper, then began writing on her hand. Once she saw there was no paper, she got a new sheet and wrote on it._

_Outhouse Cam: Izzy_

_Izzy laughed maniacally as she wrote her vote out on some toilet paper. She stopped, scratched her chin and then resumed laughing and writing._

_Outhouse Cam: Courtney _

"_Once again, this show cheaps out on production. How much can a decent pen cost?" She struggled to write out her vote._

After voting, everyone came back to the stage. Chris cleared his throat. "A million dollars will be awarded right now. Whose will it be? I have the answer right here in this urn." Chris picked up a pickle jar with the votes in it. "And now, the votes. One for Heather... one for Bridgette. Heather... Bridgette. One for Heather, one for Bridgette. Heather, Bridgette. Heather, Bridgette... Explosivo? Huh. Heather, Bridgette... Heather, Bridgette, Heather, Bridgette... Heather, Bridgette, Heather, Bridgette... And the season two, Total Drama winner is... Bridgette!" Bridgette gasped, stood up and squealed while the audience cheered. Several of the teens onstage cheered as well. "Yes, I did it, I really did it!" Chris walked up to her and patted her shoulder. "Congratulations, Bridgette, you're a millionaire!"

Heather walked away to backstage, and Bridgette followed her. She found Heather sniffling and crying in a corner. "Heather? Heather, are you okay?" "No, I'm not okay! I just lost the million dollars!" She turned away from Bridgette. "I worked so hard for this... I won last season but lost the money, and now I've lost again. I hate losing!" Bridgette hugged Heather. "Hey, calm down, it's okay... I think I know what would cheer you up." "What?" "I'm gonna share my prize money with you." Heather looked at Bridgette. "But what about Katie and Sadie?" "They can have some, too." Heather smiled. "Really?" Bridgette smiled and nodded. Heather returned Bridgette's hug. "Thank you! Thank you so much, Bridgette!" "No prob. I couldn't have done it without our alliance." Heather put her hand on Bridgette's cheek and turned her head so they were facing each other. "Let's make this alliance even stronger." She leaned in close and kissed Bridgette. After a few seconds, Bridgette pulled away, blushing. "Wow... I was NOT expecting that." Heather blushed. "I like you, Bridgette." "I... I like you too. So, does this mean..." "This isn't just an alliance. It's a partnership." Bridgette nodded. "Okay. Now let's go my million bucks."

The girls walked back onstage. The audience was cheering and applauding like crazy. Chris stood up and turned to the cameras. "And so it ends. Thanks, from me, your beloved and humble host, Chris McLean. It's been a great season of Total Drama Action!"

**Well, that was an odd ending, wasn't it? However, if you look back, there have been hints about it throughout the season... at least for the Heather and Bridgette part. Not that half of you care... Anyway, thank you all for reading. I'm sorry about being so blunt lately, and not making announcements as much this season, but I've been busy with my family and I'm taking some classes over the summer that start in July. So, after one more chapter of this story, I'm taking a hiatus. I should start posting my season three fan fic in the second week of July. Look forward to it. Thanks for all the reviews so far, I appreciate them. Bye for now.**


	27. Chapter 27

Chapter 27: Celebrity Manhunt

After Total Drama Action ended, the lives of the twenty two Total Drama contestants went back to normal for the most part. However, they were still reality TV stars, and sixth months after second season, a talk show known as Celebrity Manhunt decided to do an episode about them, right before the annual Gemmie awards.

The program began. It showed clips of a satellite watching the earth, various celebrities being photographed by paparazzi, photographers being attacked, and then the hosts of the show, Josh and Blaineley. It cut to them sitting at a desk in a studio. "Hey there, celebrity lovers! Welcome to a very special edition of Celebrity Manhunt!", Josh said. "Tonight is the night we've been waiting for all year, the Gemmie awards!", Blainely said. "Tonight our favorite TV stars are gonna get all dressed up and take home the gold." "In about half an hour, we'll take you onto the red carpet to meet the hottest stars." "I am so pumped for this! Are you, Josh?" "Oh yeah!" "The shoes!" "The tuxes!" "The hair!" "The drama!" The hosts squealed.

"Tonight, we thought we'd pay tribute to this year's most famous reality show cast: the teens who braved it all on the set of Total Drama Island, and Total Drama Action", Blaineley said. "We'll catch you up on Beth, Owen, Heather, Trent, Duncan, Gwen, Lindsay, Katie and Sadie, Cody, Noah, Justin, DJ, Courtney, Harold, Tyler, Eva, Izzy, Leshawna, Geoff, Bridgette and Ezekiel." "They're nominated in the category of best reality ensemble." "I think they're gonna nail it, Blaineley!" "No doubt." "And when they reunite on that crimson rug, Celebrity Manhunt will drain every last drop of drama from these super famous teens. Love it!" The hosts fist-bumped. "Total Drama may have ended, but the drama goes on, and on!", Blaineley said. "Our crack team of undercover gossip reporters have been super busy this year. Hoser boy Ezekiel got his party on, Beth was caught with her pants down in Paris, Gwen spotted Heather's three ounce weight gain, and so much more." "Ooh, I can't wait to see those kitties bear their claws on the red carpet. Rawr!" "We've been measuring the popularity of this famous gang using our amazing, awe inspiring Celebrity Manhunt Drama Machine!" The camera cut to a mechanic working on the machine. "It's busted", he said.

"Let's start with Total Drama's newest BFFs. In season one, Lindsay plucked Beth from the depths of geekdom and became her gal pal." "They took off for Paris and painted the town red." "Literally!" The camera cut to some security camera footage of the girls in a museum. Lindsay stood in front of Beth with a video camera. Beth was posing awkwardly. "Look, mom, it's me and the Mona Lisa!", she said. "Ooh, you look so much cuter than her!", Lindsay said. "Okay, move in closer!" Beth moved in, but fell over on top of a barrier protecting the Mona Lisa. The painting shifted. A security guard saw this and gasped. "No, mister guard, I'll fix it", Lindsay said. She stepped up to the painting and adjusted it, then wiped a smudge off of it. An alarm went off, and the video cut back to Josh. "Okay, personally I would've given Beth a pass for being a bit clumsy, but Lindsay? That thing's a national treasure!" The camera cut back to Lindsay and Beth being locked up in a prison in Paris. "Wait, I can explain! Can I please have my phrase book back?", Beth asked. "Lindsay, help me out here!" "Did anyone see my other earring? It's a gold hoop with a little horse charm-" "Lindsay, they don't speak English." "Oh. I LOST MY EARRING! IT'S A HOOP, WITH A HORSE? NEIGH! HORSE?" The camera cut back to Blaineley. "Ooh, poor Beth. Her parents had to sell their car just to bail them out after weeks in the slammer!" "Will Beth and Lindsay be able to pull themselves together for the red carpet?" "Lindsay will totally bring it. She is a style super diva, on and off the red carpet." "Yeah, you're right. After one look at Lindsay in some designer dress, we'll all forget about the jail thing."

"Next up, post drama bods. This year, we saw major improvement, and fitness fiascos." The camera cut to Harold doing some beat boxing in a studio. He turned to the camera and patted his stomach. "So I had a few burritos. Killer beat boxing requires an expanded diaphragm, like an opera singer. Check it!" He did some more beat boxing, mixed with some singing. The camera then cut back to Blaineley. "Harold let himself go, but Eva pumped herself up. Way up!" The camera cut to Eva pulling a bus by her teeth, then back to Blaineley. "Someone's gonna blow a sweat valve!" "Deodorant, anyone?", Josh asked. He laughed. "Speaking of, one husky Total Drama dude worked up a reeeal bod stank in the nether regions of cable TV." The camera cut to Owen, working out on an exercise machine in a commercial and wearing a fake set of abs. "Woohoo! That feels awesome! And if you want sweet abs like mine, check out the Belly Buster Five Thousand! Just go haaaard for eight hours a day and turn your flabby gut into an awesome steel washboard! Grab the power handles, sit on the power spring, and go!" Owen demonstrated this, but soon lost control of the power handles and fell over.

The camera cut back to Blaineley, laughing. "Nice one, Owen. DJ also took to the airwaves." The camera cut to DJ and his mama in a kitchen. "Hey there, and welcome back to Mama's Heaping Helpings! Where we don't count calories, we count smiles." DJ tried to pick up a steak, but his mama whacked his hand away. Owen crept up behind them and tried to take one, but DJ's mama whacked him as well and the camera cut back to Josh. "Chock full of carbs, cholesterol and calories, their food was to die for." "Only problem was, people did! DJ, what were you thinking? We tracked down mama to answer a few questions." The camera cut to a video of DJ's mama being approached by the paparazzi. "There she is! Mama, mama, what do you have to say for yourself?" "Get outta my face!" She pushed the camera away and the paparazzi guy fell over. The video ended. "After a few dozen lawsuits, DJ and his mama were left with nothing but a tour bus full of shattered hopes and dreams."

"While DJ and his mama aired their dirty laundry, we went looking for more." "But when it comes to one Total Drama teen, there was no dirty laundry." "Or any sign of him! Noah, where are you?" "A pathetic telephoto shot is all we got. But don't worry, folks, we'll hunt him down on the red carpet tonight." "Meanwhile, our cameras were hot on the trail of another Total Drama man of mystery." "Our home schooled hoser turned homie, Ezekiel, went back to the farm for some downtime. Celebrity manhunt caught up with him." The camera cut to an interview of Ezekiel at the farm. "Yo, yo, yo, paparazzi peeps! Y'all want a piece of the Zeke? Sup!" He held up his gold necklace and tried to remove it, but his arm got stuck. He fell over. "Uh, kinda stuck here, can you put the cameras down and help me out? Guys?" A bull walked up to Ezekiel and began displaying its affection for him. The camera cut back to Josh. "It don't matter how much bling you sling, brother, you gotta EARN street cred."

"Next up, Gwen and Heather. Their epic hate-on hit the internet where they had a full-on blog war. "Heather may have turned nice over the last few seasons, but she's done some regressing since then." "If there's a fight between Heather and Gwen, I'm on team Gwen all the way!" "Me too! Grumpy Gwen doesn't wear the team uniform, she's weird and awesome and the total anti-Heather." "Let's check out some web action from earlier this year." The camera cut to a video from Gwen's blog. She was sitting at her desk, with Katie and Sadie standing behind her. "Hey. Today, I wanna talk about going green. Basically, the world is going to die if we don't do something about it!" "Katie, remember when we went green?" "Guys?" "Oh my gosh, Sadie, when you helped paint my bedroom green and we got into that paint fight? It was sooo fun!" "I know! And just because we got into one little paint fight doesn't mean we're not BFFs!" Gwen covered her ears and closed her eyes. "Guys! Shut up, shut up, shut up, shut up!" "I know! And look, I'm still green!" Katie turned around and pointed at a stain on her shorts. Gwen groaned. "Ugh, you were supposed to wait for the signal before talking, remember?" "Sorry Gwen, it's just that your show is kinda... bad." Gwen groaned. "Why did Leshawna bail on me?"

The video ended. "Then came Heather's online attack", Blaineley said. A new video started, showing Heather and Bridgette. Heather was wearing a Gwen wig and scowling. "This is the loser Gwen show, where everything sucks and the world is terrible. I'm trying to save the environment but I suck at it and have to resort to stealing Heather's friends to make the show. I wish Duncan were here instead so I could kiss him even though I'm way too scared to tell him I love him, because I'm too cool." She pulled out a picture of Duncan and kissed it. "PS, save the whales!" "Heather, don't you think that's a bit harsh?", Bridgette asked. Heather pulled the wig off. "No it isn't! Gwen's a terrible person, and that's final!" The video ended and the camera cut back to Josh. "So cold!" "Burr... Gwen couldn't let this go. She HAD to retaliate, which is too bad, she's so much better than that." The camera cut to Gwen's blog video again. "Did you know that Heather couldn't get a date to the semi-formal? That's right, the most famous girl at her school was turned down by every guy in school. And what did she do? Crash the party in a blaze of defiance? Stage her own protest semi-formal? Nope. Heather stayed home and made out with her cat Bruiser. Her little cousin sent me this footage." She held up her laptop, which showed the cat licking Heather's lips in her sleep. "Do you know where Bruiser's tongue has been, Heather?" The video showed Bruiser licking its private parts. "Well, I'm sure Bridgette will be glad Heather has some experience!" The video ended the camera cut back to Blaineley with a disgusted look on her face. "Ewww!"

"After a few more weeks of this, we invited them to the celebrity manhunt studio", Josh said. The camera cut to some footage of him interviewing the girls. "You've been through so much together. Sharing a cabin at a summer camp, a trailer at an abandoned studio, and losing the final challenge. Why not bury the hatchet? Isn't your friendship more important than this blog war?", he asked them. "You see, Josh, it's just that Gwen is a friend stealing loser." Gwen laughed. "And Heather's breath reeks like cat butt!" The girls glared at each other. Gwen jumped up and pounced on Heather. They began fighting on the floor of the studio, while Josh watched gleefully. The video ended, and Blaineley laughed. "What is it with guys and cat fights?" "Let's watch it again! Rawr!" "Not now, a major celebrity is arriving at the red carpet!" The camera cut to a live feed of Chris being hurled out of a limo. Chef walked out and went up to him. "Dude, where'd you learn to drive? Nascar?", Chris asked. "Ah, suck it up, you big baby", Chef responded. "Fine, you clean up the barf!" Chris turned and saw the camera. "Hey, you guys are from Celebrity Manhunt! Josh, man, did you get my video?" The camera cut to Josh shoving it in a draw. "Yep..."

Blaineley called Chris so they could talk. "Chris, you must be dying to see the Total Drama cast again." Chris looked confused. "Who?" "The teenagers you abused for two seasons on national television?" "Oh, right! Love their work, love them! Can we talk about my new show now?" Blaineley put her phone down. "We're going to take a break, but don't go away. Next, we have the rags to riches to rags story of the Drama Brothers, the Total Drama band that rocketed up and down the charts with their hit song, 'When I Cry.'" "Here's a clip from last summer's rocking music video." The clip played. Trent, Cody and Justin did their singing for a bit while Harold beat boxed. Then, it was time for a commercial break.

A few minutes later... "Okay, we're back!", Blaineley said. "Now it's time to check in on Total Drama's most infamous cast member, Duncan." The video cut to some footage of Duncan in prison while Josh talked. "Duncan was never a good kid. Even in kindergarten he was a trouble maker, racking up detention after detention. Then when he got older, his crimes got more and more serious. His family's always done their best to bail him out, but sometimes that just isn't enough. A few months ago he got caught robbing a thrift store, and as a result he might not make it to the red carpet tonight." The video cut to an interview with Duncan. "My lawyer said not to comment, but I don't really care. I'm in here because I did something I thought would be fun, and it was. As long as I don't assault anybody, prison really won't be that hard for me. Sure it'd be nice to go free, but having to obey the law all the time? There's no fun in that." The video ended and cut back to Josh. "Duncan may be a bad boy, but a lot of girls like that. It's possible one of his former teammates does." The camera cut to a clip from Gwen's blog. "Okay, I've been getting a lot of emails about Duncan. Do you like him, he's perfect for you, the other girls don't deserve him... Enough already. After my time with Trent last season, I've decided not to date anyone I might be in competition with, case closed. I mean, don't get me wrong, he's hot, but I don't think I wanna hook up with him... I think."

The clip ended and Josh said "Now let's check in on another celebrity couple." "Izzy and Geoff, the crazy party animals. You just couldn't open a gossip magazine this year without seeing a picture of Izzy and Geoff, or as we like to call them, Izzeff. Wild parties, insane antics, and to top it off, Izzy's budding career as an actress! Izzy may have gotten more camera time, but Geoff was getting and giving attention of his own. Izzy had to put up with a lot of Geoff stalkers..." "When Geoff let his guard down, Izzy gave him a smackdown. But luckily for Izzeff, they patched things right up." The video cut to Geoff and Izzy in an interview. "Let's all just chill out. I never should've let my eyes wander from my widdle Izzy", Geoff said. He smiled at Izzy, and she smiled back. "Just don't let it happen again, or I might have to claw those eyes out." Geoff laughed. "That's my crazy girl." "Crazy for YOU." They started making out and the video ended.

"Well, hookups and make ups are good, but you gotta bring more than that if you want major star status. So, let's move on to the most famous of these teen stars, the Drama Brothers!" "The Total Drama boy band rocked the pop music world." The camera cut to some footage of the Brothers at an awards show. Cody got out of a limo and waved at a camera. "Yeah, we're sellin' out. Stadiums, I mean. Girls even steal our used hotel bedsheets." Trent walked over and put his arm around Cody. "It's all about touching people on an emotional level, you know what I mean?" A fangirl reached over and took Cody's hat. Next, the video cut to Lindsay and Cody. "I've always wanted to date someone in a boy band, but I never thought it'd happen", Lindsay said. "This is a dream come true!" Cody leaned over and kissed her. "Just being with you is a dream come true for me, babe." Then the video cut to Justin trying to play guitar in a studio. "I don't even play an instrument, but the crazy groupie chicks don't mind." He kept playing and a string on the guitar broke. The camera cut back to Blaineley in the studio, sighing and smiling. "Ahh... I am SO crushing on Justin. He had enough flavor for the whole band."

"Just as their album shot to the top of the charts, the trappings of fame shot straight to their heads." "The party was over, but was their music career? When they weren't doing community service as punishment for disturbing the peace, the Drama Brothers were in studio recording a new album." "Celebrity Manhunt caught up with them between sets." The camera cut to Josh interviewing the Brothers in a studio. Justin was playing guitar, badly, and Trent glared at him. After a minute he took the guitar. Justing shrugged and picked up a cell phone. "People blame the birthday party, but that's rock and roll, man", Cody said. "Uh, the problem was the music", Trent said. "You mean the beat boxing?", Harold asked. "Aww, H Bomb, you know I love your style, but this is about giving the fans what they want." Harold glared at Trent. "You mean the fans who keep begging me to make a solo album?" "See? You just can't bring up the beat boxing around him", Trent told Josh. "What do you think, Justin?", Cody asked. Justin looked up from his phone. "Huh? Sorry, I'm just breaking up with someone." "Ah, do me a solid and send one to my girl, too? And maybe send one to Lindsay", Trent said. Cody glared at him. "Why should I break up with her?" "You spend all your free time with her instead of in the studio, and we're all suffering for it." "There's more to life than music, dude!" The video cut to Harold talking to Josh by himself. "Listen, I wanna take this opportunity, also to give you an exclusive, and just to talk a bit about what's happening. I'm going solo. Check it!" He held out his hands, which had tattoos that read "lo so" on them. "What does lo so mean?", Josh asked. Harold twisted his arms around so that his hands read "solo." "Solo. Are you serious?" "Yeah, I'm dead serious." Josh laughed. "Why?" "I'm just done. I've been through that. I've done it. It seems like it's Harold's time now. I'm just gonna- why are you laughing at me?"

The video cut to Harold and the Drama Brothers in a music store, sitting at some desks with their CDs. "When Harold and the Drama Brothers released their albums on the same day, Celebrity Manhunt was there", Josh said. A girl walked up to them, passing Harold to talk to the Brothers. "Can I get a discount on this CD? I need the case for something else", she said. The video cut back to Josh and Blaineley. "And that was the end of the Drama Brothers." "Izzy turned out to be an awesomely talented actress on the set of Total Drama Action. After her elimination and escaping the RCMP, she signed a stack of movie deals. Her career skyrocketed until she lost it on set and scared the lunch out of her crew, and we've got some footage from the dramatic event." The camera cut to Izzy in the middle of a rant. "Or I'll kick your ****ing butt! I want you off the ****ing set!" "Sorry..." "No! Don't be freaking sorry, THINK for a damn second! No, no, no, I will NOT take five minutes, ******! I'm ready to go NOW! You call yourself a director of photography! Why were you walking right through the set! Why were you walking right through the ****ing set!" A blonde guy ran offstage, crying. Izzy laughed. "Okay, I was just kidding! Guys? I just really went ballistic for no reason. What?" The video ended. "Ooh, not a brilliant career move there, Izzy. That director was in trauma counseling for months!", Josh said.

"Post Total Drama, Tyler and Leshawna hit the celebrity reality TV circuit", Blaineley said. "You've seen them on shows like Celebrity Stunt Driving, Doctor for a Day, So You Think You Can Eat That?, and Pantsing with the Stars. We caught up with these 'realebrities' on the set of Sharp Things Flying at Your Head." The video cut to Leshawna and Tyler running on treadmills on a game show, dodging various sharp objects. "My awesome athletic abilities went to waste on Total Drama- whoa!- but on these other shows, I can really use my natural physical talents- whoa! Leshawna too! Yow!" Leshawna was panting and seating. "Talent, schmalent! I'm doin' this for the cash money!", she said. A brick flew by her and hit Tyler in the head, knocking him over. "Yes!" The video ended and went back to the studio. "Okay, worst career moves. Go." "I'm gonna say Leshawna's Largest Loser weight loss show appearance. Girl, why would you wanna trip down that perfect bootay?" "My vote goes to Tyler for putting on that fake baby bump. Dude, that was a desperate fame grab!" "Some people will do anything for fame, but it seems like others will do anything to avoid it." The video cut to Eva being hounded by the paparazzi. "Eva, can you sign my hockey stick, Eva, can you, huh? Can you, can you, can you?" "Shut up!" She yanked the hockey stick from the fan and bit it in half. "Now get lost before I have to bust some chops!" She turned to a guy holding a camera. "What're you looking at!" She punched the camera and broke it, ending the video. "But if there's one rule we've discovered at Celebrity Manhunt, it's the bigger the freakout, the greater the fame", Josh said. "Soon a bunch of competing websites sprang up with the wildest, most insane Eva freakout photos", Blaineley said.

"We tracked down one webmaster for this live interview. She asked that her identity be hidden to protect her from angry Eva." The video cut to Blaineley doing an interview with a girl obscured by shadow. "So, you know everything about the Total Drama cast?" "Yeah! I'm the one who leaked the story about Noah's false teeth." "Would you call yourself a gossip crazed Eva fan?" "It's not just Eva. I have websites for everyone from Total Drama." "Wow, I'm in the presence of gossip royalty!" "That's why it's important to keep my identity a total secret." Suddenly, a light turned on and the girl in shadow was revealed. "There you are, silly beans!", Izzy said as she walked in. The girl sighed. "So much for my anonymity." "You saw the doctor? I'm so happy it's cleared up. Anyways, Sierra, Lindsay told me she has four ingrown toenails..." "Hold on. Izzy, you've been feeding Sierra the dirt on your Total Drama cast mates?", Blaineley asked. "Course not, you're crazy!" Izzy laughed awkwardly. "Haha, ha, ha... Okay, yes. I needed to pay off the RCMP creeps that are on my tail. Those guys aren't cheap." "Oooh, your friends are NOT gonna be happy about that on the red carpet. Speaking of which, Izzy, shouldn't you be getting ready for the Gemmie awards?" "I am! Geoffie's waiting in the car outside!" She ran off, laughing. "See ya!"

The camera cut back to Josh in the studio. He got a phone call. "Hello? Oh my gosh, really!" He put the phone down. "The limos are coming! Oh my gosh, oh my gosh, oh my gosh!" "Limos!" Josh and Blaineley cheered. "Who's up for a celebrity grudgefest? Join Josh, me and hardcore fan Sierra on the crimson carpet." Sierra ran onstage and over to Blaineley. "Really? I get to be Celebrity Manhunt's red carpet interview diva?" She gasped and glomped Blaineley. "That's so cool!" She ran off to find a camera. "Well, we'll see you all on the red carpet after these messages!" The show went to commercial.

Moments later, the show was back. "Welcome back to Celebrity Manhunt's Total Drama red carpet reunion special", Blaineley said. "This is it, people. Months of Total Drama cast infighting, backstabbing and fame grabs are about to pay off, right here, as our reality stars strut their stuff on the Gemmie awards' red carpet." The camera cut to Sierra on the carpet amongst the screaming fans. "Thanks, Josh. Sierra here. I've got the carpet totally covered." A limo pulled up and the first Total Drama contestant arrived. "OMG, it's beat boxer Harold, AKA H Bomb!" Harold waved at the crowd. Someone yelled "You suck!" and threw a copy of his CD at him. He got hit in the head and fell over. "Ooh, looks like we have some H Bomb fans in the audience today", Sierra said. Back in the studio, Blaineley said "With the release of his juicy tell-all book about the Drama Brothers, except fireworks when the rest of the band shows up." "And here's reality TV's most famous BFFs, Katie and Sadie!" They got out of a limo and Sierra ran up to them. "Ladies..." "Celebrity Manhunt? Oh my gosh, hi Josh!" "Hi, Blaineley!" "We love you!" "Lookin' smokin' hot in green. Why don't you tell our ten million viewers about your outfits?", Sierra asked them. The girls went wide-eyed and stared at the camera. "Ten million?" "They all wanna know! ...It's a pretty simple question." "Uuuhh... I dunno", Katie said. Sadie kept staring at the camera. "Ten million?"

DJ and his mama arrived in their tour bus. "I told you we'd be late, DJ", his mama said. Sierra ran up to them. "Uh, DJ! How does it feel to have it all, then lose it?" "Mm, no biggie", he said. Back in the studio, Blaineley said "Ahem, we're here for the gossip..." "Oh. Okay, DJ, level with me. Secretly, who can't you stand from Total Drama? Like who do you just hate?" DJ's mama whacked Sierra and she fell over. "What's wrong with you, girl? You think I raised my son to talk smack behind people's backs?" She dragged her son away. Back in the studio, Josh got another call. "Hello? Oh my gosh, really? Awesome!" He put his phone down. "Big news, Duncan's here! So is Courtney!" Sierra ran up to them. "Duncan, Courtney!" "Hi!", Courtney said. "How's it going? Any big news I should be aware of?" "Well, I'm trying to work my way into a third season, but that's about it", Courtney said. Meanwhile, Duncan just walked away. "Buzz off, babe. I'm sick of interviews." Sierra sighed. "Okay then... Oh, I think I see Lindsay! Here comes our fashion goddess, wearing... her normal clothes?" Lindsay walked up to Sierra. "Hi!" "Lindsay, you're not even dressed up! What happened?" "Well, I didn't wanna get my new designer dress wrinkled at the dress rehearsal." "But this isn't a rehearsal, it's the Gemmie awards!" "Oh..." "Uh... this is awkward." "I got these new earrings..." Sierra facepalmed as Lindsay pointed at her ear jewelry.

Blaineley called Sierra. "Hey, the rest of the Total Drama cast members are arriving on the red carpet!" They were all there except the Drama Brothers, Izzy and Noah. "I call dibs on the front row seats!", Heather said. "Oh no you don't!", Leshawna said. Heather and her ran to the doors, with the others right behind them. On his way there, Tyler tripped on the carpet and knocked everyone else over. "Yo, yo, yo!", Ezekiel said. DJ's mama smacked him. "Ouch!" Back in the studio, Josh was laughing. "Sierra, another limo has just pulled up!" Noah walked out of the limo, talking to someone on his cell phone. "Lactose free, half caf, cocoa sprinkles..." "It's the man of mystery, Noah! Where have you-" Noah brushed Sierra off and kept walking. "And a gluten free muffin, yeah." "But... Aww. Looks like Noah landed himself a super important job in the industry. Nothing says power like a phone and a latte." In the studio, Blaineley was getting annoyed. "Sierra! You know what would be better than nothing? SOMETHING!" Sierra ran over to her next targets. "Guys, I have the Drama Brothers!" Blaineley sighed. "Let me guess, they've reunited and and are re-releasing their last hit single." "Yeah, pretty much", Harold said. "Hey, how did you know?", Cody asked.

"The Gemmies are about to start, and I'm going to follow these guys inside", Sierra said. She and the Total Drama cast got to the door, where Chef was waiting. "Famous people only", he told them. The teens were confused. "And as of about five seconds ago, that excludes you." "Who died and made you door man?", Gwen asked. "I did", Chris said. He walked out of the building and Lindsay gasped. "You died?" "Noah, coffee." Noah ran up and handed him a coffee cup. "That my muffin?", Chris asked. Gwen smirked. "You're Chris's assistant?" Cody smirked too. "You kiss Chris's butt for money?" "Cut me some slack. Everybody has to work their way up in this biz." Suddenly, a limo pulled up. A bunch of random people and the Sasquatchanakwa came out. "Bros. Come on in, my peeps!", Chris said to them. "How are they famous?", Gwen asked. "They're the stars of my NEW reality show: Total Drama Dirtbags!" The teens looked confused again. "A bunch of nasty people jerks live in a huge mansion and get all bored and backstabby", Noah explained. "These guys are up and coming, not down and going, IE you losers", Chris told them. "Excuse me!" A young man walked up to Chris, passing through the Total Drama cast and knocking Cody over. Lindsay and Sierra gasped. "Cody?" Chris smiled. "Alejandro, buddy! How's my next big star?" Alejandro ignored him and walked into the building. Chris took a sip of coffee and spat it out into Noah's face. "Ugh! This latte's cold! You're fired!" He pushed Noah away. "Well, guys, I'd say see ya later, but, uh, there isn't gonna be a later. So..." He walked into the building and slammed the door.

The teens were left alone outside in stunned silence. The lights turned off. A cricket started chirping, but Duncan stepped on it. DJ glared at him. "Aww, now what'd you have to go and do that for, man?", he asked. "Hey guys, we have to find a way inside", Sierra said. Izzy smiled. "Leave that to me." She ran off and tried several possible entrances, including the roof and the sewers. A few minutes later, she came out of the building through the doors, carrying some popcorn. "Izzy, the door!" Izzy ate some popcorn and the door swung shut. The teens groaned. "Izzy, can you do that again?", Sierra asked. Izzy raised an eyebrow and kept eating. "Do what?"

A TV above the door turned on and showed the Gemmie awards starting. "If we win best reality ensemble, we'll be famous again, right?", Courtney said. The teens sat down and watched the awards show. Near the end, it was time for the reality show awards. "Next up, best reality ensemble", the announcer said. "This is it!" Courtney and the others stood up. On the stage at the awards show, Alejandro took the envelope and opened it. "And the winner is... Golden Oldies in Their Undies!" A small part of the studio audience applauded. Lindsay smiled. "Aww, that's so cute!" "That means we lost", Gwen told her. Lindsay frowned. "Oh. Sooo not cute." Courtney walked up to the TV and pulled it down. "Who cares about that stupid award? I'm going to law school! I have a future!" She threw the TV over the teens. "Golden Oldies in Their Undies was the only reality show Tyler and I weren't in!", Leshawna said. "Uh, guys?" Cody pointed to the TV, which was somehow still working. "And the Gemmie for best host goes to, once again, Chris McLean." Chris walked onstage, laughing. "Wow, thanks, again! But I couldn't have done it without a great group of people from Total Drama Action." The former cast members smiled. "The interns, uh, the caterers, the camera crew, and the real stars of the show: my stylists!" The former cast members frowned. Noah walked up to the TV. "What about your long suffering assistant, schmuck!" He kicked the TV and it went flying. Leshawna smiled. "Didn't know you had it in you, string bean."

The TV was still working. "Tomorrow, I'll introduce the cast of my NEW reality series, Total Drama Dirtbags, on the Orpah show!" Geoff frowned. "Dudes, you heard the guy. We're nobodies again." "At least I'll be able to survive on the streets", Duncan said. "Me too, y'all! Jiggy!", Ezekiel said. When he wasn't looking, a hobo crept up and stole his wallet. "And I'll go back to being just another pretty face", Justin said. "And pecs", "And abs", Katie and Sadie said. "And butt", Owen added. Meanwhile, Heather was freaking out. "I can't go back to my old life! If I'm not famous, I'm not popular! So... cold..." Bridgette walked up and hugged her.

The teens started walking away, except Sierra. "What's the matter with you! No one deserves to be more famous than you guys! You can't just give up! Do you have any idea how many millions of fans there are out there? I've been watching, blogging, PVR-ing you since the first episode! I, I mean we, have fan sites about each and everyone one of you! We know everything about you, and we are rooting for you!" The former campers came back, some of them smiling, others looking nervous or suspicious. "We know your eating habits, your hopes, your fears, your dental records!" "Stalker", Heather muttered. Sierra ignored her. "You can't let us down now! What do you say?" "What're we supposed to do?", Owen asked. "I say we beat those dirtbags to Orpah's studio, hijack the interview, and voila, you're all famous again." "But she's in New York! How are we supposed to get there by tomorrow afternoon?", Harold asked. Izzy gasped. "I think I know of a way, but it's not going to be easy." Noah raised an eyebrow. "Yeah, this should be interesting." "Okay, Cody, I need you to gather some assorted lengths of lumber." "Uh, right now?" "Owen, can you track down a medium sized boat motor?" He smiled. "No prob, I'm on it!" "Noah, I'm counting on you for three gallons of diesel fuel." Noah smirked. "Sure thing. I'll get my unicorn to deliver it." "Perfect! The real challenge is gonna be getting access to a car manufacturing plant. Okay, we can do it guys, we can do it!" Suddenly, DJ and his mama drove up in their bus and honked the horn. "Hey guys, are you gonna get on the bus or not?" The teens cheered and hopped in.

The next day's episode of Celebrity Manhunt started with a big surprise from Josh. "Breaking news, everyone!" "This is a Total Drama Comeback!" The video cut to Chris and Chef in a helicopter above DJ's tour bus. "They have one dream: to claw their way back to fame no matter what it takes! Cheating, shameless self promotion, sabotage! I love those kids!", Chris said. Chef looked at him. "You said they were washed up!" "That was before they set off on an unforgettable comeback adventure!" The camera cut back to Blaineley. "We have a feed from inside DJ's bus!" The camera cut to Sierra. "I told you these people were gossip worthy!" Half of them were asleep. Ezekiel was sleeping with her eyes open. Courtney was driving and Duncan was riding shotgun. "Does this jalopy go any faster?", Courtney asked. "Um, maybe you should let Duncan drive", Gwen said. "Not helping, Gwen." "She's just sticking up for her boyfriend", Heather said. "Oh, wait. They're 'just friends.' My mistake."

Further back in the bus, Beth was turning green. "I don't feel so good..." She gulped. "I think I'm gonna be bus sick!" "Don't you get sick all over my new upholstery now", DJ's mama said. Leshawna smiled. "You are somethin' else, Mrs. M." She set a drink down on a table and DJ's mama glared at her. "Put a coaster under that, girl." Leshawna did so, but the bus hit a bump and the glass fell over. DJ's mama took a deep breath. "What is that?" Owen looked nervous and slammed a luggage cabinet above his seat closed. "What was what? Uh, nothing..." The luggage cabinet burst open and several pounds of junk food fell onto the floor. After a few seconds the falling stopped, then started again. "What're you doing with all those snacks on my bus? My food's not good enough?" "I always have a stash handy for after my workouts."

Bridgette stuck her head out a window and gasped. "Hey guys, there's the dirtbag bus up ahead!" "We've gotta find a way to slow them down!", Cody said. Harold ran up to Courtney. "Get closer!" "And then what?" "I learned some battle tactics at pirate camp!" "You got game, H Bomb!", Leshawna shouted. Courtney put her foot down on the gas. The bus sped up, and then she slammed it against the dirtbag bus. Courtney sped up again and changed lanes, driving in front of the dirtbags. "Now if we just had some kind of catapult..." Harold scratched his chin, then smiled. "Like a bra!" "Wow, genius", Noah said. "Got any better ideas?", Gwen asked. "Here's a bra!" Leshawna launched hers toward the front of the bus. It landed on Noah's head. Harold stared at her, blushing. "What? You ain't never seen triple D's before?" Heather and Owen set up the bra like a slingshot. "Tyler, ammo!" "I'm all over it!", he said. He ran toward the bra with an armful of Owen's snacks. "Don't even think about getting chocolate on my nice clean floor", DJ's mama said. Tyler tripped and the snacks went flying into the bra. "I can't hold it much longer!", Owen said. Harold closed one eye and smiled. "Aye, matey! Fire in the hole!" Owen let go of the bra and the snacks flew out of the bus, landing on the dirtbag bus's windshield.

Chris watched the action from his helicopter. "Whoa, it looks like they're shooting caramel flavored cannon balls!" Blaineley talked to him over a headset system. "Chris, in your entire career, have you ever seen anything so underhanded?" Chris smiled and wiped a tear from his eye. "Nothing as depraved as this, Blaineley. Nothing as depraved as this." Back on the bus, the teens loaded up the catapult bra again. "Eat chocolate!", Owen yelled. Gwen pushed the door open. "Fire!" Owen let the bra go and the treats hit the other bus's windshield again. In the other bus, Alejandro turned on the windshield wipers and glared Gwen and Heather. "You're gonna regret this!" Heather smirked. "Ha! You messed with the wrong reality show cast, mister!" The sasquatchanakwa stuck its head out the shotgun window. Owen fired another round of treats and hit him in the face.

At the front of the bus, Duncan was busy being a backseat driver. "Hurry it up!" "Back off! It won't go any faster than this!", Courtney yelled. "What we need is a man behind the wheel." "What YOU need is some tape over your mouth!" "Well, if you'd just listen to me!" "Oh I'll start listening the minute you say something worthwhile!" Courtney turned and glared at Duncan. Duncan glared back. "You're insane, you know that?" "And you are a monster! This is why you're never gonna have a decent girlfriend!" "At least I'll be able to get SOMEONE! Of course, with that pole up your butt, you don't really NEED someone, do you?"

Cody checked out the back window and smiled. "Hey, the dirtbags are way behind us! Woohoo!" The teens all cheered, except Duncan and Courtney, who were still arguing. Then, the bus started shaking. "Why is the road so bumpy all of a sudden?", Gwen asked. Up in the helicopter, Chris asked a related question. "Where did Courtney learn to drive? Uh-oh..." Back in the bus, DJ opened a window, stuck his head out and screamed. "Courtney! Look out! Cliff!" Courtney gasped, turned back to the wheel and forcibly turned it sideways. A wheel fell off and the bus kept heading for the cliff. Courtney screamed. "I can't steer!" "What'd I tell you about crashing my bus?", DJ's mama asked. Duncan screamed "Hit the brakes!" "What do you think I'm doing!" Everyone screamed, except Izzy. "So Noah was Chris's assistant... huh." The bus went over the cliff and fell. It almost hit the canyon below, but something got caught on a branch. Everyone stopped screaming as the bus failed to crash.

Beth turned green again. "Now I have motion sickness..." "Oh no you don't!", DJ's mama told her. Gwen looked up and saw why they hadn't crashed. "I hope Leshawna doesn't need her bra back..." The elastic reached its limit and the bus went flying into the air. Everyone started screaming again, except Izzy, who cheered and bounced around due to the momentary lack of gravity pulling her down. "Woohoo!" "Being weightless is awesome!", Geoff said. "I know, I feel like this all the time!" "Rock on, babe!" DJ's mama looked around and saw an odd green blotch. "What's that?", she asked. Beth frowned. "I... I couldn't hold it down!" Speaking of down, the bus soon fell back to earth again. Owen landed on Courtney. "Cut the bra! Cut the bra!", she yelled. Duncan climbed up and cut it with his pocket knife. He bus fell and hit the canyon floor.

Owen looked up and smiled. "I'm alive! Awesome!" He got up, released a smashed Noah. One by one, he and the others got out of the bus. Last out was Geoff. "I came here to party, but this seriously lacks partaciousness, so I'm going to get help. Then, we're all gonna party! Woohoo!" "I'll come with you, Geoff", Justin said. "Me too!", Katie and Sadie both said. Geoff smiled. "Great! Anybody else? Izzy, babe?" Izzy sighed. "Nah, I'm gonna take a nap. See you later, Geoffie." "Okay, anyone?" Trent, Eva, Beth and DJ's mama raised their hands. "Okay, let's go." They walked away, leaving the others at the bus. By nightfall, they hadn't come back, so everyone went to sleep. Izzy was the first one to wake up in the morning. She looked around. "Geoffie? Geoffie, where are you? Oh, I hope he found help..."

Geoff and his group found a house in the middle of nowhere. He pounded on the door. "Help! Help! Help, help! Help, dudes!" He kicked the door open and walked in. "Ugh, why didn't you dummies open the door?" Trent looked in. "Uh, dude? Those are dummies." "Oh... Right." Geoff frowned. "Wait a minute. Isolated location, dummies, nuclear testing signs, flesh eating mutants..." "Hi." "Dudes! We gotta get out of here!" Geoff and the others ran away, screaming. Mere moments later, an atomic bomb was dropped on the house.

Back at the bus, everyone was still sleeping except DJ. Suddenly, Owen woke up and sniffed the air. "That smells awesome!", he said. DJ smiled and stirred a pot of soup. "Just thought I'd make sure you guys don't go hungry", he said. Owen smiled and walked over to him. "Ooh, what is it? Please say back bacon..." "Fried rocks with tumbleweed." He picked up a ladle, scooped some of the soup out and shoved it in Owen's mouth. Owen didn't chew. "You don't like it?" Owen faked a smile. "Oh, no, it's awesome. Heheheh..." Owen bit down, grimaced, and then threw up into the pot.

A loud crash rang out. The teens awoke and looked up to see that the bus was being lifted by a giant magnet attached to a helicopter. Sierra stood up to see who it was. "It's Chris!" "They don't call me best host for nothing!", he shouted. He laughed and the teens cheered. The teens climbed into the bus and it was raised into the sky.

Chris flew the helicopter back to the set of Total Drama Action and brought everyone into the craft services tent. Alejandro was there, and served up breakfast. Owen smiled. "Pancakes, woohoo!" He ate all the pancakes at the table he sat at. Bridgette glared at him, while Lindsay and Cody looked grossed out. Chris walked to the middle of the room. "I have an announcement", he began. "Now, we all know that nobody does drama like you guys..." "Duh, but what happened to Total Drama Dirtbags?", Heather asked. Alejandro walked to Chris. "It was a trick! There never was any Total Drama Dirtbags!" "Is that true?" Chris shrugged. "Well, mostly... I did come up with the name. But, anywho, I needed to find out if you kids still had it." "What about Alejandro?", Heather asked. "A dupe, just like the rest of you." He walked up to Heather and gave her a noogie. "I needed someone on the inside, but to make it up to him, I said he could join you guys next time." "What next time?", Noah asked. "A no holds barred race around the world in a jet!" Several of the teens glared at Chris. Gwen raised an eyebrow. "After all the crap you pus us through? As if." "Don't you wanna be famous again?" "Pass", Duncan said. "What about cash? The chance to win, oh, one million dollars?" The teens started cheering like crazy.

"Whoopwhoopwhoop, Celebrity Manhunt exclusive alert!", Blaineley shouted in the studio. "Another season of Total Drama is coming, and I for one can't wait", Josh said. "Well, drama machine, what do you think of that?" The machine exploded. Blaineley and Josh laughed. Then, Geoff and his group ran in. "We gotta rescue the gang! Then, we gotta party!", he said. "Too late, big guy!", Blaineley told him. She pointed at the TV screen above her, where the teens with Chris were partying already. "Hey, what's Chris doing with everybody on TV?", Trent asked. "Looks like you missed the boat. Chris just cast your buds on the next season of Total Drama." "And one of them will walk away with one million dollars!" Geoff gasped. "No. No! NOOOO!" Eva glared at Josh and Blaineley. "What! No way! I'm gonna lose it!" She began throwing chairs and spotlights around. "We'd better sign off", Blaineley said. "Ah, agreed! Thanks for watching Celebrity Manhunt's Total Drama reunion special!" Eva threw a camera and the show ended.

Back on the set of TDA, a few of the teens were using the confession cam.

_Confession Cam: Courtney_

"_Looks like I'm back for another season after all, and I'll be sure to win this time." _

_Confession Cam: Harold and Leshawna_

_Harold put his arm around Leshawna and smirked. She gasped. "Get your hands offa me!" She pushed him over, but he stood back up. "I thought we could form an alliance! Check it!" He started beat boxing, but Leshawna covered his mouth._

_Confession Cam: Sierra_

"_OMG, this is my first confessional ever! I am so excited! I never thought I would be on Total Drama, my favorite show in the world! Talking to all my favorite TV stars is sooo fab. Now I will finally put to rest all those Cody blog questions, like how many freckles does he have on his back, what kind of deodorant does he use, how many times does Cody sleep facing west, and what song does he sing in the shower. Ooh, ooh my... That last question will definitely be a six month analysis! Oh yeah!" Sierra started giggling and squealing._

_Confession Cam: Ezekiel_

"_Ho-Ho-Homies, get in focus, and take notice! I'm what is, oh yeah, that's showbiz! Uh-uh-uh-uh-huh!" _

_Confession Cam: Izzy_

"_I miss Geoffie! I know we were apart a long time during the last two seasons, but this is my first season without him! I'm not sure what I'm gonna do... or how I'm gonna be with him gone... but I do know I'm gonna try to win it for both of us! Our mad scientist death ray party WILL happen!" _

_Confession Cam: Gwen_

"_You know what they say, third time's the charm! This could be my season!"_

_Confession Cam: Duncan_

"_Hey, I'm game. Bring it, Chris."_

_Confession Cam: Alejandro_

"_Watch out, Total Drama nerds. The new guy is going all the way to the top."_

_Confession Cam: DJ_

"_Don't you worry, mama. I'm gonna win this one and buy you a big ol' house! And, maybe a new bus."_

_Confessin Cam: Owen_

"_Mmm, pancakes!"_

_Confession Cam: Sierra_

"_I can't wait to find out where we're going first! Twenty three percent of my bloggers say we're going to India, and ten percent say that Chris is lying to us, and that he's actually gonna film us in an old bomb shelter! Pff, as if! I'm a second generation Chris McLean scholar, okay? I could tell if he was lying to us about something this big. BTW, did you know Chris wears thirty two by thirty one pants? And only buys them at Strutty's Pants and Jewelers? He also has three dogs, Banjo, Todd and-" The battery died, ending Sierra's confession._

Chris walked over to a jumbo jet, with a camera guy following him. "One group of teens, a trip around the world, and a million dollars. What more could you possibly want?" Chef came out of the plane, dressed as a stewardess. "How 'bout music?", he asked. "Yeah... everybody's doing the musical thing now. Sure, we'll add music! See ya next time, on Total Drama World Tour!"

**Haha, okay, no. NO. I'm sorry to everyone who liked that part of season three, but I am NOT going to be including songs in my season three story except for the first chapter or two. I'm sorry. There is one very good reason for this, though. Many of the songs aren't just singing because Chris said so, but are plot related. For example, Sierra's song in Paris or Gwen and Duncan's song in Greece. The problem is, due to plot changes, the events that caused some of those songs may not occur. For example, Duncan and Courtney never hooked up in my Total Drama Island fan fic due to changed elimination order, so "Boyfriend Kisser" would have no reason to exist next season in my story. And yes, yes, I could make some original songs. Yes, I've written songs before. On the other hand, I can't really make music to go with them and just having the lyrics would be rather boring compared to songs from the show, and it's much harder to write a decent song than to write decent fan fiction. It'd triple the time it takes to make each chapter, at a minimum, and the songs would only be a paragraph or two long. I don't think it's worth the effort. So I'm just going to write the story. If that really bugs you... fine. Don't read my story for next season. If you're okay with it, thank you, and I hope you understand. **

**So... yeah. Season two is over. Season three, Total Drama World Tour: Unsung Songs, starts next month. Look forward to it, and I hope you'll like it. Thanks for reading!"**


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